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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Thrown out of restaurant for bringing newborn baby

687 replies

toddlermom · 10/11/2019 13:39

Hi all,

Just need to vent and wondering if I should complain and if so who to. We went to one of my (ex) favourite London restaurants (Amaya) last night (wearing 5 week old baby in cloth sling, as I often do).

Walked in, got to our table, I took off my jacket and went to sit down but the waitress stopped me and said I couldn't sit down and had to leave the restaurant as she could now see (that I had taken off jacket) that I had a baby and 'children aren't allowed in the restaurant". I said it was a baby - who was asleep - and unlikely to wakeup - and she said it didn't matter, they don't let any children in the restaurant.

The manager came over, said the same thing, they were really, really rude and unfriendly. Didn't say sorry or sympathise, empathise in any way.

They don't have any social media presence so I can't even tweet them and vent on social. I could write a letter to the owner? Or is there anything else I should do? Or AIBU and just not go there again? Any advice welcome!! Thank you!

OP posts:
GrimalkinsCrone · 10/11/2019 13:46

It’s very clear on their website when children are allowed, and what ages. Saturday and Sunday lunchtime, children of all ages welcome. You need to go at the correct time, or choose a different restaurant.
No grounds for complaint.

Celebelly · 10/11/2019 13:46

You might know your baby won't wake up and cause a noise, but they have no way of knowing that! And it would be awkward for them if your baby did start crying and disrupt other diners.

If they really were rude, though, then that's not on.

Sallyseagull · 10/11/2019 13:47

One of my favourite restaurants is also child free, I have a child but I respect that and dont bring my DS (and enjoy a child free meal).

If it's their policy I dont understand what writing to the manager will achieve? They wont change their stance and I bet a lot of their customers like that children arent permitted.

IfIShouldFallFromGraceWithGod · 10/11/2019 13:48

YABU
I go out to have a break from my kids so I look for adult only places. That includes your children

AgeLikeWine · 10/11/2019 13:48

“Please note our children policy at the fine dining restaurants:
Lunch: Monday to Friday: Children above the age of 4 are allowed;
Lunch: Saturday & Sunday: Children of all ages welcome.
Dinner: Monday to Sunday: Children aged 6 to 10 are welcome for reservations at 6pm & 6.30pm only and must vacate by 8.30pm.

We regret that we are unable to accommodate prams and push chairs in any of our restaurants.
In the interest of other diners, if children are noisy or running around, we will have to stop service and ask the family to leave.”

That’s pretty clear, therefore YABU.

user1493413286 · 10/11/2019 13:50

I agree they shouldn’t be rude but surely if you’ve been before you’ve noticed that they don’t have children there? It’s on their website and to be honest for a restaurant of those prices people don’t expect to have the potential of crying babies which unfortunately you can’t guarantee

Otterseatpuffinsdontthey · 10/11/2019 13:51

q

TheReluctantCountess · 10/11/2019 13:51

There is nothing to complain about.

coconuttelegraph · 10/11/2019 13:51

Way to make a drama out of nothing, what exactly are you complaining about? Your inability to check beforehand?

FelixFelicis6 · 10/11/2019 13:52

🙄

PickwickThePlockingDodo · 10/11/2019 13:52

Oh, I see. No children allowed except yours. Righto

Exactly

Katrinawaves · 10/11/2019 13:53

@NumberblockNo1

With pubs it’s often their licensing restrictions rather than a commercial decision not to want children. There are 2 nice gastro pubs close to where we used to live and I was surprised when my DS was born when one asked me to leave when my OH and I went there for lunch just after I got out of hospital with him. But they were polite and explained there license was over 18s only on the premises, so we just went next door to the one which had a license which allowed kids on premises if adults were eating and all was well.

GreytExpectations · 10/11/2019 13:53

Op do you think you and your child are somehow special and the rules shouldn't apply to you? Get a grip, you were in the wrong and YABU to complain about a restaurant following their procedures instead of treating you and your precious baby differently to everyone else Hmm

BumbleBeee69 · 10/11/2019 13:53

They don't have any social media presence so I can't even tweet them and vent on social.

Now THIS... really pisses me off..

YOU didn't take think the 'advertised and quite clearly stated rules' applied to you...

So you want to insult discredit and slate their hard earned business online...

Get a fucking grip. Flowers

DCITennison · 10/11/2019 13:54

If it was your favourite restaurant that suggests you have been there a lot and are familiar with it.

So you either hadn’t noticed previously that children aren’t allowed, in which case the correct response when informed by the waitress would be to leave, or you did already know but thought the rule shouldn’t apply to you.

Either way, the fact the manager had to come over suggest you didn’t accept what the waitress said and that probably explains why the manager wasn’t sympathetic. You’d probably already had the “I’m terribly sorry, but...” from the waitress.

FungusTheToegyman · 10/11/2019 13:54

But OP were they really rude or just telling you something you didn't want to hear? You took a child into a restaurant that does not allow children, they asked you to leave - exactly what were you expecting them to do?

CuriousaboutSamphire · 10/11/2019 13:55

They don't have any social media presence Odd! As someone who doesn't use Twitter etc, I found them instantly! It is msall, poorly used, but it is there!

And Instagram.

And there policies about children!

YABU! You should have checked first. It isn't unusual for restaurants to be adult only.

RedDogsBeg · 10/11/2019 13:55

Any advice welcome!! Thank you!

Don't take a baby into a restaurant that has a clear No Children Policy, don't assume that you are so special that the rules don't and shouldn't apply to you, then you won't be disappointed, upset or angry without justification.

breakfastpizza · 10/11/2019 13:55

You weren't 'thrown out', you tried to dine at a place that didn't allow children.

Laugh it off and plan better next time.

Honeybee85 · 10/11/2019 13:56

I would feel upset too if I were you given how humiliating it must have felt to be in that situation.
But no children policy means no children, including a very small baby.

We have also been out to eat with our DS who is also a small baby but we always choose establishments that are family friendly. If I had wanted to go somewhere fancy I would ask a babysitter, would feel very uncomfortable in such place if my baby started crying.

CuriousaboutSamphire · 10/11/2019 13:58

Why humiliating? I don't get that at all!

Humiliating would have required some sort of a scene to have been made. OP describes an unsmiling conversation.

FrancisCrawford · 10/11/2019 13:59

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

ClaraThePigeon · 10/11/2019 13:59

YABU. Unless you've somehow given birth to a kitten then your baby is also a child and therefore not allowed in the restaurant at that time.

applesandacorns · 10/11/2019 14:00

It's clearly a pricey restaurant. Not surprised there's a no kids policy - I wouldn't want a 5 week old baby screaming through my expensive meal either.

kmc1111 · 10/11/2019 14:00

Their website is very clear. Having been there myself many times I also think it’s rather obvious that it wouldn’t be the kind of place that welcomes young children.

Most up-market Michelin starred restaurants don’t want children there, particularly crying babies. The atmosphere is after all a big part of their appeal. Many restaurants have stricter policies than this.