Thrown out of restaurant for bringing newborn baby

[toddlermom]

Hi all,

Just need to vent and wondering if I should complain and if so who to. We went to one of my (ex) favourite London restaurants (Amaya) last night (wearing 5 week old baby in cloth sling, as I often do).

Walked in, got to our table, I took off my jacket and went to sit down but the waitress stopped me and said I couldn't sit down and had to leave the restaurant as she could now see (that I had taken off jacket) that I had a baby and 'children aren't allowed in the restaurant". I said it was a baby - who was asleep - and unlikely to wakeup - and she said it didn't matter, they don't let any children in the restaurant.

The manager came over, said the same thing, they were really, really rude and unfriendly. Didn't say sorry or sympathise, empathise in any way.

They don't have any social media presence so I can't even tweet them and vent on social. I could write a letter to the owner? Or is there anything else I should do? Or AIBU and just not go there again? Any advice welcome!! Thank you!

And you’ve been lots of times before and never noticed there were no children?

I’ve been to this restaurant a number of times and part of its appeal is that you can enjoy a romantic or business meal without having to shout over the noise often created by small children and babies. Many restaurants have a blanket rule against young children for this reason, because otherwise they’d be saying ‘children welcome - unless they get annoying’, which is rather hard to enforce once a disruptive family is seated and mid-meal. The restaurant involved has a clear policy, so yes, YABU.

@BiggestJulie good point?! Under which law is a woman with a newborn protected in regards to going to a restaurant for dinner?! Fucking HELL you’re all bonkers.

Ooow children coffee shop - now id love to go there as want.peace to enjoy my coffee while kids are at school

They should have informed you. I'd be annoyed if I got there and they only told me then. That IS annoying.

Looking to rant about it on social media and internet forums is just OTT though. Don't give them your custom again, go somewhere else, move on.

Well said Worra

Damn YABU OP!! Your baby is a child and therefore not allowed in the restaurant during those specified times. End of story. Why didn’t you book a table for when kids are allowed? It’s not hard.

Thanks for flagging up a restaurant with lovely stretches of no-children times. I shall be booking as soon as possible.

Are you upset that they didn't ask you on the phone that despite booking a table for 2, if you've forgotten to mention a baby strapped to your chest?

Why would they ask everyone that who books?

A new born baby pretty much needs to be within arm's reach of the mum, especially a breastfed child
Oh FFS.... nobody was forcing her to go to that particular restaurant
Jesus.... the sense of entitlement amongst some women with newborns is mind numbing

I am well aware, as I said above, that there are specific licensing laws (gambling, sex, drinking only establishments) where customers need to be 18+.
Not just "drinking only" establishments BiggestJulie, licensing laws apply to all premises that serve alcohol, including restaurants.

If they don’t allow children, they don’t allow children. If you want to argue that your 5 week old should be allowed, you could also argue that a 10 year old would be no trouble so should also be allowed. But they don’t allow children!

*I am not so sure that all these answers supporting a no-children policy are reasonable in this case.

A new born baby pretty much needs to be within arm's reach of the mum, especially a breastfed child.

Pregnancy and maternity status is a discrimination protected characteristic. You are protected for 26 weeks after giving birth under the definition for discrimination on this grounds.

A restaurant is quite at liberty to have a no children policy. But extending that to include even tiny newborn babies is almost the same as having a "no pregnant women" policy. The restaurant therefore discriminated against you illegally by ensuring that you as the mother of a newborn baby had less access to their services than someone who isn't the mother of a newborn baby.*

Hahaha where did you get your law degree?!

It was your fault so own it

Really? You have to check all restaurant websites before making a booking? The restaurant should have informed her when she called.

The manager came over, said the same thing, they were really, really rude and unfriendly. Didn't say sorry or sympathise, empathise in any way.

You brought a baby to a child free restaurant. Despite being told this by the server, it needed a manager to make you understand this. Why do they need to apologise when you are breaking their rules?

I think the only think you can really complain about is that they don’t flag up the child policy on the same page of the website as you book from. There should be a ‘the time you have selected is not suitable for guests under the age of 10 - would you like to go ahead or go back and select a different time?’

That would prevent issues.

Yabu. We have an 18 month old. Every bar or restaurant we've gone to we've checked before hand whether children are allowed. I think it's absolutely right that a restaurant should have a no child policy and should I have a babysitter for the night it's the sort of place I'd go!!

If it was one of your favourite restaurants have you not noticed the lack of children on previous visits?
You could've checked when you were booking it over the phone

Don't see how they're rude other than en forcing the quite clear policy and rightly so if that is how they wish to run their establishment.

The restaurant should have informed her when she called.

When anyone phoned to book a table for two, the restaurant should always ask it they were planning on bringing a baby?

Sorry, but what would be your basis for the complaint?

They, quite rightly upheld their strict rules around children (which includes newborns!)

I know you said yours is only 5 weeks old so you may not have adjusted yet, but really!?

Children are a nuisance in eating places so it's nice to hear this place controls the disruption. It's just rather unfortunate that they've had to though. I guess you've got selfish parents who don't discipline their children or teach them how to behave to thank for that.

If I lived in London, I would definitely book a table here and enjoy peace and quiet

Oddly enough, my meal has never been ruined or disturbed by a baby or child and has usually been disturbed by adults that drink too much and get really loud, groups of adults that have a habit of laughing at everything as a group like they're trying to the break the world record or something and uppity, fussy adults that give the waiting staff a proper hard time and hold everyone else up from getting their food and bills..

If you booked over the phone wouldn’t you have listed the correct number and status of attendees? For example whenever I book a restaurant over the phone I will always say 2 adults and 2 kids, not just 4 people. Even when I had one small kid I’d say 2 adults and a baby. I do this precisely because I know not everywhere is child friendly. At that point they would’ve told you the policy but it sounds like you didn’t declare the baby when booking.

@JacksonPillock no, the correct thing to do when dining at high-end restaurants is to check the policies on children. This is a Michelin star place we’re talking about, not a Whetherspoons.

When anyone phoned to book a table for two, the restaurant should always ask it they were planning on bringing a baby?

It would obviously make sense for the restaurant to say "just so you're aware, the restaurant has a no-child policy at this time". How do they know the booking for two isn't a parent and their child, after all?

I'm surprised they didn't mention it because if they never do, then this situation must occur with some frequency, and obviously it's going to lose them business in the long run.

Thank you @BlouseAndSkirt , really kind, I'm not going to bother replying to the unnecessary nastiness!!

Accept i was YABU just I didn't know policy and no I never noticed no kids before as normally there 9/10pm at night and this was a 630pm table.

And for whoever complained I had "left the thread" because I got yabu, huge apologies if I offended you, have 3 children to look after including feeding the baby as well as housework laundry etc. So I only go onto computer/phone 2 or 3 times a day so I haven't left thread just haven't had time to look.

Thank you to everyone who has been kind!!