To think we did nothing wrong?

[sadaboutlife]

I went away for the weekend with a guy I'm seeing and a friend and her boyfriend.
My friend was driving and me and the guy I'm seeing in the back.
It's a pretty new thing and we were chatting all the way home in the car.
She kept say ..can you both shut up talking your doing my head in.
We kept quite for a bit and then sometimes forgot and spoke again.
She was really annoyed
Did we really do anything wrong here?
She is actually angry that we didn't sit in silence

Well, thanks for explaining everything, OP.

This is the 3rd thread I’ve seen from you in the last few days. The first one was complaining about the amount of petrol money your friend wanted for doing the driving for the trip. The second was about how your fuckbuddy doesn’t want a relationship with you, is shagging other women, but how you talked and laughed till you cried all weekend.

You’re not being a good friend at the moment. Don’t let your infatuation with this (not very nice) man lead you into being neglectful of your friends.

Of course the driver can't expect everyone to sit in silence. If she asked you to be quiet for a bit for a reason, such as headache/listening to satnav/concentrating on directions that's one thing, but "doing her head in" is quite controlling. In her place I would have given the previous reasons for a few minutes quiet or put radio/music on.

Odd responses on here atm

If I was the driver you would have been dropped off at the nearest train station.

She asked you to be quite for a reason.

Your friend sounds odd. Who tells their friend to stop talking because they’re “doing their head in”? Is she a 13 year old?

Were you drunk?

Just asking because sometimes if people are drunk and you are sober it’s incredibly annoying the drunken shit they come out with 😂

HeddaGarbled

Hit the nail on the head.

I would find a demand for silence terribly weird and rude!

Related anecdote: we once went on a family holiday to an Arabic country and had a long bus ride from the capital to our town. My mum and auntie were placed behind the driver and were talking animatedly in English for a good half hour before he pulled over and demanded of my Arab dad that they be moved. Apparently the talking was fine but it was driving him mad that he couldn't follow what they were saying

Seriously some of you shouldn’t be driving if it’s such hard work.

Some of you shouldn't be allowed on the road with such a flippant attitude. 3 HOURS is not such a short drive for someone who is not used to do it frequently. people completely underestimate the level of concentration it takes - and we see the result with accidents and bad driving everywhere.

YOU might be driving cross-country every 2 days and be perfectly at ease, but it's pretty sensible for someone who is not doing it so often to concentrate more.

If grow-up passengers are not happy to be quiet, there was an easy solution, be dropped at the first bus stop or train station and make their own way - and piss off the other passengers on a coach or train instead of a driver.

Apparently the talking was fine but it was driving him mad that he couldn't follow what they were saying

it makes sense, I am amazed he lasted a whole hour.

I frequently tell my kids to ‘bloody shut up’ on long boring drives, probably even short ones. Sometimes incessant noise just drives me mad and concentrating on driving is more important. I wouldn’t take it as anything other than that.

Also I think it’s weird she asked you to be quiet, but clearly there’s an underlying issue to be discussed at another time. What’s not ok, I think; is being asked to be quiet and carrying on talking repeatedly!

Have you considered the possibility that your voice or your laugh or your bf's might be really annoying or just too loud?

Three hours is a very long time to put up with non-stop noise of any kind. Was your conversation really inane and potentially annoying?

I think you were unreasonable to carry on at the same rate and volume when she was begging you for a bit of hush.

Did you consider that driving is a demanding and responsible task and three hours is too long to go without a break? If you want lifts, be a considerate passenger. Better still, shell out for insurance cover and spell your friend in the driver's seat. At least be aware of the road and go quiet when she's choosing her exit, changing lanes or reading signs.

Have you asked your friend what she found annoying about the talk from the back seat?

I hope you all chipped in for petrol, at least!

A demand for silence is weird and rude, which suggests either the op and boyfriend were being bloody annoying and it wasn't just normal chat - or the weekend had gone badly and the friend was pissed off about it. Especially given friend was cheerful on the way up.

OP: can you drive?

And was the last bit of the return journey through a city?

I'm with the driver a happy and singing on the way up, with the city behind me. Needing to concentrate for the last hour on the way back, as it's after driving a couple of hours.

I think the driver gets their way. Because they are the ones who, if they make a mistake could maim or kill someone.

If not happy with this driver, you do not need to accept lifts in future.

I kind of get it because this happens with my kids when sometimes they are incessantly chatting and my head has just had enough of the noise, but I would not say that to an adult.

She was rude and you were probably very annoying. New couples tend to ignore others outings and it's still too he forced to listen to continuous conversation which you are not part of

• others around and it's terrible to be forced to...

I don't drive but I'm sure you do need to be alert and concentrating when driving at all times (Hence why I don't drive, not sure I'm up to that!) My dads been driving most of his life and has driven lorries and emergency vehicles and multiple people have commented on what a decent, careful and safe driver he is. I was in the car with him the other day. Twice a cat bolted into the road needing a sudden stop. Once a car suddenly pulled out in front of him - sudden stop. Once a person decided to cross the road at the last second right in front of us! - sudden stop. Each time was a "OMG" moment. All the same 20 minute drive! If my kids had been in the back endlessly chattering on what if they'd distracted him and he hadn't stopped in time? Like I said - non driver, but I always try and make the kids be quiet in the back if we're offered a lift with him.

Even if it's not about the driving/concentrating sometimes I'm in a queue long enough to wish the people behind/in front would shut the hell up!

She’d had enough of you by the journey home and couldn’t hold her temper any longer

1. if you're not used to doing long drives and require silence to concentrate don't offer to take other people in your car.

2. I've never met anyone who needs complete silence to drive or expects that from their passengers. It denotes a total lack of experience and I wouldn't want to be in a car with someone like that.

3. if you don't feel well and requires quiet when driving, SAY SO. It's called communication and a little goes a long way. There's no need for rudeness.

4. the OP's boyfriend is not the issue here.

@sadaboutlife why don't you just ask her over for a coffee and just ask her what that was about? You're friend was clearly upset so just ask her what the issue was. It's not always about right and wrong but you do need to ask yourself if you should have just been quiet.

she'd had enough of you by the journey home Might have hit the nail on the head.

I read your other thread about your new "bf" who has several women on the go. He sounds like a bit of a twat sorry. Maybe she was tired of listening to you ingratiating yourself, fawning over him knowing that he's just stringing you along?

Were you talking in that baby way that some couples do? If so yuk

We’re you talking shite? Some people just waffle on and on and on about absolute nonsense. It is exhausting to listen to.

Lelly My thoughts exactly. If the driver is involved in the conversation, then fine, but if the passengers are just chatting shit, then that is very distracting and wearing. My kids went through the talking rubbish non-stop phase - drove me nuts.
Other people flirting - yuk.
Have a chat and find out what is really going on.

This would have been an auditory nightmare for me.

If there is constant babble it actually hurts my head.