AIBU to ask if you would have had a child alone

[howsoontheyfly]

Not for me - family member. Planning to have a baby with donor sperm.

I did. First child was the result of a very short relationship. Second and third children came from an on/ off relationship where their father was never around much. Fourth child is my husband's. My life is less stressful and happier now I am no longer a single parent, but I'm glad I had my children when I did, rather than waiting. However I think it depends on the individuals. People cope differently.

A friend of mine did this. Good job, decent income, mortgage paid off.

I often look at her and think "You go this so right!"

Yes I would.

Am I the only one who doesn't know which vote is supposed to mean yes I would do it alone

No. But I wasn't keen on having children anyway. I had them because my ex wanted children.

Yes.

I would have. I always knew I wanted children and was really upfront with this when dating. I met dh at 26 and we had our first at 29. But if I hadn't I probably would have gone it alone by 32.

Christ no. If I could have another, I’d prefer it to be in a three parent family (if such a thing were possible!). Looking after DS is two bodies’ work, can’t imagine chucking another child into the mix.

Yes I would but only if I was financially stable and had a good support network around me.

If I could financially support a child alone and had plenty of good family and friends around me willing to support and help out, then yes. If not, then no.

I was brought up in a home where my parents were married before I was born and still married now. I thought that was how it was supposed to be.

BUT I spent too many years married to an abusive husband because I thought I'd be a failure if I left. And that I would be letting my daughter down.

I finally left when she was 2 and it was the best decision I ever made. It wasn't easy, it still has rough days, but we're both happier and my dd, who is 6 now, is a pretty awesome little person who hasn't suffered at all for being brought up by a single mum!

If it was the only way I could have child may be ,but it wouldn't be my first choice my youngest son has severe autism and learning disabilities and whilst he's lovely and I love him to bits it's hard work with two of us ,hats off o anyone whose on their own with a disabled child.

YES

Yes, because my ex left when I was pregnant and DD is now 22. Zero support from anyone - but I was very fortunate to have good career prospects so didn't need his money. Without that, and no maintenance, it would have been much tougher.

Yep, definitely.

I would have, although glad I didn’t have to.

I would have done this, as I was so keen to have kids, but now that I’ve actually had kids and know how hard it is, I’d never advise someone else to do it.

Only if I was late 30’s and had no other option.

I always knew I wanted children so settled down early. Being a single parent would be fucking hard and I’m not sure my mental health would cope in that scenario.

No. I don't believe it's fair on the child.

I don’t know.
If I was guaranteed to have the children I have now then yes without a hesitation.
Otherwise I don’t know.

No I wouldn't. I'd never have had children outside of marriage.

No. I really benefitted from DP's support, especially as I had a traumatic birth & PND. If I'd been a lone parent and had that to deal with, too, I'd most certainly had a mental breakdown.

Yep, always would have been my plan B. I'd have been naive and would have rude awakening no doubt, but I'd absolutely would have done.

It’s something I’ve unintentionally done (but then becoming a parent was very unintentional!), I personally like that I don’t have to answer to another parent. I can just do my think, bumble along and there’s no one else there to interfere.

No way. Far too much work for one person. And expense.