To buy most of my families clothes secondhand

[Rowrowboat]

I am very thrifty when it comes to clothing as I feel it’s obviously better for the environment and you can usually get much better quality clothes for much cheaper. It’s always been the way I’ve shopped and I’ve never really thought much of it. I’m by no means poor but I’d rather have the money in the bank or spend it on something else.

In the last couple of weeks I’ve had several negative comments about this. Firstly when I mentioned I’d brought 5 babygrows for £1 from a local charity shop for my youngest about how yucky it was that other babies would have worn them any maybe got poo in them!

Secondly when I was complimented on my secondhand but hardly used DMs, the person said they didn’t know how I could wear shoes that have been on other people’s smelly feet. And just now, my colleague saying they’d spent £100 on a Christmas Day outfit for their toddler granddaughter. When I said I couldn’t bring myself to spend that kind of money on clothes and that mine would be wearing her sisters hand me down, didn’t I want to buy something new for her instead of putting her in all of her older sisters clothes, which were probably secondhand when I brought them anyway? It felt like a real dig at me and that it was obviously something my colleagues had discussed previously.

I’d like to point out that me and my family are always well turned out and clean and it got me thinking, do people genuinely look down on people who buy second hand? And why do so many people think that just because somethings been worn or used by someone else, it’s in some way gross!?

I'm a huge lover of secondhand clothes, I enjoy nothing more than browsing in a charity shop. The clothes that I've been complimented on are always my charity shop finds. My children also wear some second hand clothes. I make sure I donate too.

I hadn’t considered the impact ones upbringing would have on this. And I’m not boasting about not being poor, I think it’s relevant in context and it’s not something I’d say in real life. I did not have an affluent upbringing and my parents lived far beyond their means and got into a huge amount of debt to try and keep up with the Joneses so that definitely has moulded me into the polar opposite.

There is nothing wrong with not wasting money no matter how much money you have though.

I also don’t bang on about where my clothes are from all day long! If someone compliments me I tell them and I told the person about the babygrows as she was moaning about the price of baby clothes. I was trying to be helpful...clearly not!

I’m glad there’s a lot of likeminded people on here 😁

Hmm ... Well I daresay there’s no actual shortage of charity shop clothing - but I would be inclined to judge someone who simultaneously boasted of being able to afford new clothes and buying, cheaply, second hand clothes that might be more needed by parents with considerably less money to clothe their children.

I absolutely don’t judge, but it’s taken me a lot to get into buying second hand. Holdover from being a young teen and being teased for having to wear jumble sale clothes I guess.

Having said that - I bought six pairs of Next jeans for my boys the other week - £20 all in. Fit perfectly and genuinely couldn’t see they’d been worn.

It’s a no brainer really when I realise that new jeans are nearly £20 a pair!

I wouldn’t buy shoes second hand even if barely worn though. It grossed me out a bit aside from the foot moulding stuff.

I’m thinking theoretically OlaEliza ...

I tend to think of charity shops as existing primarily to meet the needs of people who are struggling to buy good quality clothes full price and prefer to avoid fuelling the Primark economy. Not just parents clothing children, most of my extremely sparse student wardrobe was second hand.

But if there’s just one warm, wool children’s coat in a given shop I would rather the well off person did not buy it - so that it could be available for a poorer family.

Meh I bought second hand reusable nappies. Washing machines do a great job so who cares even if another child pooed on it.... People are really wierd about stuff.

Generally speaking I think poorer people tend to be more conscious about buying new clothing than the more affluent. I think they view it as a status thing to have brand new and expensive brands so will often get into debt for it.

I have bought almost all of both my and my DC’s clothing second hand for years. It saves money and is better for the planet so I really can’t see why anyone wouldn’t want to. Washing machines expel any ‘germs’ . I like to buy good brands rather than primark and supermarket stuff so I buy Joules, Boden, John Lewis etc second hand and have done this for years. Nobody knows it’s second hand, a lot of it arrives looking brand new.

tend to think of charity shops as existing primarily to meet the needs of people who are struggling to buy good quality clothes full price

That''s where you're going wrong! Charity shops are there to raise money for their chosen cause. End of story.

Same here @bonbonours. And I've sold and passed some on. There is a huge secondhand market for reusable nappies.

I once found a brand new looking Joules coat for my DD in a charity shop for £2, I was over the moon.

Yanbu, I love buying second hand.

I wear 2nd hand everything except underwear and shoes. I love finding designer bargains and I feel like I am helping the environment and I hate fast fashion.
My teenage daughter who is studying fashion loves to go charity shopping with me. My son on the other hand, will wear nothing but brand new and hates charity shops and wouldn’t be seen dead in it!

People can have odd ideas about second hand clothes. I don't see an issue just some positives-saves you money, charity makes a few quid and better for the environment.
My DM was horrified by a top I bought DD from a charity shop for £1.50; I only told her as she asked where I got it. It was M&S and looked new. She was fussing about how they had similar ones in stock for just over a tenner. I ignored her.

Other than the odd item both mine have been in second hand stuff. Got given a ton of things which did one then the other.

I buy a load of my stuff off ebay.

It's only brand new once.

@skiaddicted
I'm sure that thing about shoes is put about by the shoe shops. Shoes don't mould to the shape of your feet and then set in stone do they? So if they can mould to one person's feet they can also mould to another person's feet! My kids have worn tons of second hand shoes and their feet are fine.

Op

You commented on your colleagues decision to blow £100 on an outfit. So you shouldn’t get sniffy if others do same to you!

@bonbonours second hand reusable nappies, oh cmon that is disgusting, im not trying to be horrible but ''who cares if another child has poo'd in them''?? It's really gross

Not being sniffy, clarifying some misconceptions. Although you’re correct, I did comment and I still think it’s frivolous to spend £100 on an outfit for a toddler. This colleague happily comments on various aspects of my life so I felt justified.

I personally wouldn't go into a charity shop for my DS's clothes.
I wouldn't feel comfortable with putting him in clothes I had no clue who has wore them. I know they can be washed but that's just how I feel.
I wouldn't judge anyone for buying things in a charity shop though.

Don’t tell people!

I wouldn’t wear second hand underwear or shoes (personal hang ups) but for anything else, why not? If you buy used you can spend less money and get a better product. If you’re paying £30 for a second hand dress rather than £200 for the same quality new then you can buy a new pair of shoes to go with it and still save ££. If you can get a pair of NYDJ for a third of the retail price why wouldn’t you?

For DC, second hand generally means the clothes have survived several washes without fading or bobbling and food stains have come out. It’s like a quality mark!

I have never heard this shoe stuff before. Currently wearing my £10 Timberlands. With socks obviously. They don’t feel like they’re moulded to she shape of someone else’s feet!

@househunt1

Have you seen what a secondhand motherease uno goes for on ebay these days? There are massive FB groups just for selling and swapping reusable nappies.

The thing is, they're designed to be pooed in and washed. They just need to be well washed after each use.

Also, lots of people who use reusable nappies are fairly eco conscious, so they like secondhand.

I do this, OP. I cannot bear that new stuff is being shipped around the world when there's perfectly good stuff available right here. I do still buy some things new, but only after looking at second hand. I've also set up a regular local Repair Cafe at which volunteers extend the life of clothes, toys and electricals by doing basic repairs. (They're all over the country).

As my friend who lectures in Fashion told me the other day, you and I are ahead of curve. We are the trendsetters on the cutting edge of circular fashion. Keep up the good work.

People spending £100 on a toddler outfit doesn’t make me judge the spending. It does make me think where do people find toddlers that can wear £100 outfits for more than 10 minutes without ending up covered in something?

@househunt1 as @beatricethebeast says there is a huge market for second hand nappies. The whole point is they get pooed in, cleaned, and reused. It's actually not disgusting. What is disgusting is leaving all those pooey nappies in landfill for 100s of years because you can just pretend they've gone away because you can't see them.