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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

I’m not. I’ve had the bloody shittest news.

110 replies

MustardScreams · 15/11/2019 23:14

I have breast cancer. It started as a lump, but because I was breastfeeding everyone believed it was a blocked duct.
It wasn’t until I told my GP my mum and grandma had both had BC they took me seriously.

When’d they scanned me the tumour was basically taking over my entire nipple.

I’ve had my lumpectomy. I’ve has rads. I’m taking tamoxifen at 30.

I’m about to start chemo (3.5 weeks) and can someone please tell me wtf

OP posts:
VisibleShantiLine · 15/11/2019 23:17

Can’t tell you WTF. But I can give you these Flowers

silencebeforethebleeps · 15/11/2019 23:17

I'm so sorry Mustard. I know nothing useful about this but Brew Cake Flowers or whatever you need x

Whyhaveidonethis · 15/11/2019 23:17

Hugs. So sorry to hear this, but on the plus side, you know what you are dealing with. You are getting treatment and are in good hands. You are in shock which is totally understandable. Take some time to process it. Xxx

smurfmonkey · 15/11/2019 23:18

I'm so sorry, that is bloody shitty news.

Wishing you all the best for a full recovery x

Jeschara · 15/11/2019 23:20

All the very bestFlowers

Gertie75 · 15/11/2019 23:22

I can't imagine how you must feel, it's truly so unfair.xx

HollowTalk · 15/11/2019 23:22

That is really shit news. I hope your treatment goes well and you have a happy and healthy life.

Flowers
gobbynorthernbird · 15/11/2019 23:23

That is fucking shit news and I'm sorry that you're going through this x

lookatthebabypenguin · 15/11/2019 23:25

That is truly shit. I'm sorry. The universe can be a right bastard.

RainMinusBow · 15/11/2019 23:25

I'm so sorry. I can't begin to understand how you must be feeling. Take care of yourself x

notalottaotter · 15/11/2019 23:26

Oh no, that is so not fair, I'm really sorry. I wish you all the best.

AfterSomeAdvice1234 · 15/11/2019 23:26

This is shit. So shit. So sorry.

belle40 · 15/11/2019 23:27

I'm so sorry OP. Sending you huge hugs and strength Flowers

Wynston · 15/11/2019 23:27

Oh op......that is shit news!!!
Did you find out today??? Flowers

Armadillostoes · 15/11/2019 23:28

Am so sorry Flowers

worriedmumtoteen · 15/11/2019 23:29

I’m so sorry. How shitty and unfair.

I hope your treatment goes well and you make a quick recovery.

Flowers
clairedelalune · 15/11/2019 23:29

Wishing you all the best and thinking of you xx

m0therofdragons · 15/11/2019 23:30

It's hideous and all consuming but you can get through this. Life won't ever be the same but you'll find strength you never knew you had and life will be good again. Even through treatment there can be good days so cling into those and to the better days that are to come xxx

missyB1 · 15/11/2019 23:30

I’m so sorry you’ve had this crappy news. I remember getting my diagnosis 3 years ago the shock was horrendous.
You will get through it but there will be ups and downs, it’s a fucking rollercoaster that you certainly didn’t choose to ride. I can’t say anything that will make you feel better right now, but I will say we have deep reserves of strength that we didn’t know about, you will use those to get through. Take it one day at a time.
Three years down the line and I’m not the same person that I used to be but I’m healthy and happy.
Wishing you all the best Flowers

stiffstink · 15/11/2019 23:30

That is officially shit. I'm so sorry that you're having to deal with this.

My DM was diagnosed with BC just after I had my DD. My maternal GM had it. My DM's cousin has had it. My own cousin has had it.

Its a slightly different issue to the lack of action for your lump, but I was surprised that there wasn't any joined up process in the family history screening process which might result in more screening/faster diagnoses for other families.

For instance why couldn't my DM be asked to consent to "notify" me or my GP of her diagnosis to start the family history screening process? Instead, I had to use my sleep addled brain to research if I needed to do anything, book the GP appointment, await the referral, go to the family history referral and try to remember the ages of all of my grandparents, uncles, aunties and cousins - even my cousins' children - a ton of people when you have 16 cousins.

Then this info was inputted into a computer and they ran some programme that said I had too many cousins for the algorithm to be effective so I would be considered a moderate risk only. 4 months later my data was reviewed by a human and I was called back to be advised that the computer was wrong and I was high risk. At that stage I asked if I should get my DSis (same family history) to get into the system and it was rather "ooh that's a good idea" as though it hadn't occurred to them.

The screening system is far from perfect (17 phone calls to arrange my last MRI) but its better than not being in the system at all.

Sending you hugs and massive bicep curls.

stiffstink · 15/11/2019 23:32

That was long OP, I'm sorry. My point was (in a longwinded way) that there should be a more effective system for flagging family history risks and acting upon them.

SapphireSeptember · 15/11/2019 23:33

I am so sorry. I sincerely hope you recover from this. Flowers Good luck with your treatment.

rededucator · 15/11/2019 23:33

My mum find out and old me 18 years ago. She had one lumpectomy, radio and then another lumpectomy followed by chemo. She was in her 40s. She's now loving retirement in her mid 60s. The NHS is wonderful, keep your family close and informed. They want to be there for you. Use them as support.

MrsMozartMkII · 15/11/2019 23:33

Oh bugger. I'm sorry lass. I hope the treatment blasts it.

Grandmi · 15/11/2019 23:33

I actually cannot imagine how you feel but please feel massively pissed off and scared for a few days and then let battle commence!! I have a few friends who have been diagnosed with breast CA and have all come out the other end and are now fully recovered!! Be strong 🤜X