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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To be annoyed at DP getting a load of cash out?

110 replies

nancyjuice7 · 15/11/2019 17:11

DP went out last night on a works do in the city centre.

Went out at 6pm came back at 3.30am with a pizza, slept on sofa til 7 then came up to bed.
Pretty standard no issue

I've went in his wallet to get money out for a takeaway he wants and found £175 in cash, £10 and £5 notes.

He rarely has cash and work do's are always paid for, drinks food ect all night. There's no need to take money out other than a taxi.

I've thrown a strop and made him show me his banking and he withdrew £200.

He's got no explanation and I don't know wether I'm being unreasonable in being annoyed and overthinking things?

OP posts:
Wildorchidz · 15/11/2019 17:13

Is he not allowed to take out cash if he wants to?

OverthinkingThis · 15/11/2019 17:14

Depends what you are annoyed about OP - are you worried it was for strip club/ sex worker type thing? Does he have previous for this?

OvalCanvas · 15/11/2019 17:14

He could've been so pissed that he went to withdraw cash for the pizza but took too much.

Wildorchidz · 15/11/2019 17:14

And you are in a strop because he can’t account for £25? Are you assuming that he paid for sex??

OverthinkingThis · 15/11/2019 17:14

Is it his own account or joint?

EdersonsSmileyTattoo · 15/11/2019 17:14

DH often draws a chunk of cash out on a night out and comes home with most of it too as he uses his card and comes home in an Uber.

I really wouldn’t give this a second thought.

Why are you insisting he shows you his online banking?

mrsm43s · 15/11/2019 17:15

What are you upset about?

He spent £25. Doesn't seem a big deal to me.

Miniwinnie · 15/11/2019 17:16

If it’s money he has worked for, his own bank account and he had paid his share of the bills then I would have no issue with this.

PatriciaHolm · 15/11/2019 17:17

I would assume he meant to take out £20! Do you distrust him? Presumably you think he drew it out for other reasons but got distracted or something.

nancyjuice7 · 15/11/2019 17:17

It's his money he can do what he likes with it.

If it was strip clubs gambling ect then I would be annoyed obviously

It's that he has no explanation and tried to snatch the wallet off me before I counted it

I think the amount of £10 and £5 is odd, cash machines rarely do £5 these days

OP posts:
MrsKoala · 15/11/2019 17:18

Are you annoyed that one of you will have to go to the bank to pay it back in? Will you now be short for DD's/SO's?

sar302 · 15/11/2019 17:18

So he took some cash out before his work do, and spent £25 - probably on a pizza and a taxi. What is it that you're angry about?

Suebnm · 15/11/2019 17:18

Are you in a strop because your boyfriend took money out of his account or because he has spent 25 pounds you didn't want him to spend?

Is it your boyfriends own private account?

fedup21 · 15/11/2019 17:18

He spent £25 on a night out. What exactly is wrong with that?!

crochetandshit · 15/11/2019 17:19

So he's paid for a pizza and a taxi.
Do you desperately need the cash in the account as bills are due to come out?
Otherwise I'm at a bit of a loss tbh.

TokyoSushi · 15/11/2019 17:19

What? You're annoyed that he drew his own money out of the bank?

sar302 · 15/11/2019 17:19

Ah, late to the party.

You're annoyed because you think it's evidence he intended to misbehave somehow?

pooopypants · 15/11/2019 17:19

All the ATMs near me regularly spit out £5 notes, for what it's worth.

What are you actually annoyed about? That he's spent money? Has it left you short for bills? Is this a regular occurrence?

nancyjuice7 · 15/11/2019 17:19

He spent more than £25, the rest was on card.
As I've said I'm not annoyed about how much he's spent.

I'm saying it's odd for him to withdraw £200 and even more odd the notes that they came out in

OP posts:
Ouchmyleg · 15/11/2019 17:20

What are you suspicious of here? What’s going through your mind when you’re talking about the notes?

multiplemum3 · 15/11/2019 17:21

The majority of cash machines here let you withdraw fivers. You sound a bit too much to be honest, snooping through his stuff then getting paranoid about money lol.

Kazziek · 15/11/2019 17:22

Lots of the cash machines near me at home and at work do £5, so that wouldn't be odd at all

Lana08 · 15/11/2019 17:22

I think op is saying she’s annoyed with the £10 and £5 not the actual £175 or that he spent £25 on a night out. Op we don’t know if he was at a strip club and or gambling. Ask him.

honeylulu · 15/11/2019 17:22

Erm, not sure what the issue is. I draw out 200 cash at a time. It lasts quite a while but I can't be arsed with keep popping to the cash point for 20 a time.

I'd be livid if my husband raked through my purse and demanded an explanation for the contents though.

spanglydangly · 15/11/2019 17:22

So it's not that you're annoyed, it's that you don't believe him?

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