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AIBU?

AIBU to ask if you would have had a child alone

130 replies

howsoontheyfly · 14/11/2019 18:06

Not for me - family member. Planning to have a baby with donor sperm.

OP posts:
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Am I being unreasonable?

AIBU

You have one vote. All votes are anonymous.

PurpleDaisies · 14/11/2019 18:08

You can’t possibly reduce this to an issue to vote on. Confused

So much is down to individual circumstances.

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howsoontheyfly · 14/11/2019 18:08

That’s why I’m asking if you would.

OP posts:
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WendyMoiraAngelaDarling · 14/11/2019 18:09

Knowing what I know now as a single parent of children with additional needs, after a nasty marriage break up, absolutely! Best thing I ever did Smile

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PurpleDaisies · 14/11/2019 18:10

That’s why I’m asking if you would.

Well, my personal circumstances are unlikely to be the same as your family member’s. It’s irrelevant.

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Villanellebelle · 14/11/2019 18:11

Yes but only as a last resort. Ie if I got to a certain age & hadn't met someone.

You need to assign an answer to your poll, for example yabu is yes yanbu is no

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Proseccoinamug · 14/11/2019 18:11

Yes I would

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JoJoSM2 · 14/11/2019 18:11

I wouldn’t. I only got broody when I met DH. Had I not met him, I would have enjoyed single life: hobbies, travelling etc
I’d also say it very hard work, you don’t get any respite + it’s very expensive to go it alone.

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kimlo · 14/11/2019 18:12

if I could support a child and wanted one yes.

Me now, not a hope I will be having any more with my partner never mind on my own.

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JustMe9 · 14/11/2019 18:17

No I wouldnt.

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itwasalovelydreamwhileitlasted · 14/11/2019 18:20

No. Just because she doesn't need a father for her child doesn't mean that a child doesn't need a father

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CycleWoman · 14/11/2019 18:21

It would depend massively on the amount of support I had from family and friends. I found life with a small baby very lonely and isolating (mainly because my little darling cried a lot and slept rarely). If my DH hadn’t been there to supply support I’d have been a dreadful mess.

But is so depends on the individual, the circumstances and the baby.

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IHaveBrilloHair · 14/11/2019 18:23

I wouldn't have chosen it, no, but I've raised Dd on my own since she was 6 weeks old and she's now 18.

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PicaK · 14/11/2019 18:24

If I had worked out support (emotional and practical) then yes I would.

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TraLaLaaaaa · 14/11/2019 18:25

I did. As a first choice, not a last resort. Would highly recommend. Smile

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ConFusion360 · 14/11/2019 18:25

No. Just because she doesn't need a father for her child doesn't mean that a child doesn't need a father

This.

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Ginfordinner · 14/11/2019 18:26

No.
DD had serious medical issues. I needed back up, which I got from DH. Without him I would have been housebound.

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greenlobster · 14/11/2019 18:26

Absolutely. I might as well have user donor sperm - havent seen ex-moron since I was 3 months pregnant and 20 years later I don't regret a thing :) Some things are much tougher on your own, but others far easier.

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CMOTDibbler · 14/11/2019 18:28

It honestly depends. Having had no family support (even emotional), and not being very good at friendship, then I wouldn't have chosen to have a child alone.

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CandyCaneLove · 14/11/2019 18:31

Hmmm before I had my DD I absolutely would have done. The first six months were a lot harder than I anticipated but I suspect I had PND. At the time I don't know if I could mentally have coped without DH but I suppose if you have no choice you have to. Now I would say, yes I would have a DC alone if that were my only option. I aches for a child and couldn't have been happy without one.

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ZingDramaQueenOfSheeba · 14/11/2019 18:33

No.

It only occured to me that I'd like kids after I met my husband.

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WorraLiberty · 14/11/2019 18:34

No

Does that mean I vote YABU?

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Ninjakittysmellz · 14/11/2019 18:35

My ex left when I was pregnant. It’s hard and it’s lonely, but I have never known any different and I wouldn’t change it for the world now.

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madcatladyforever · 14/11/2019 18:35

I didn't have donor sperm but I brought up my son alone and it was fine. I don't need a man.

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OrangeZog · 14/11/2019 18:35

Yes because of my circumstances but in a different situation my answer might be different.

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zsazsajuju · 14/11/2019 18:38

Yes. I’m a single parent and sometimes wish I’d just got a donor cos then at least I would have better genes

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