Friend owing money, don't know what to do

[Sparklfairy]

I lent a friend nearly £1000 when he was stuck last year. He was working FT and told me he would pay me back weekly with his paycheck...

In 15 months he's paid me £120.

I've just lost patience with him and told him so. He's retaliated telling me that he will pay me back x total, and y per payday. Apparently I'm unreasonable for saying this paltry amount is an insult.

Despite working FT, he has an expensive weed habit aibu to insist he pays more to clear the debt and do without his luxuries (!) until he has?

All you can do really is learn from this. Proper friends don't ask to borrow huge amounts like this, he should have got a loan or gone to his family.
I think I would makes things as difficult for him as possible and would take him to the small claims court etc. I still don't think you will get it back but this will cause him worry etc.
In future just be prepared to give a bus fare amount to a friend in difficulty. Then if you lose that its not such a big deal.

I thought you meant you met up for a drink and he asked for money and you have known him for years. if you lent money a few days after first meeting that screams out he's a conman.

I think you’ll need to write this money off and look at it as an expensive lesson. Never a borrower or a lender be.

Yep you#ll not be paid back, he's a shyster. Is there some way you could steal something of his to sell in lieu?

Send him a message so it's in writing 'X I lent you £Y back in Zmonth and the agreement was it would be paid back by (whenever). Why has this not happened? I need that money in my account in 2 weeks'.

If it doesn't happen, small claims court. Just make sure you have that in writing so he can't dispute it.

There's an old saying about "a fool and his money are easily parted" and sadly OP, you're the proof. It amazes me how often this sort of thing crops on MN and despite all those threads of people in the same position as the OP, and everyone saying "only lend what you can afford to write off" or "never lend, but give if you can afford to" these threads still pop up.

Small claims if you can, then stop being so gullible.

These solicitors will write an initial letter threatening court action will be taken if payment not received within 7 days and they are very successful, its £10 plus vat. www.thomashiggins.com/letter-before-action-or-late-payment-demand.html

I feel for you ,I think you have learned a lesson here really ! Obviously its easy with hindsight to say never lend any money .But at the time you trusted your friend to pay you back ,and he has misused your good nature .YANBU to insist he cuts back on his luxuries ,but you cant force him sadly ! If you use the small claims court then you still have some fees to pay as well. Probably have to write it off or accept drip drip payments .

Sorry to sound goady @Sparklfairy but Never a lender nor a borrower be. This mantra has served me well since being ripped off in the past by people who I thought were mates. When it comes to lending/borrowing money, you really see people’s true colours. For the sake of your own MH, you may have to write the money off and go NC with this person who clearly isn’t your friend.

He is NOT a friend, and never intending being a friend to you.

You know now that he saw you coming (never ever lend someone you DON'T KNOW money!) so as it stands at the moment he is just some bloke who owes you money.

Take him to the Small Claims Court.

DO NOT allow him to get away with telling how much he will repay, or in what instalments. i take it from his text that he intends to repay you, say, £800 in monthly £10 instalments? Or similar?

What a prick. And you need assertiveness classes to spot when someone is tapping you.

Do you have any mutual friends who can put pressure on him?

Otherwise, if you make it clear you intend to pursue a small claim it might work. To get an attachment of earnings to enforce any judgement his employer would have to know about the debt - he might not want that. If he owns TV, laptops, furniture, car, bailiffs can also execute a warrant by seizing goods to the value of the debt. Obviously all court action involves fees and is a pain. Also do you have anything to prove the debt if he denies it? Court action is often most effective as a threat. The reality can be more complicated..

'Lending' a grand to someone you had just met for something as futile and unnecessary as a stag do abroad was, let's just say, not the best judgment call, but OP has learned it the hard way.

The friendship was hardly ever there, so there's nothing much to try and salvage. You could try the small claims court, but I wouldn't hold my breath. By the sound of it, the bloke is likely to be a serial borrower, and the likelihood of him having the funds to pay you back, even in instalments, is minimal. His credit rating is almost certainly already fucked to pieces, so be won't care about that either.

I hope you aren't desperate for this money, you won't get it back.

I feel for you.
I made the same mistake in lending a friend a similar amount of money.
He also works full time.
It turns out he has a gambling problem (I wasn't aware of this at the time).
I haven't seen any of the money again either.
I've certainly learnt from it.

Tell him you'll go to small claims if he hasn't paid you back within x weeks. Stick to it.

Personally I would text
It's gone on for far too long now. You was supposed to have paid the cash by X. Every month/week this money needs to be paid back @ X amount. Starting on Y date.

Don't discuss anymore.

When Y day comes around and he hasn't paid.

Another text-
I am very disappointed that you have ignored my last message RE the money you owe. I need that money and you have given me no option but to take this to small claims.

Yea it will probably lose a friendship, but honestly is he someone you really want in your life.

And never lend people money. I will lend a tenner or twenty here and there depending on the friend. But over that, I am not a bank. Because there is something more urgent for them, even if it's just another pair of shoes to add to the collection, and so paying you back is way down their priorities.

I wouldn't give up OP. Chase the fucker until you pays up. Get him to small claims court. Oh and ring the police about his drug habit the smug twat

*he pays up!

He's proved he's one of life's Takers OP. I'd go all guns blazing from now on, invite him to pay you back in a set time frame otherwise you're starting the small claims process and then follow that through with the bailiffs as well if they're needed. I'd also do as suggested upthread by @Roussette. This person has no shame so don't be embarrassed about claiming back your debt and making sure others know what he's like.

I often see people advising the small claims court. Does it apply in a case where a friend loans another friend money? I always thought the small claims court only dealt with business cases. Whereby a claim could be made against a business who didn't provide a service which was paid for. Or for someone who hasn't paid for a service of product that has been provided?

From Citizen's Advice:
A small claim is a way you can ask a court to get compensation or your money back if something’s gone wrong. That might be poor service, a faulty product, your landlord not doing repairs or if you haven't been paid for work you've done.

As far as I'm aware a private agreement between "friends" is not the remit of the small claims court.

Jesus Ragwort

I think small claims may be the only way to go. It will wreck the friendship though as dickhead will not like that

Small claims is for consumer issues only. They'd be inundated with people claiming from CF friends otherwise.

www.gov.uk/options-if-youre-owed-money

Not just for consumer things.
Op have a read of the link there's other ways mentioned such as mediation.

Citizen advice it seems needs to update their info.

The friendship was wrecked from him not being a decent human and paying you back. And what kind of friend would do that? Raise your standards and tighten your purse strings going forward.

The friendship was wrecked when he asked for money, and you handed it over.

Also, saying you can't afford to lose the money, you're falling for the sunk cost fallacy. You've already lost the money.

If you're going the small claims route, you'll need to send him a letter before action, giving him 7 days, for example, to pay you. Then if he doesn't pay, you start the claim. Don't send the letter signed for, because he might refuse it, but do get a certificate of posting, that's proof enough, and the courts will deem he's received it.
No need to pay a solicitor to do that, they can't enforce it, and this is what small claims is for, so you don't need to pay legal representation.