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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

I’m not. I’ve had the bloody shittest news.

110 replies

MustardScreams · 15/11/2019 23:14

I have breast cancer. It started as a lump, but because I was breastfeeding everyone believed it was a blocked duct.
It wasn’t until I told my GP my mum and grandma had both had BC they took me seriously.

When’d they scanned me the tumour was basically taking over my entire nipple.

I’ve had my lumpectomy. I’ve has rads. I’m taking tamoxifen at 30.

I’m about to start chemo (3.5 weeks) and can someone please tell me wtf

OP posts:
ChazsBrilliantAttitude · 16/11/2019 00:33

Well that is shit. Flowers
My stepmum had BC in her 30’s and lived to her 70’s. Best wishes.

titnomatani · 16/11/2019 00:34

That's really sad to hear. Sending lots of love and prayers your way OP. Go in and beat that bastards arse.

fudgesmummy · 16/11/2019 00:35

Yep, that’s shit ☹️
I’m so sad and angry for you darling

grannybiker · 16/11/2019 00:36

Yep, that is indeed the shittiest news.
I sort of know how you feel as I was diagnosed in 2015, but I don't still have children at home. That must be so very much worse. I can honestly say that the absolute crappiest thing is the effect it's had on those who love me. My lovely husband has been broken and I've made my grown and flown children cry and want to return. #IFHC
Missy had some wise words and I'll add this great support group too www.facebook.com/groups/582535348475806/
Hope Always and heartfelt hugs (((xxx)))

Alsohuman · 16/11/2019 00:38

Really sorry, it is total shit. I hope the treatment’s a total success and you’re soon completely healthy. 💐

Tolleshunt · 16/11/2019 00:41

Oh Mustard, I’m so sorry. Flowers

Wishing you all the luck in the world.

My mum had breast cancer when she was in her early 40s, and I was mid-teens. The treatment was tough, and the whole experience was emotionally challenging, but the treatment was completely successful and she is with us and (touch wood) fit and healthy 29 years later in her early seventies.

Hope you have lots of real-life support to help you through this?

cakeandchampagne · 16/11/2019 00:45

Thinking of you. Flowers

flobonobo · 16/11/2019 01:06

Ahh im so sorry yes WTF.... so shitty. You have a new baby too? ❤️

You know as they caught it still in your breast and not spread, you have a great prognosis! I hope you don’t mind me saying that and that I’m right saying that from your tests.

If you want to look at other things you can do to support your body, you can look at turmeric- reduces inflammation. Check it won’t interfere with you treatment plan.

Wishing you all the luck in the world!! 🤞😘

ReanimatedSGB · 16/11/2019 01:06

Oh that's bollocks. I'm so sorry. I'm sure they will have told you that breast cancer is very treatable and your chances of recovery are good (when my SIL was diagnosed I knew of several people who were 10 or 15 years down the line from having it and still thriving.) The odds are in your favour, but it's still miserable and scary. Best wishes for effective treatment and I hope you have friends and family to look after you while it's ongoing.

SeaToSki · 16/11/2019 01:41

Sending a hug

One suggestion (and please ignore if you are not in a place to receive it)

Most cancers are caused by a mutation in the DNA of the cells that form the tumour. If the doctors know exactly which mutation you have, there is a chance that there is a chemo drug that targets that exact mutation. If you get that chemo drug rather than the beat estimate of a drug that might work, the chances of the chemo working are much higher. The way they work out what the particular mutation that you have is, is by taking a biopsy of the tumour and analysing it. Its something that doesnt happen for everyone yet (which is dreadful).

My suggestion is that you talk to your doctors about this and ask for them to analyse the DNA and identify the mutation in the tumour before they start the chemo

Italiangreyhound · 16/11/2019 01:43

So sorry. Flowers

Hollyhobbi · 16/11/2019 01:46

Ah no that's so awful for you. How old is your baba and have you good family support?

popNlock · 16/11/2019 01:54

I'm so sorry this has happened to you.
My best friend was diagnosed with breast cancer this time last year, she had some chemo and surgery and is cancer free since June this year...for every time you worry, read two survivor stories.
You will find an unbelievable strength you didn't know you had... We'll all be rooting for you. Take care
I'll be thinking of you. Xx

Candymay · 16/11/2019 02:06

I’m so sorry and I wish you the best recovery. I can’t say anything to make you feel better because that is really difficult to deal with. Take good care of yourself.

BringMeAGinandTonic · 16/11/2019 02:35

I wish you nothing but the best. I hope all goes well with the treatment.

Flowers
TheMaddHugger · 16/11/2019 02:56

@MustardScreams Biggest (((((Madd Hugs)))))))) in the World.🌺🌼🌺

Original poster
MustardScreams · 16/11/2019 03:20

I am just so so sick of having bloody cancer

And I was just meant to have rads and the lumpectomy and the stupid bastard spread in the meantime.

I wasn’t meant to have chemo!!!

And I’m being dramatic because I can’t sleep. What a pointless shit disease.

OP posts:
BeeFarseer · 16/11/2019 03:23

It's absolutely shit and I'm sorry you're going through it.

I was 27 when I was diagnosed, and my DS was only 14 months old. I'm mid-thirties now and it feels like it was all a terrible dream. I hope you get to this point too.

There is a brilliant community on Facebook for younger women with breast cancer, please come and find us. The stresses and strains of it all are very different for us as you'll know. We get it.

Search for 'Younger Breast Cancer Network UK' and send a PM to ask to join as it's all private.

Percivalthebabyspider · 16/11/2019 04:23

I'm so sorry OP, what an awful shock for you. Wishing you well with your treatment.

WagtailRobin · 16/11/2019 04:27

I don't want to give you any clichés, they get pretty old fast but I do want to wish you luck and strength, so, good luck and all of the best.

Brandyb · 16/11/2019 04:32

My dear friend had exactly this - she was breast feeding a 3-month-old and had a huge lump and it kept being misdiagnosed as mastitis - until finally they twigged. We were both mothers of young babies and suddenly there was a huge wrong turn in her experience and it was traumatic.
Well, she went through the mill -- chemo, radiotherapy, double mastectomy and nipple tattoos - but she got through it and survived and now has had another baby (via frozen eggs). I'm so very sorry this has happened to you but now you know and can deal with it. Wishing you strength and all the best.

Prevegen4U · 16/11/2019 04:42

So sorry you have to go through all this. Both my mum and her mother had breast cancer, both died of old age in their 80's. (My mum died this year at age 88 and it wasn't from breast cancer).

SofiaAmes · 16/11/2019 04:44

WTF!!!!!
Because sometimes you just need what you need and what you ask for and nothing else.

ElizaStrawberry · 16/11/2019 04:54

HRTFT but I remember being so scared when my friend's mum was diagnosed 35 years ago. She's still going strong.

You must be so scared do Flowers

ElizaStrawberry · 16/11/2019 04:54

*so