Nursery - how much of an issue would this be for you?

[itsfrompenzance]

Looked round a very nice nursery last week, with lots of outdoor space, great activities and a relaxed vibe. We are interested in this particular nursery because of its physical setting (loads of countryside and a Forest School). I also really liked the owner and the manager. The behaviour of the children was generally good.

BUT

One of the children is the owner’s child. This child was quite forward during the look-around and my own child got a bit of a fright from them; although the behaviour wasn’t bad or anything, a small toy got thrown about and hit my child.

My concern is whether this child might be allowed to dominate the setting. My instinct says it might be an issue, given how the dynamic seemed on the day.

Please vote YABU if this wouldn’t bother you or if, in your experience, it hasn’t been an issue in similar situations.

Please YANBU (and comment if possible) if you would go elsewhere.

It wouldnt bother me as my child attends a nursery and the managers children all attend too. Plus a few members of staff have their own children in as well. I'd suggest another look around, it's likely managers child was showing off and wanting attention be it good or bad. Good luck :)

Give it a trial and trust your instincts.

My mother's first teacher's daughter was in her class and decades later she would talk about the unfairness.

My ds was on swimteam ....and unfortunately was tops in his strokes that made him better than coach's son. Ds was switched to backstroke.

I couldn't figure it out until the assistant coach posted times one day. Ds was consistently No.1 and Coach's was 2.

My bf is a teacher and wouldn't ever play favorites.

Try it. You'll find out quickly.

My DS is in the same daycare class with the centre manager's son. He is more confident than some of the other children because it's almost a second home to him and he knows all of the staff and children very well so sometimes his behaviour is a bit more demanding (they are only 2.5/3) but he definitely doesn't get preferential treatment. My son is there full time too so they have become very good friends and they are always spoken to and disciplined etc in the same ways from my experience
If you got a funny vibe from it I'd try another visit and see how it feels. You may have just caught him on a grumpy day but I can see why you might not want to risk it if it seems to be a trend.

I would never have considered this a problem when my eldest was at nursery stage.

However...they now both go to a school where just about every teacher (primary) has children in the school. The inevitable nepotism and overlooking of bad behaviour is rife. If I ever had another I'd reconsider a setting where children related to staff were.

I mean maybe it's just my DC's school that's like this but it's very eye opening when you look out for it.

It’s not ideal but many parents work in schools because it fits with family. I think it is better to send your child to the preschool you like with amenities he will enjoy and be sure to instill resiliance, confidence and social skills at home. You could pick another preschool - miss out on the lovely outdoor space - and find the same problem, or just delay having to deal with it until another juncture (school). Try as any teacher might, there is always some disparity in the classroom at some point. I think it is important to flag up perceived issues promptly with concrete examples then the school can deal with it.

We’ve been in this position. I would never go to another nursery where the owner’s kids are in situ ever again! Absolute nightmare and not ever again. Our child came back with bruises and bites regularly and the owner blamed other children until I saw it for myself. Fortunately by that time it was time to leave nursery and go to school.

Having taught my dc in a class full of other little children, my own were the children that were last to be chosen for anything, heard read, helped with work etc! I think most parents who teach their own children would hate the thought of people thinking they were given extra attention or privileges to their dc.

Go with your instinct