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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Friend owing money, don't know what to do

131 replies

Sparklfairy · 10/11/2019 22:18

I lent a friend nearly £1000 when he was stuck last year. He was working FT and told me he would pay me back weekly with his paycheck...

In 15 months he's paid me £120.

I've just lost patience with him and told him so. He's retaliated telling me that he will pay me back x total, and y per payday. Apparently I'm unreasonable for saying this paltry amount is an insult.

Despite working FT, he has an expensive weed habit Hmm aibu to insist he pays more to clear the debt and do without his luxuries (!) until he has?

OP posts:
BlackCatSleeping · 10/11/2019 22:45

Sorry, I missed that he was paid weekly. How much is he proposing to pay you back?

Original poster
Sparklfairy · 10/11/2019 22:45

GabsAlot I don't need a 'contract' - I have numerous texts stating what he owes me

OP posts:
RaininSummer · 10/11/2019 22:49

Crikey OP. I think you have no chance of getting this money back since as you only knew him for a few days, he didn't really fall into friend category. He was just someone who met you and thought to try their luck. He won't have a conciense about it.

Candle1000 · 10/11/2019 22:50

I doubt he’ll pay you back - anyone that has to ask a virtual stranger for a loan has obviously run out of people that they do know to help them.

GreyHare · 10/11/2019 22:50

He is not your friend, and I doubt you will ever get your money back.

NeckPainChairSearch · 10/11/2019 22:51

I wouldn't bother referring to him as 'a friend' anymore OP. He's really not. Friends just don't do this to each other.

SusieOwl4 · 10/11/2019 22:52

if you have texts then I would try small claims court . So first text him and say you want a repayment schedule now or you are going to take further action. Print out all your screen shots and then if he does not pay you can do small claims court on line . It does not cost much and worth a try I would say .

Therebythedoor · 10/11/2019 22:55

A county court judgement affects his credit record. Now, his credit rating may be shot to pieces already but a search by future potential lenders will show the debt and whether it has been settled.

Have you got any texts or emails where he refers to the money he owes?

Merryoldgoat · 10/11/2019 22:56

You won’t get it back.

It’s a lesson to learn I’m afraid.

Write it off, be glad it wasn’t more and never ever lend what you can’t afford to lose.

TellMeWhoTheVilliansAre · 10/11/2019 22:58

You can be damn sure you're not the only one he owes money to. People like him move from pot to pot (no pub intended!). He owes €000s. To more than just you. The ones who are shouting loudest will get repaid first. Or nobody will ever get repaid. I've known 2 addicts in my time who were clever about asking for a small loan here and there.

Good luck getting your money back. I know you think it's cheeky him setting the terms, but that's exactly what he can do. He has the money. It's up to him when he pays it back. You can stamp your foot and demand, but you can't actually go and physically take the cash.

lioness88 · 10/11/2019 23:00

Take him on judge Rinder.

Tellmetruth4 · 10/11/2019 23:04

The friendship is dead so you have nothing to lose by taking him to county court. You have texts from him admitting he owes you the money.

highheelsandweathercocks · 10/11/2019 23:04

You loaned him money for a stag do and a computer? Why?!?!

Sorry OP, you're not getting that back. As a PP poster said. You won't be his only debt.

SheSaidHummingbird · 10/11/2019 23:17

Another 'friends and money don't mix'....

You were incrediblty generous in lending in the money, but I'm afraid these situations never end happily. Totally understand that it's a signifcant amount of money to write off, but I'm not confident you can recoup the money without a contract.

BlackCatSleeping · 10/11/2019 23:25

I wouldn't personally dismiss him paying it in installments as if you do get a court order, they would also say installments. It depends on how much he is proposing. Fifty quid a week would be reasonable. Five pounds a week, not so much. You do need to be the squeaky wheel to get him to pay up though. Lots of texts and reminders every week to make sure he doesn't forget. Many years ago, I lend a friend money. In the end she did pay it back at 200 per month and we never spoke again. The friendship didn't survive but I did get my money back.

Freddiefox · 10/11/2019 23:37

Write it off and blocked him, then walk away

Ginfordinner · 10/11/2019 23:40

How does he deserve the term "friend"

If he has a weed habit I doubt that you will see the money again.

TatianaLarina · 10/11/2019 23:42

Just write it off OP and chalk it up to experience. You won’t get it back now.

midnightmisssuki · 10/11/2019 23:44

How long did you know him before lee ding him the money? I highly doubt you’ll get it back. Sorry Op.

LionelRitchieStoleMyNotebook · 10/11/2019 23:51

Two words, judge Rinder. Apparently itv pay the settlements, so your friends might even be on board.

ILearnedItFromABook · 11/11/2019 00:06

There is absolutely no way I would ever "write it off"-- partly on principle, but also because that's a lot of money to let go for nothing. Certainly not just spare change!

Then again, there are very few people I'd ever loan even £100 to, tbh, and they're all family.

Greenwingmemories · 11/11/2019 00:13

The problem with the contract is if you didn't agree the payment terms. So he could say I'll pay you £1 a month, unless you've agreed (ideally) that it will be paid by x date.

I'd mentally write it off but continue to try and get it back. But realistically he sounds an absolute arse.

Ginfordinner · 11/11/2019 00:14

I wouldn't want to write off such a large sum if money, but if you lend it to someone with a drug habit I think it is unrealistic to expect it to be paid back. Given that the OP barely knew this person before she lent him the money it increases the odds thst she won't get it back. I think he took advantage of her and has no intention of paying her back.

MesmorisedByTheLights · 11/11/2019 00:20

I once lent a friend around the same amount. I had to write it off when it became obvious I wasn't going to see a penny.
15 years on, I see it as a cheap price to get rid of a freeloader.

MesmorisedByTheLights · 11/11/2019 00:23

Do you have a couple of bulky male friends? Send them round to liberate £1000 worth of electronics from his house.

Do not do this, OP unless you have bulky male friends who like being arrested for burglary related offences.