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AIBU?

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Original poster

To think we did nothing wrong?

152 replies

sadaboutlife · 12/11/2019 19:56

I went away for the weekend with a guy I'm seeing and a friend and her boyfriend.
My friend was driving and me and the guy I'm seeing in the back.
It's a pretty new thing and we were chatting all the way home in the car.
She kept say ..can you both shut up talking your doing my head in.
We kept quite for a bit and then sometimes forgot and spoke again.
She was really annoyed
Did we really do anything wrong here?
She is actually angry that we didn't sit in silence

OP posts:
Sodamncaughtinthemiddle · 12/11/2019 20:46

Was her partner in the car? Was she wanting to concentrate?
More info needed really

Bodear · 12/11/2019 20:48

Did you try to include her in the conversation or just ignore her? The latter would be rude.

DotBall · 12/11/2019 20:48

YABVU.
I had a woman prattling in my ear for 2hrs on a trip once such that it gave me a migraine. It didn’t clear despite meds and I ended up having to stop and throw up by the roadside on the way home. I managed to offload her onto a colleague so at least I could drive in peace then.

cathpinc · 12/11/2019 20:49

When you say it's 'a pretty new thing' does that mean you were giggling and snogging and calling each other FunBunnyBoy and SnugglePig for HOURS ON END?

Be honest.

Pilipilihoho · 12/11/2019 20:50

Mindless chuntering is tedious at any time, but horrendous when you are tired and need to concentrate. Asking you once to keep quiet should have been enough - three hours is a long time for anyone to endure people wittering on with no real purpose (you were getting a lift, you weren't on a date). Sorry, but I think you were in the wrong here.

lottiegarbanzo · 12/11/2019 20:51

Why would there be a 'right and wrong' rather than preference and respect? It reads as though you're trying to pick a fight. That's the opposite of trying to understand, or caring about your friend's feelings.

Your friend was driving, her car? She was doing you a favour. It doesn't matter if you don't understand her conversational or music preferences. You go along with them because she's the driver - if you're a polite person.

It's a pretty new thing and we were chatting all the way home in the car So you were flirting and erm 'establishing your relationship' in her car, in front of her. She essentially said 'shut up or get a room, I don't want to hear this?' Is that it?

I'm pretty sure I wouldn't want to share a long journey in close proximity with you either.

Do you want to keep her as a friend? For her to be there for you if this relationship fails?

NeedAUsernameGenerator · 12/11/2019 20:51

If it was distracting her then it was distracting her, not everyone finds it easy to concentrate with background noise.

lottiegarbanzo · 12/11/2019 20:53

Were I her I'd have asked you to pipe down and turned up the music. MY choice of music.

BetterEatCheese · 12/11/2019 20:53

Were you talking very loudly?

category12 · 12/11/2019 20:55

Did the weekend go well from your friend's point of view?

Were you grossly loved-up in the back?

Belfield · 12/11/2019 20:57

Usually when you are getting a lift you fit in with what the driver wants.

SarahAndQuack · 12/11/2019 20:59

Agree with @lottiegarbanzo - it's not really about right and wrong and you sound as if you're trying to pick a fight.

Since she was doing you a favour, surely you should fit in with what she wants with a good grace? If she finds it easier to drive without conversation, it's not that hard to go with it for a few hours.

I also agree that if you were excluding her from conversation (whether her boyfriend was in the front or not), then you were being very rude.

MrsElijahMikaelson1 · 12/11/2019 21:00

Sounds like you were rude and inconsiderate when your friend (who was doing you the massive favour of driving you home for 3 hours after what was probably a boozy busy weekend) has to ask you several times to shut up because she was probably tired and needed to concentrate so you didn’t end up being scraped off the motorway. You should apologise.

HopefullyAnonymous · 12/11/2019 21:04

The replies are genuinely some of the oddest I’ve ever seen on MN!! I’m sorry but who are these people who expect their passengers to sit in silence for three hours? Surely you all just chat together?

HappyGoLuckyLuLu · 12/11/2019 21:07

This sounds like a comedy skit... car share with a slight difference.

OP if you weren't canoodling or being otherwise inappropriate this was really odd from your friend

itsgettingweird · 12/11/2019 21:07

Was it because you were chatting and excluding her?

Where was her boyfriend at the time?

I like to drive with minimal distraction but I'd have laid down any terms beforehand. For example I like radio fairly loud on long journeys.

DappledThings · 12/11/2019 21:08

I’m sorry but who are these people who expect their passengers to sit in silence for three hours? Surely you all just chat together?

I think that's as equally odd as there being two passengers and them choosing to both sit in the back like a taxi. OP has not been back to confirm if this is the case or whether the friend's boyfriend was in the front.

BackforGood · 12/11/2019 21:09

If this is the case

So you were flirting and erm 'establishing your relationship' in her car, in front of her. She essentially said 'shut up or get a room, I don't want to hear this?' Is that it?

Then you WBVU and I don't blame her

If you were talking generally, in a conversation which the 3 of you were equal participants and was about general and not personal stuff, then the driver WBU.

The fact you've gon to the trouble in your OP to talk about how new the relationship is and how you were getting to know each other implies it was the first.

category12 · 12/11/2019 21:09

I do think the expectation of silence would be odd - so odd that it suggests there's more to it than they were just chatting.

VardySheWrote · 12/11/2019 21:11

The replies are genuinely some of the oddest I’ve ever seen on MN!! I’m sorry but who are these people who expect their passengers to sit in silence for three hours? Surely you all just chat together?

but they didn't sit in silence for 3 hours.
The driver asked for a bit of peace and quiet, was quickly ignored, and had to ask again and again. Apparently they were "chatting all the way home".

That is so rude and inconsiderate. Maybe if they could have shown a bit of respect and be quiet for 5 or 10 minutes, the driver would have been able to relax and start chatting again.

or maybe she was tired and struggling a bit and really wanted to concentrate.

I have never seen adults disregarding the driver that way!

BarrenFieldofFucks · 12/11/2019 21:12

I'm assuming the partner was in the front too? Either way, I'd have thought the whole car chatting together would be more polite than the two of you just talking to each other.

saraclara · 12/11/2019 21:13

If I was driving for three hours and two people were talking/flirting constantly when I was trying to focus, it would drive me nuts. And obviously it's rude to chat for three hours without involving anyone else in the car.

Makesmilingyourbesthobby · 12/11/2019 21:21

My DSis, around the first year of passing her driving licence would need quite in the car to concentrate on driving, if I was in the car with her she would often say to wait a minute guys meaning be quite for a little while and I remember afew times she needed to pull over when there would be kids in the car and they wouldn’t quieten down so could be this you was distracting her from driving and she was unable concentrate on the road

bongsuhan · 12/11/2019 21:26

The driving is a red herring. If you need to concentrate so hard on driving that other people talking in the car is too distracting, then you really don't have enough routine and shouldn't be driving.

(with some obvious exceptions for particularly difficult moments in traffic and finding your way )

EmmiJay · 12/11/2019 21:27

Bet she was jealous her boyfriend wasn't giving her that kind of attention.😏

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