To buy most of my families clothes secondhand

[Rowrowboat]

I am very thrifty when it comes to clothing as I feel it’s obviously better for the environment and you can usually get much better quality clothes for much cheaper. It’s always been the way I’ve shopped and I’ve never really thought much of it. I’m by no means poor but I’d rather have the money in the bank or spend it on something else.

In the last couple of weeks I’ve had several negative comments about this. Firstly when I mentioned I’d brought 5 babygrows for £1 from a local charity shop for my youngest about how yucky it was that other babies would have worn them any maybe got poo in them!

Secondly when I was complimented on my secondhand but hardly used DMs, the person said they didn’t know how I could wear shoes that have been on other people’s smelly feet. And just now, my colleague saying they’d spent £100 on a Christmas Day outfit for their toddler granddaughter. When I said I couldn’t bring myself to spend that kind of money on clothes and that mine would be wearing her sisters hand me down, didn’t I want to buy something new for her instead of putting her in all of her older sisters clothes, which were probably secondhand when I brought them anyway? It felt like a real dig at me and that it was obviously something my colleagues had discussed previously.

I’d like to point out that me and my family are always well turned out and clean and it got me thinking, do people genuinely look down on people who buy second hand? And why do so many people think that just because somethings been worn or used by someone else, it’s in some way gross!?

We're really luck to have a great charity shop nearby. Have got some great bargains on toys (wooden or plastic so give them a wash and often good as new) and clothes.

Also got a few bargains on FB selling pages.

Yes money in the bank and to spend on other things etc

all scratchy through multiple washes

I suspect that poster who said this is used to polyester, which does go bobbly and scratchy after a few washes. Good quality cotton, wool, linen, cashmere etc get softer with washes, not scratchier!

I love finding second hand bargains. I got my son an Adidas jacket for £3.99 today, looks like it’s hardly been worn. Because my children are getting to the age where labels are important, i get quite a lot on Facebook marketplace or car boots.

Have you ever been to a nearly new sale? ( to the pp saying its bad) most is all good condition and lovely! How is that bad?

I think it's great when you can take advantage of 2nd hand, particularly for young baby stuff that is very lightly worn and more durable expensive garments like coats & jackets.

BUT, I am a bit about 2nd hand footwear. Leather shoes mould to your feet and gait, and are near impossible to wash. Feet sweat a lot so shoes can harbour a lot of bacteria, even when lightly worn.

I'm also a bit when people almost refuse to ever buy new even when it's near impossible to get what they need 2nd hand. A friend persevered trying to buy only second hand for her 5 year old son and this meant he was dressed in very heavily worn clothing quite a lot, as children that age are often very hard on clothes so what's available second hand is more limited and in poorer nick

In general, I am also slightly wary of the fine line between loving a bargain and enjoying good value for money, and being just a bit tighter than is pleasant. My two friends who are the most keen on rummaging charity shops etc are also the two who are very well off & remarkably ungenerous with it.Their love of second hand is closely linked with a personality around money that comes across as sort of graspy/greedy/hoardy for the sake of it. I find that trait rather unattractive.

I don't buy second hand really... I feel bad about getting bargains when I can afford not to, I feel like I'm taking away something from someone who can't afford it..... I donate a lot to charity shops but I never use them myself to be honest. I don't ever buy expensive labels for my baby though so I find clothes are super cheap anyway...

I think yabu to buy a new born second hand clothes but that's your call. I can't think of anything thats screams cheap more than dressing a brand new baby in some old baby grow you found in a charity shop that's probably been covered in all sorts of bodily fluids and all scratchy through multiple washes....what a welcome to the world that is! Especially when you can pick up a brand new one for about a pound at certain well known retailers! (child labour complaints here we come)..

Because obviously having any concerns about child labour is completely unreasonable. You sound like a Grade A fuckwit.

@doadear
It's quite common for people with enough money to think that the clothes in charity shops should only be bought by poor people. It's also completely wrong.

Charity shops are not there to provide cheap clothes to poor people. They are there to make money to support whatever their charity aims are. Large volumes of donations (as people become more environmentally aware) are not being matched by rising numbers of customers. Typically, a large proportion of donations are immediately sent for ragging because the stock in the shop does not turn over fast enough. Charity shops are closing nationally at the fastest rate for many, many years.

If more people do not start shopping in charity shops they will eventually not be there, as with everything else on the High Street that is unsupported. Please reconsider and start encouraging people you know to shop there, as well as donate.

YaNbu. I’m trying to be more sustainable.

I’ve always wondered how people managed to get lovely clothes (adult) from charity shops. I was hugely inspired by a thread in style and beauty.

I realised that I just quickly flicked through the rails without properly looking.

I made a concerted effort to sift through the rails and ended up with some gorgeous clothes. I looked for little sign of wear and on the nearly new/new/lightly worn end. It took me quite a lot of effort but was worth it. Best was a new TM Lewin shirt.

I also bought a knee length coat, dry clean only, didn’t like the collar. I machine washed it and it came up great. I’ll remove and refinish the collar to make it a round neck collarless swing coat. I’ll still buy new as well but I see it as a low cost way to expand my wardrobe.

I feel your pain OP. I buy a lot of second hand for myself and my children wear mainly second had clothes. I don't disclosure this information and whenever I receive a compliment on what my children are wearing or something that I am wearing I say thank you and I say I can't remember where I bought it from (if people ask where the piece of clothing is from because they want the same dress for their daughter or the same blouse as mine). People are shallow... Same as you I like to make my money worth and we can most certainly afford to splash our money on clothes but that is firstly silly and secondly bad for the environment.

People have gone bonkers about cleanliness. I bought 2nd hand cloth nappies for my daughter, just put them on a boil wash before using, no one's gonna die...

I have little understanding for people judging people who buy second hand. Unless you're rich and can afford to buy fancy locally made fair trade organic natural fibre stuff you will support exploitation of people and basically contribute to polluting or living space whilst giving money to some rich tax avoider if you buy new clothes. Nothing to be proud about.

YANBU at all! I buy baby grows and vests new for DD but I get the majority of her clothes second hand. I think people tend to think of scruffy, stained clothes when they think second hand but I've got some great items with the tags still on or barely worn.

I used to live in a big city and the charity shops always had great bargains in. I live in a small town near the coast now that's mainly full of OAP's and it's just not the same! Many of the charity shops do have vintage sections though (and I mean real vintage presumably donated by old folks or their family, not a 90's Levi jacket). I swear our charity shops are like museums

It's 50/50 split between new clothes and second-hand clothes. I love going to nearly new sales, as I have found some absolute bargains for my DD and DS. Charity shops are also really good for certain items that high street stores don't have in DD's size e.g. nice quality skirts. My parent's never went to charity shops as they associated them with poverty and I used to think the same until I went to university and met my DH, whose family regularly shopped in charity shops for bargain toys, clothes etc.

Since DD started school, it's been quite handy that the school run the odd uniform sale as it's saved us a small fortune and has been really convenient (uniform shop is a 2 bus journey and they don't deliver if you order online). A close friend has made the odd comment about this but I don't pay much attention to it, as DD is still smartly dressed for school and you couldn't tell from looking at her that she's in second-hand/nearly new uniform.

It's quite common for people with enough money to think that the clothes in charity shops should only be bought by poor people.

Not here! But I think the statement is generally true. Easily 1/3 of my wardrobe and 1/2 my DCs wardrobe is second hand. Just in this last week I’ve picked up my 2 winter party tops in charity shops. Both still had the shop label in them. Last year our household income was well into 6 figures..... I do sometimes think I get odd looks when I mention my charity shop bargains.

I love hand me downs, 2nd hand clothes and bargains. Back in the day me and my friends used to say how much we cost!

Charity shops aren't there so people in poverty can use them - they're not food banks. They're there to make money for charity. Anyone can use them. I earn well but would rather save my money - why buy a £50 dress when you can get a nicer one in great condition for a fiver?