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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be annoyed at DP getting a load of cash out?

110 replies

nancyjuice7 · 15/11/2019 17:11

DP went out last night on a works do in the city centre.

Went out at 6pm came back at 3.30am with a pizza, slept on sofa til 7 then came up to bed.
Pretty standard no issue

I've went in his wallet to get money out for a takeaway he wants and found £175 in cash, £10 and £5 notes.

He rarely has cash and work do's are always paid for, drinks food ect all night. There's no need to take money out other than a taxi.

I've thrown a strop and made him show me his banking and he withdrew £200.

He's got no explanation and I don't know wether I'm being unreasonable in being annoyed and overthinking things?

OP posts:
MummyDummyNow · 15/11/2019 17:23

You seem very controlling and looking for a reason to be cross with him. What business is it of yours if it's his own money?

Wildorchidz · 15/11/2019 17:23

Are you always this controlling ??

MrsKoala · 15/11/2019 17:24

The cash machines round here also use a lot of 5s. The other day I got £100 in £5s Angry

I'm not sure I see the relevance of the fivers - do you think he purposely got them changed to pay for something he shouldn't? Lines of coke or something? Confused

PersonaNonGarter · 15/11/2019 17:24

OP - spell it out. What is the actual problem? Why are you annoyed about note denominations? Confused

frogsbreath · 15/11/2019 17:24

I've twice used a cash machine that's very slow and somehow pressed 200 rather than 20 quid and had to go into the bank and pay the rest back in. I don't recall any fivers in it but that's not impossible either.

So withdrawing money accidentally isn't impossible, but you seem to suspect he was planning something with the money. Do you think it was just to show off cash in his wallet? Or has he ever used drugs, thrown money away impressing people with free drinks, gambled?

Bellaxx8 · 15/11/2019 17:24

How is it odd?

Loads of cash machines chuck out £5 notes. Maybe the cash machine was out of £20s.

He also might of meant to withdraw £20 and pressed an extra 0 by accident.

The fact you even asked to look at his online banking is ridiculous. You clearly don’t trust him.

I would of told my partner to do one if he wanted to look at my online banking as I had more money on me then ‘allowed’.

Original poster
nancyjuice7 · 15/11/2019 17:25

Okay, the general consensus is that I'm being unreasonable.

I guess it's my time of the month and if he breathed wrong I would annoyed ha!

I do trust him in terms of women. I don't think he cheated.

Possible was planning on going to a strip club or to gamble but then clearly he's thought better of it as the money is still in his wallet and I'm a moron GrinGrin

OP posts:
Shoxfordian · 15/11/2019 17:25

Why are you annoyed?

WorraLiberty · 15/11/2019 17:26

It's his money he can do what he likes with it.

Umm...it doesn't sound that way, does it?

Perhaps he went to draw £20 out and hit the £200 button. I've done that before, completely sober.

Mrsjayy · 15/11/2019 17:27

If my husband went in my purse and counted the cash i had i would be livid wouldn't you be op ?
he maybe just likes cashnon him or he withdrew too much when drunk he had a pizza and has a tonne of change you going into his wallet is ridiculous.

YouFellAsleeep · 15/11/2019 17:28

YABU for having a “strop” and making him show you his banking!

Original poster
nancyjuice7 · 15/11/2019 17:28

Just to comment he's never touched drugs in his life. But most of his colleagues take coke at every work night out.
But again even if that was the intention at the cash point he's not followed through so I have no reason to be mooing cowBlush

OP posts:
Fuckenstein · 15/11/2019 17:28

If he 2as really drunk he probably intended to withdraw 20 and pressed too many 0s.

Don't get why you are annoyed though?

WorraLiberty · 15/11/2019 17:28

And being on a period is no reason to think your partner may have intended to go to a strip club Confused

Do you trust him in general?

Bellaxx8 · 15/11/2019 17:28

Well you obviously don’t trust him Hmm

Otherwise you wouldn’t of started a thread about this and thought it was suspicious and told him to pull his online banking up.

Original poster
nancyjuice7 · 15/11/2019 17:30

There's a difference between trusting him having an affair and trusting him going to a strip club

OP posts:
gobbynorthernbird · 15/11/2019 17:31

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

Wonkybanana · 15/11/2019 17:31

I've went in his wallet to get money out for a takeaway he wants

To be fair to the OP it sounds like there was nothing controlling about her going into his wallet. Then she saw much more money and he tried to snatch the wallet back.

However demanding to see his online banking is going a bit far. OP hopefully he's got the cash out to buy your Christmas present, hence the snatching!

Peanutbutteryogurt · 15/11/2019 17:31

Strippers, gambling or drugs!

Lauren83 · 15/11/2019 17:33

If he was taking coke I doubt very much he would have bought the pizza

WorraLiberty · 15/11/2019 17:33

There's a difference between trusting him having an affair and trusting him going to a strip club

No.

There's a difference between having and affair and going to a strip club but there's no difference in trusting that person isn't doing something (or intending to) behind your back.

WorraLiberty · 15/11/2019 17:33

*an

Original poster
nancyjuice7 · 15/11/2019 17:34

Absolutely was not controlling by going in his wallet.

He asked me to get cash out for the food he's ordered and I would be the person answering the door. As I've seen the amount of cash in there, he's tried to snatch it back. Which would arise suspicion in anyone.
I've then counted it and asked him where he's got this money from as he rarely has cash.

He then said look I'll show you my bank and I've said go on then.

Seriously people jump on the "controlling" and "abusive" marks far too quickly

OP posts:
runoutofideasnow · 15/11/2019 17:36

Fucking hell op I'd be furious if my dh counted money in my purse and demanded to know why I had it there.

He probably hit the wrong button on the cash machine.

theendoftheendoftheend · 15/11/2019 17:36

Seriously people jump on the "controlling" and "abusive" marks far too quickly

Now this I agree with.

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