Therapy helps very few people.

[feelingkrap]

For traffic here.

Do you think it improved your life?

My therapist keeps talking of self-compassion. I have become angry towards people, fostering victim mind-set. I have started to feel unsure if therapy is for everyone. I am sure it helps people with more serious mental illness like depression, bpd, etc.

I feel I just I waste an hour a week and my hard earned money and makes me more angry and all I do is brood later. It's very expensive in London, and I am thinking of dropping therapy and doing a hobby coruse instead.

I have tried more than one therapist, so won't try more.

Please tell me any of you were able to turn around life into satisfying, happy and fulfilling one.

I got the analysis bit for my issues, and know the reasons for ages, but no progress further.

I feel it's a waste of time if you are already a thinker type.

Please tell me your experience. How old were you?

There are lots of different types of therapy, some more appropriate for some things than others. I have ocd, I had intensive mindfulness based cbt and it honestly was life changing. I was 26-27. I’ve also had person-centred counselling to work through my feelings when I had just had a baby in a new country and my grandfather died. But the counselling wouldn’t have worked for the ocd and vice versa. But if it’s not working for you, take a break, it can be very heavy going.

I'm having psychotherapy and it has been so very good for me. I feel as If my entire mindset is slowly changing. Something my therapist said is that I need to be open to receiving help.
I have alot of trauma to work through and we are slowly doing it.
I tried 3 therapists before I found one that I clicked with. She just gets what I'm saying and I think that's so crucial in making the process work.

It's working well for me. I'm mid 50s and work in a profession where I know a lot of the theory but need some space to,work through some trauma. I saw a couple of therapists before I ended up with this one.

It's very expensive. Unless you have private health insurance or a good job that provides this.

I had neither and spent my birthday and Xmas money on 4 sessions. Good at the time but not enough.

All the assumptions on mn that therapy is easily accessed are wrong.

Thanks @bigshiplittleboat and @OneDay10. I am glad that therapy worked for you both.

I took ERP for OCD in past and it worked, and I was fine for a few years without any medication.

I had a lot of stress in the last few years, and I have complex trauma- neglected parenting (bordering abuse) and then trauma in adult age. Now I have been depressed, anxious and have ptsd like symptoms for several months.

I am seeing a therapist who gets what I am saying and comes across empathetic but I don't see any progress in me, nor are there any practical guidance.

I have also seen psychotherapist and tapping therapist in past. Psychotherapist made me frustrated because she had no input and tapping therapist was not good in any way.

Perhaps it's me or my issues are too complex.

Also, realised my OP is confusing, I meant to say therapy made me angry and victim-minded.

Therapy has hugely helped me, mostly in taking ownership of my own life and the situations I found myself in. It had the opposite effect - I was the 'victim' but therapy helped me see how I was contributing to situations and that I had the ability to change them (even if was just by removing myself). The old chestnut that you can only change yourself, not other people An easy soundbite but it actually required a lot of work with my therapist to live this way.

It has hugely helped with my self-awareness and I would always recommend therapy to anyone. Like PPs, however, I had to kiss a couple of frogs before I found one that I 'clicked' with. Also there were times that I did leave the session upset or angry but that's because I needed to deal with something and therapy is something that works over months and years, not in a single session.

If therapy made you feel angry and victim minded, then why not just say that and title it in your post?

Why the generic rebuttal of therapy as a concept?

It's classic Mumsnet - "this hasn't worked for me, so it can't work for many people in the real world right?"

FYI I am not a therapist but I have been in therapy.

I agree with you @ssd.
In my case, talking about my issues make me angry with people.
Have you heard of art therapy? You can check in your local surgery. Mine does not provide it.

www.mind.org.uk/information-support/drugs-and-treatments/arts-and-creative-therapies/accessing-arts-and-creative-therapies/#TheNHS

Therapy helped me immensely but it was with a clinical specialist and it cost a lot of money. On the other hand I’ve known of people who’ve trained as therapists who charge a lot less but whom I wouldn’t trust to help me with a crossword, let alone my mental health.

It all comes down to finding a therapy and a therapist that works for you. IME, it meant someone who was highly trained with a lot of experience in a specialist area.

@GinDaddy Sorry my title offended you. I wanted to write an AIBU title as otherwise my post would have been moved to mental health.

It's entirely my opinion based on my experience and from many complaints I read on Internet forums. I know I can be completely wrong. Just want to hear people's experience. Did you have any therapy yourself?

I am nineteen months into what i expect will likely be years of therapy. I'm having CBT and ERT, and in all honesty its totally changed my life. Ten months ago i was suicidal. I had planned which bridge to jump from and when. The only thing that stopped me was the thought that my children would have to live with that legacy for the rest of their lives. I couldn't do that to them. And i was so angry at them for that.

Here i am though. Living. My life has changed immeasurably. I have a future, things to look forward to. I don't want to die anymore.

My therapist has been one of the main causes of this. She's helping me realise that i have reasons to live. That i am worthy of living. That my anxiety is lying to me and I am enough.

Yes, she's expensive, but i couldn't wait the three years i would have been on the NHS waiting list for.

Sometimes you just have to give it time.

I have had a lot of therapy.

My last lot I really wanted to dig deep and sort my shit out. It hurt, I cried and cried after each session, I gradually became more 'resilient' to talking about my past. I had to do really wanky things like hold a bear and pretend it was myself when I was little and talk to it. It was so cringy. However, I threw myself into it and when it finished I felt better equipped to deal with my past.

6 months after therapy I came off my anti depressants and haven't been back on them since (3 years ago).

It took 3 goes of therapy over the years to get to that point, I'm sure I'm still a bit messed up but I'm better than I was.

I had therapy in many forms throughout my 20s and I would not recommend it myself . It hugely de stabilised me . and became a very dark time in my life .

Im sure it works for some . But it wasn't for me.

I sort of agree with your 'thinking type' analysis. I spend so much time in my own head dissecting everything, there isn't much that a therapist can tell me that is any kind of revelation or that I haven't explored a million times on my own.

I also struggle with CBT. Like when you are told to identify that you are catastrophising or future-predicting - I just think yes, I know that already. The problem is that telling myself that and rewriting it more positively still doesn't stop it or even really help. It just feels like a homework exercise where I jump through the required hoops, get the marks and now I feel shit again.

I’ve had 3 rounds of CBT, counselling and mindfulness. None of them even touched my issues.

I’ve had 2 goes of EMDR. Life changing.

Many years ago there was a fascinating, very long thread on here about the pros and cons of therapy, which has a surprisingly low success rate I recall. I’m trying to search for it but can’t think of anything unique enough in it to search for! Really good thread

I absolutely loved CBT and really think everyone should speak to a therapist at some point

But appreciate some people have much greater issues which can’t be easily fixed

It worked for me, it positively changed my life. I had a lovely counsellor who I clicked with straight away. I had so many issues from my neglect as a child. It explained everything that I couldn't understand and I'm not angry about it anymore. I also was able to stop feeling guilty for being disappointed with my parents.

I had a breakdown at age 32 (after being diagnosed bipolar with ptsd around age 28 as a result of childhood sexual abuse). I was very lucky and was put on a medical trial and I received 26 weeks of intensive therapy with a fully qualified psychologist and psychotherapist as part of their study. It saved my life. It was highly focused on self compassion, self soothing and realising that I had control issues. I learned that my anger was a biproduct of un-met expectation ( as is an awful lot of other peoples anger). They gave me the tools to understand why I was reacting and then showed me how I could alter my mind set.

They also supported me by suggesting I consider going drug free whch is something my NHS psych said would never happen. They gave me lots of reading to do so I could make an informed choice. It took me 6 months of persuading my psych to support me but i got off the horrific anti psychotics and apart from the odd short course of sedatives for mania I have been drug free. I am a huge fan of mindfulness and I also craft/paint/sew when I feel I need too and that outlet helps me hugely.

I really am a different person, I have grown massively as a person. But the generic free nvq3 therapist that does cbt/talking therapy has never done anything for me at all. Despite being on a low income I still make sure I have a few private top up sessions with a very qualified therapist I love every 18-24 months. It works for me and its the best investment I have ever made in myself.

You don't say how long you have been having it for. Short term counselling has never worked for me. It might make me feel better in the short term but nothing changed.

I've been with my current counsellor for a year now and it's only in the last 3months that I've had proof it is working. We have worked out where my issues come from and now have been working on overcoming them. About 6months in I felt like giving up but then I turned a corner.

I'm on counsellor no 3 and its been very helpful so far. Think its so difficult to find a) the right person with the right chemistry to help you get your barriers down but who you can trust and be vulnerable with b) someone who's approach and therapeutic methodology is what you need at the time. Its such a lottery

To he honest. Once a week isn't enough.

You need to practice those skills daily or (if you have the money) see a therapist 3 - 4 times a week.

Think of it like going to the gym. You are not going to lose weight if you go to a gym once a week and eat crap during the week and not following exercising regimes during the time.

You need to retrain the thought. The brain is a muscle and you must follow through with what the therapist is saying and applying it in your daily life. Once a week is not enough

I attended the Priory following a diagnosis of PTSD, I have had regular therapy sessions ever since - approx. 10 yrs.

It truly changed my life & is the most important thing I spend my money on now.

I truly believe everyone would benefit from some sort of counselling with a qualified, suitable therapist.

OP - what you're saying sounds familiar.

I felt very similar about a lot of the therapeutic approaches I tried – I was very clear on WHY I was f^%ked up, but felt no further forward on what to do about it (this was after a couple of years, though – I also went through the 'angry with everyone' stage and that for me was a part of the process – I NEEDED to get angry with everyone and fully take on the 'victim' role for a while in order to set that part of my grief aside and step forward)

In the end, two approaches 'worked' better for me (and I'm curious to know also what 'it working' would look like for you – do you know exactly what you're expecting / hoping for?).

One was telling my therapist exactly how I was feeling ABOUT the therapy with him, so we could build that into the process, and the other was working with much more embodied approaches.

Turns out, the body doesn't lie – and you can't out-think your body!

"To he honest. Once a week isn't enough."

I got results from going once every two weeks! It just helped to be able to say certain things out loud.