To contact dog breeder and ask him not to sell puppy to my sister?

[BJsHair]

My sister (25) is autistic but very, very immature for her age (she still plays with teddy bears and watches cartoons). She lives alone and is not coping well. Does not work, barely leaves the house.

She gets obsessions. An example of her obsessions was the time she got obsessed with Ford Ka cars. So much so that she actively tried to buy one despite the fact that she doesn’t (and never will) drive. She just wanted it to sit in and decorate. She had no idea about insurance or road tax ... it was basically just to be a giant toy.

Anyway, I’m a dog breed enthusiast and my sister has now become obsessed with the same breed. I put years of research into the breed before I bought my first dog, organised dog training and socialisation classes before I got her and spent hours and hours on training. I’d had dogs before but not this breed. The breed is NOT a first time dog owner breed. In the wrong hands they can be dangerous. My sister is terrified of my dogs, has never owned a dog before yet is adamant that she is buying a puppy from this litter ... she’s going to pay her deposit on Friday. I’ve tried talking her out of it and my mum says I’m being selfish saying “why is it ok for you to have one but not her?”. They just don’t understand. AIBU to go directly to breeder and tell him not to sell her one?

Inviting someone for a dog walk is not the same as showing someone compassion. That's an odd thing to say!

How do you think your sister will feel and react when she goes to collect her puppy and finds out she can't because you have called them? She would surely just go somewhere else till she got one. Sounds like the only thing you can do is help and support her really.

Maybe find some gruesome ddog attack stories with your breed (some for most breeds out there I imagine ), ask your dm does she want dsis a statistic?
I have 2 of the breeds advised not to choose and would never recommend one to a novice owner.

Ah- sorry - cross post.

Dories are lovely, but you are right - they do need a handler who knows what they are doing with them.

Is it a bulldog?

just saw, they are bug dogs for a beginner

I think contacting the breeder behind your DSis’ back is overstepping the mark. She’s an adult, not a child. You’ve done what you can do.

Yanbu. I can’t believe your Mum thinks it is a good idea

Can you persuade her to get a smaller dog? One that doesn't require as much training or specialist knowledge.

I know when I eventually have a puppy, it'll be a smaller one as it's my first...she needs a one that will be happy at home a lot of the time.

If they’re a good breeder then tell them but that won’t stop your sister from finding another breeder.

Please tell the breeder as they will not wish the puppy to be supervised by a vulnerable person who may not deal with its welfare needs. It would be better explained in person, as they may have been told your mother is going to be the owner. You may wish to say that the dog is at risk of maltreatment, and that you are telling the breeder because the authorities may come back to them if there is an investigation. No breeder wants animal welfare officers or the police at their door so it may deter them from selling to your sister. If they continue with the sale, please contact the RSPCA and report the breeder as their professional standards are clearly lacking.

As a dog owner with a disability myself, it is hard work to take care of their needs properly so you are doing the right thing in trying to prevent the sale.

OP may be over stepping the mark but it's the puppy that will end up paying for this folly when it's rehomed or pts because it's bitten someone.

Dogs are not toys or experiments.

Doberman's are not for inexperienced owners regardless of ability. They need boundaries, socialisation training and exercise.

poor dog, and poor neighbours when the barking starts, as it will.

'vulnerable' is indeed the word - and very concerning. Please stop this anyway you can.

Show her funny videos of small, fluffball types, facebook fan groups of them, and then take her to meet some puppies of those ones.

It does sound like this breed won't be a good match for her, - I'm guessing Mastiff or Rotty? and I looks like she'll give the dog to you after a few weeks, which is very unfair and distressing for the dog. Your sister does sound like she'd benefit from a little companion though.

It would come across better if you had a bit more compassion for your sister
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I think the OP has both her sister's best interests, and the dog's best interests at heart. Trouble is that I can't see how contacting the breeder will help, as the sister will presumably just find another breeder, if this one refuses.

OP, I think you will probably have to let her make this mistake, and stand ready to rescue & rehome the puppy in due course. Sympathies.

To those suggesting maybe smaller breed would be good for her sister, the OP says she barely leaves the house, so the poor animal would most probably never be walked.

I think you need to speak to the breeder, I agree that this isn’t the type of dog she should be getting especially a puppy. If she’s serious about getting a dog then she would be better with a older rescue dog and a breed that doesn’t need as much exercise, either a small dog, a greyhound or even a older staffie. I know many people with ASD that care for dogs but you probably know your sister well enough to know she’s not going to train and look after a puppy. Maybe the breeder can make up an excuse such as “really sorry but we have decided to keep this puppy and all the others are reserved”?

you need to find something else for her to obsess over so she can move over to the next thing.Accept that this is a part of who she is and try to direct it into a direction that wont cause to much trouble.

show her videos of cool cake baking or some other fancy looking hobby see if you can get her attention away from the puppy

I think you should tell the breeder too. For the puppy’s sake.

I think she will find another breeder and this time they won’t tell the OP. I also agree that a Doberman is a dreadful breed choice for an inexperienced owner, and any dog at all is a dreadful choice for someone who rarely leaves the house.

I think contacting the breeder behind your DSis’ back is overstepping the mark. She’s an adult, not a child.

Usually I would agree but there is another living, breathing animal's welfare at stake here who has no one else to advocate for it, so in those circumstances I don't think the OP is BU.

I would absolutely tell the breeder.

Poor pup!

it will never go but one way and I think you'd feel much much worse keeping quiet.

Agree with others to try and get her a new obsession.

Because there are other breeders...

I don't know anything about dogs but I just did a Google images search on European Doberman puppies, then on the adults, and the difference is pretty startling - from cute little scamps to huge, barrel-chested animals with powerful bodies. The obvious worry is that she doesn't realise how big and potentially dangerous this puppy is going to get. And I can imagine that a dog like that will not react well to never being walked, if your sister doesn't leave the house.

I think you have a duty to both her and the dog to do what you can to put her off this idea, by whatever means. If, as you say, she loses interest after a month or so, perhaps you only need to redivert her energies elsewhere until it passes.

I don't think suggesting a smaller dog is the way forward either, since it sounds like any breed will end up being neglected or given away, and that's just an unfair on a chihuahua as it would be on a doberman.

Could you persuade her to get a miniature pincher instead? It would be far more manageable and your mum could help.

What about a miniature pinscher? Would need less walking and probably not too much for your mum to handle if she is planning on taking most of the responsibility?

@Fuckenstein great minds