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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To buy most of my families clothes secondhand

168 replies

Rowrowboat · 14/11/2019 12:28

I am very thrifty when it comes to clothing as I feel it’s obviously better for the environment and you can usually get much better quality clothes for much cheaper. It’s always been the way I’ve shopped and I’ve never really thought much of it. I’m by no means poor but I’d rather have the money in the bank or spend it on something else.

In the last couple of weeks I’ve had several negative comments about this. Firstly when I mentioned I’d brought 5 babygrows for £1 from a local charity shop for my youngest about how yucky it was that other babies would have worn them any maybe got poo in them!

Secondly when I was complimented on my secondhand but hardly used DMs, the person said they didn’t know how I could wear shoes that have been on other people’s smelly feet. And just now, my colleague saying they’d spent £100 on a Christmas Day outfit for their toddler granddaughter. When I said I couldn’t bring myself to spend that kind of money on clothes and that mine would be wearing her sisters hand me down, didn’t I want to buy something new for her instead of putting her in all of her older sisters clothes, which were probably secondhand when I brought them anyway? It felt like a real dig at me and that it was obviously something my colleagues had discussed previously.

I’d like to point out that me and my family are always well turned out and clean and it got me thinking, do people genuinely look down on people who buy second hand? And why do so many people think that just because somethings been worn or used by someone else, it’s in some way gross!?

OP posts:
malificent7 · 14/11/2019 19:43

Clothes

AdriannaP · 14/11/2019 19:46

I judge people who spend £100s on outfits for babies and toddlers!

OP you are sensible and fashion is a big environmental problem too.

user1480880826 · 14/11/2019 19:48

We should all buy second hand clothes a lot more. I do it for my kids but not for myself.

nobodylikesacockwomble · 14/11/2019 20:01

God I love second hand clothes, people who spend an absolute fortune on new stuff for their kids knowing it'll only get one or 2 wears (£100 on a xmas outfit?? 😱) are a bit screwy in my opinion! 😂
And who care if you buy second hand babygrows, washing machines are wonderful things!

sheshootssheimplores · 14/11/2019 20:11

Pretty much everything my family wears is second hand and we look fab Grin I’m always complimented on my clothes.

woodhill · 14/11/2019 20:18

Yes, always took advantage of NCT sales for dc and passed on their clothes to other dc.

More fool the person paying £100 for a baby outfit.

Handrag100 · 14/11/2019 20:42

I think yabu to buy a new born second hand clothes but that's your call. I can't think of anything thats screams cheap more than dressing a brand new baby in some old baby grow you found in a charity shop that's probably been covered in all sorts of bodily fluids and all scratchy through multiple washes....what a welcome to the world that is! Especially when you can pick up a brand new one for about a pound at certain well known retailers! (child labour complaints here we come)..

However tbh if you were -that- concerned about the environment why would you even be having a baby?! Does the already over populated world really need another human to eat up the diminishing resources and contribute to climate change?! No not really...

On second hand shoes i would say they are also a big no no and it shows a lack of care over your child's foot development for those who can afford new, properly fitted shoes. I mean if you're comfortable why exactly are you skimping on your child's footwear?

I also find it quite offensive how some people make out that it's people in debt or with new money that spend big on baby clothes. It smacks of middle class, yummy mummy snobbery to me.

What i detest the most is when some of my middle class yummy mummy 'friends' actually try to sell me second hand clothes...'you can have a bag of clothes for a tenner...' omg really?!

I mean seriously?! Oh or those mums who put baby grows up on facebook for 50p or some such amount...how do people have the time for this?!

Now my child is out of the yucky baby stage i happily accept and gift nice hand me downs to friends for free...those friends who havent tried to sell me things!

I also think some people just have too much time on their hands and have made a cottage industry out of this whole second hand thing...which is fine but not for everyone.

Most of the time i haven't even got time to browse charity shops so i buy online...it's quite amusing/ shocking to think that some people might be making rude remarks behind my back when my child turns up in a new outfit and saying it's because my parents were poor and im new money. Wow!

ClientListQueen · 14/11/2019 20:48

Multiple washes usually make things softer. Like well used bed sheets - I have one on my bed that's about 15 years old and it's so soft
But then I'm also wearing a second hand bra, because it was barely worn and a bargain. For bras in bigger sizes especially Polish brands, there's a lot of buy/sell groups

Handrag100 · 14/11/2019 21:02

If you have little money or can't find a bra in your size then i can understand how a second hand bra might be useful. I cant comprehend why anyone not falling into those categories would want to weae second hand underwear! Just goes to show how different we all are.

SDTGisAnEvilWolefGenius · 14/11/2019 21:10

I bought second hand clothes for my boys when they were little - charity shops and NCT Nearly New Sales - it made sense because, when they are little, babies and toddlers grow out of their clothes before they can wear them out, so you can get some barely worn stuff. However, it did get harder to find good quality second hand stuff as they got older - I guess that older children are harder on their clothes, and they don’t grow so fast, so have more chance to wear their clothes out.

I buy second hand for myself - I love getting a bargain, and knowing I have lessened my environmental impact is good too.

I also mend clothes, so they last longer.

Rubyupbeat · 14/11/2019 21:10

The people that look down on those that wear secondhand are usually the 'all fur and no knickers' brigade...kitting their kids out in chavvy looking designer stuff, you know, the oversized motif Ralph Lauren gear, or those that had nothing as a youngster, and only had jumble sale stuff. People with money don't tend to care and you will find most decent private schools do an amazing trade in secondhand uniform .
Well done you, for not grueling the toxicity of the clothing trade, ruining the environment and exploiting the very poor!

Rubyupbeat · 14/11/2019 21:11

Fuelling

woodhill · 14/11/2019 21:29

That's true Ruby about private schools.

Dd uses loads of 2nd hand baby clothes and equipment that she has been given. Had a new pram and car seat.

She is very environmentally aware and does not use disposable nappies

DateLoaf · 14/11/2019 21:48

If all of us insisted on new everything all the time, the environment would be even more fucked than it currently is. So it’s great that people are reducing, reusing and recycling including with clothes, and bringing their kids up to value doing that.

EntropyRising · 14/11/2019 21:56

I've been on Ebay since 1999 (!) .

It's only through MN that I came to know that some look down on second-hand. People are weird.

Sandals19 · 14/11/2019 22:25

second hand reusable nappies, oh cmon that is disgusting, im not trying to be horrible but ''who cares if another child has poo'd in them''?? It's really gross

There's a massive trade in them.

Partly because they're quite expensive new.

Partly because they're used with liners so (theoretically) not much is getting on them.

Partly because people learn (of it gets past the liner) that their baby will crap all over them in two seconds flat. And they instantly go from pristine to having been crapped on and washed. Shit is shit. Do you think your shit is more hygienic than others people's shit. Shit washed out of a nappy, if any remains, does not vary from household to household.

Sandals19 · 14/11/2019 22:28

Had a new pram and car seat.

I actually prefer used prams and car seats (as long as they are safe of course) because the smell/off-gassing/chemicals in the new one (travel system) we got would have given you a headache, that can't be good for anyone let alone babies.

Sandals19 · 14/11/2019 22:29

It was from a prestige brand incidentally.

FriedasCarLoad · 14/11/2019 22:47

I can't think of anything thats screams cheap more than dressing a brand new baby in some old baby grow you found in a charity shop that's probably been covered in all sorts of bodily fluids and all scratchy through multiple washes....what a welcome to the world that is!

Was your baby born in hospital? If so - as a PP pointed out - your baby was probably wrapped in a used blanket, by a midwife in a used uniform, born into used sheets etcGrin

You sound pretty defensive about a suggestion of a class link, and then make one yourself Wink

ViciousJackdaw · 14/11/2019 23:23

Maybe not so much children's clothes but the majority of adult clothes we buy brand new from shops have been tried on by at least one person already.

I don't know if this is true for anyone else but the clothes I donate to the charity shop are the ones I simply haven't worn much, if at all.

JacksonPillock · 14/11/2019 23:26

Honestly what difference does it make to an adult or a baby if clothes have been worn by someone else? If they've been washed, they're now clean, right? I mean, if washing your clothes doesn't make them clean, then you're wearing dirty clothes every day already!

123Dancewithme · 15/11/2019 00:49

I don’t buy secondhand clothes for my DS, but I will keep his clothes to pass down to a second DC if we have one.

Thehagonthehill · 15/11/2019 00:57

My DD had a lot of charity shop stuff and hand me downs and most of this was passed on to others after.
We got some really good clothes and non of it pink or lilac as it was predominantly when she was little.Most clothes for small children have barely been worn anyway and the baby poo comment is nuts.
My DD has Preloved DMS,all that joy without having to break them in yourself😁.
So hold your head up and let others comments wash over you.

Fuzzyspringroll · 15/11/2019 06:38

I've been getting lots of DS's clothes second-hand from when he was very little. I think I even got some before he was born.
I work in a very expensive area. Most people earn quite a bit more than I do but DS goes to nursery where I work. They go outside a lot and he needs appropriate stuff. Buying second-hand means I spend a lot less on good quality brands. I recently got him a winter coat for £16, which would have cost 10 times that when bought new. He also got some snow boots for £10, which cost about £120 new. We could afford it but I don't see the point. He is 3 and it's just going to get muddy. He's going to grow out of it within a year. It keeps him warm and dry, so that's the priority. I couldn't care less whether someone else has worn it before.

KellyHall · 15/11/2019 06:45

The only things I insist on buying new is underpants and socks!

The environmental impact of the clothing industry is catastrophic and most new clothes aren't good quality either so you and the planet are better off buying quality, second hand stuff.

Other people will sometimes make negative comments but other people are stupid, they lack ecological awareness, can be short-sighted and believe things like single use plaatics are disposable!

You're setting a great example for your children in what you're doing, well done 👍