AIBU to tell my lodger he needs to go home for Christmas?

[CupOfTeaAndSixBiscuits]

I have a lodger who has depression (recently started to receive care from the CMHT and GP) and he made a suicide attempt relatively recently. I have to encourage him to take his pills and not take his own life, in a nutshell. He's also got Asperger's, which can affect his understanding of some things, but he's still pretty social.

We actually get on quite well, and have become friends. It's just that I worry and have to keep an eye on him.

Since he moved out of the local family home in the spring, he literally hasn't visited once (though he has seen them, they come to us). They're not especially supportive with MH things, but they do care about him. He's talking about not going home for Christmas and just staying in the house by himself, which I don't think will be good for him. I'll be staying with my family in another city.

I've told him that he needs to go home for Christmas, essentially so that I don't have to worry that I'll come home to a corpse about him. He's resisting this. There's no written lodger agreement, and I have no actual way of ensuring he does go home.

Am I being unreasonable? Part of me says I am because he'll still be paying to be there just like I am, and part of me says I'm not because it's for his own good!

There is a certain arrogance about assuming that you know better than this man what Christmas plans are best for him.

This isn't someone who has anxiety not wanting to go to a Christmas party or an introvert being a bit bah humbug about a big family meal.

Given he's already tried to commit suicide it's not particularly arrogant to think him being alone for an extended period may be a high risk situation for him. Suicide tends to be lower at holiday times and the reason for that is thought to be because people are more likely to be surrounded by others.

is there a way to talk to him.sit down.no focing or confrontational.
reason out wehther he doesnt want to go because his family are part of his problems.if this si the case then no they might just send him spiralling.
and if not tell him you are worried and want him to e supported.so is there anywhere he could go to be with people.

@AmICrazyorWhat2 Just seen your comment to me. I wasn't posting about you- there was another comment a bit further back where someone said a family member had become controlling and manipulative. So yes, I know this man is not doing it intentionally.

@CupOfTeaAndSixBiscuits Have these comments helped you at all?

You need to decide what this set up is. Your first post called him your lodger/friend but later you describe him more as a friend who 'happens' to pay you for his room.

Which is it? Is there a chance you feel attracted to him and are emotionally involved? Are you close in age?

Do you depend on your lodgers for company or just money?

Whichever it is, you need in future to keep it a clear business arrangement OR accept your lodgers are potential friends who pay you.

Bottom line is you are not responsible for him. Your only responsibility to to provide his room for him and be civil and friendly.