Friend owing money, don't know what to do

[Sparklfairy]

I lent a friend nearly £1000 when he was stuck last year. He was working FT and told me he would pay me back weekly with his paycheck...

In 15 months he's paid me £120.

I've just lost patience with him and told him so. He's retaliated telling me that he will pay me back x total, and y per payday. Apparently I'm unreasonable for saying this paltry amount is an insult.

Despite working FT, he has an expensive weed habit aibu to insist he pays more to clear the debt and do without his luxuries (!) until he has?

Who cares whether he likes it or not? He lost the right to any consideration once he decided to piss you about. There's a very easy answer if he doesn't relish the thought of going to court and it's entirely within his control. I'm afraid to say that this isn't about a friendship being wrecked because there was never a genuine friendship in the first place. You need to get any thoughts about you somehow being a rubbish friend right out of your head.... you've shown him more than enough patience and he's treated you with contempt for your trouble. This man isn't a friend, he's a user and you need to draw a line right under this pseudo friendship. The writing was on the wall when he used your money for a stag do of all things... he well and truly saw you coming didn't he. It's about time you took back some control. Fuck him, the little shit.

That doesn't specifically say it is between 2 private parties though. A private agreement between two friends is a civil matter rather than a legal one. There was no legal agreement between the 2 parties. No contract. A friend has given another friend money. Unless the borrowing friend voluntarily gives the money back there is no way to enforce it, and he is not going to be fined or sent to jail for not repaying.

Ask a solicitor for proper legal advice. I know in my jurisdiction the small claims court would not entertain this claim.

Yup. Take him to court.
You want the money back,
He doesn't want to pay.
He needs a kick up his arse.

People do it because people say oh well, I will just write it off. Doesn't matter how much or little you have to pay it back by any means necessary.

I'm actually going off the phrase only lend what you can afford.

I'm thinking more, don't borrow if you cannot pay it back. That puts the focus plainly in the hands of the cheeky fuckers, rightfully where it belongs.

The other person gets their feelings hurt. Tough shit should have considered this when the money wasn't paid back. That's on the borrower.

It will wreck the friendship though as dickhead will not like that

How in god's name could you think he'll be a friend after this anyway? He is deliberately stealing from you. Why do you want to be friends with someone like that?

Don't get it.

www.stepchange.org/debt-info/owing-money-to-family-or-friends.aspx

More advice for you op about taking the friend to court and the steps.

Once you send off that first official letter, that hopefully will give him a kick up the arse.

It will wreck the friendship though as dickhead will not like that grin - WHAT FRIENDSHIP?

He is no friend. Friends don't act like that. He OWES you money, and is refusing to pay you all of it. This is no friend, he is a con-man who knows an easy mark. Unless you come back and say he's been there for you in your darkest hours, lends you money, gave you a bed when you were homeless and fed you and your children when you were hungry - he is just a bloke you met, and who tapped you for money the following day!

Say after me - he is not a friend! Seriously - you have a really skewed idea of what a friend is. It's not just 'someone you know'!

It will wreck the friendship though as dickhead will not like that

There is no friendship to wreck.

He has never regarded you as a friend, just as a soft touch.

Can you embarrass him in front of mutual friends and ask him out loud for everyone to hear when he is going to pay you back the money you lent him last year and repeat any chance you get. The friendship is gone so there is no point in trying to save it.

You just know on a thread like this, that at some point the OP will express a desire not to affect the friendship. You didn’t disappoint OP!

There is no friendship. Keep minimal contact and keep chasing. Eventually you’ll have your money back, or he’ll stop paying you (almost inevitably the latter, but you might get another £100 back first...) If you ever do get it all back, ditch all contact then.

What exactly about the friendship did you want to keep?

As others have said.
Only lend what you can afford to lose
Dh’s friend asked him for £2000 which he promised to pay back in three months.
Dh lent him £500 and it was agreed that the’friend’ would pay within one month.
This was two years ago.

he texted me a few days after we met pleading poverty for a tenner for petrol. I helped him out but obviously it has escalated since then

You do realise, don't you, that the tenner was just a test to see if you'd be good for even more money in future? And I hope you realise that there are probably others he's doing this to?

He's very far from being a "friend", so you might as well try the small claims route if you want to ... but I really wouldn't get your hopes up

It will wreck the friendship though

What friendship?
He know you for 5 minutes before coldly ripping you off, & will always pay his dealer instead of you.

Small claims!!!

*It will wreck the friendship.
*
What friendship ?
This user decided to steal take £1000 from you.
Friends don't do that.
If you do gave friends/ acquaintances in common, do tell them what he's done.
He's hiding his nastiness because he believes you'll do nothing.
Do show him his actions have consequences

I love the idea one poster had of getting burly mates round to relieve him of his most expensive belongings in lieu of what he owes you

That's why op needs to read the links.
She does that or charges interest she won't get a penny back and could find herself in trouble.

If struggling with the wording, there are loads of free templates you can use online that will point you in the right way of sending the message, legally, pay the fuck up or I will drag your ass to court.

A private agreement between two friends is a civil matter rather than a legal one. There was no legal agreement between the 2 parties. No contract.

You're misinformed. Yes, it's a civil rather than a criminal matter, but the courts deal with civil matters all the time.

And a verbal contract is still a contract. If I ask to borrow money and you agree on the basis that I pay you back that's a legal contract. OP has texts from this so-called friend that acknowledge the debt, which makes her case pretty cast iron.

The other side of one of the cases I won tried to say what you did about contracts, TellMeWhoTheVilliansAre. The judge said very crossly that the email exchange made it clear that he'd asked me to do something, I'd agreed for a certain sum and that was a legal contract.

OP, you don't need a solicitor. The whole point of the Small Claims Court is that people can navigate it on their own. I represented myself three times and won all of them. You just have to be scrupulously truthful. The judge will have seen it all before and you'll have no problems.

Tbh from what you say I suspect this guy simply won't turn up at court, in which case you would win automatically.

in which case you would win automatically.

And what happens then? I'm genuinely interested. Thanks for clarifying the small claims side, I honestly didn't know it dealt with civil/personal claims.

But if the OP wins by default, or even if he does show up and OP still wins. How is it enforced? If he still refuses to pay do bailiffs get involved?

Yes, OP can then get bailiffs in to get the money off him, or seize goods to pay for it.

The whole process I posted have everything needed to know. CAB really do need to update their info. There are probably lots of people in the same situation really do think the same because of how it's worded. Even though it mentions people, a lot of the talk is around the business.

As with like any case. If the ops wins and he goes away she can go for a ccj, not just bailiffs.

Even if she had one text about the loan that's more than enough. Do the legal way, and even though you might not get a penny back, he's been marked and publicly. Harder to tell mutual friends it was a misunderstanding, or never happened. The judge told you to pay up you freeloading tight ass.

There is no limit to the amount of self justification people have for not paying back money.

Never a borrower or a lender be...

I can’t imagine lending someone that amount of money if i wasn't sleeping with them

Even then I don't lend. Can end up getting fucked in more ways than you were expecting 😆

Why on earth would you lend someone this money that it sounds like you can barely afford yourself.
I’ll never understand posts like this and you are worried about ruining the friendship. No ones this daft surely

I sometimes read posts and think if they are created by @mumsnet, can I have a job?

I sometimes read posts and think if they are created by @mumsnet, can I have a job?

I think that regularly. Especially "popular" threads where the OP seems to keep on giving and then disappear. Generating plenty of traffic with people coming back to hear the conclusion.

@Namechangeoflife nice