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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Thrown out of restaurant for bringing newborn baby

687 replies

toddlermom · 10/11/2019 13:39

Hi all,

Just need to vent and wondering if I should complain and if so who to. We went to one of my (ex) favourite London restaurants (Amaya) last night (wearing 5 week old baby in cloth sling, as I often do).

Walked in, got to our table, I took off my jacket and went to sit down but the waitress stopped me and said I couldn't sit down and had to leave the restaurant as she could now see (that I had taken off jacket) that I had a baby and 'children aren't allowed in the restaurant". I said it was a baby - who was asleep - and unlikely to wakeup - and she said it didn't matter, they don't let any children in the restaurant.

The manager came over, said the same thing, they were really, really rude and unfriendly. Didn't say sorry or sympathise, empathise in any way.

They don't have any social media presence so I can't even tweet them and vent on social. I could write a letter to the owner? Or is there anything else I should do? Or AIBU and just not go there again? Any advice welcome!! Thank you!

OP posts:
ferntwist · 13/11/2019 15:58

It wasn’t about disagreement, it was being told I was unattractive, lecturing, not allowed to comment and more. And now more nastiness. It’s bizarre.

ferntwist · 13/11/2019 16:01

Eh? RedDogs I haven’t said ‘the UK as a whole and it’s people’ are child unfriendly. Not anywhere, as I don’t think it. The culture is definitely baby mad in Spain though, ask any Spaniard or Catalan, it’s a national pastime making babies smile on the bus and out and about and you definitely see kids and babies out late in restaurants much more.

RedDogsBeg · 13/11/2019 16:23

This is what you said ferntwist:

I’ve lived in Spain and France and they are much more welcoming and accepting of babies and children at restaurants.

But not in Michelin starred restaurants as per the op. The majority of UK restaurants welcome babies and children, it is not something restricted to restaurants in France and Spain no matter how much you try to insist otherwise.

The Spanish and Catalans think nothing of having babies in restaurants at midnight and that’s definitely not just in resorts. It’s a much more family-centred culture.

There is a late eating culture in Spain and Catalonia, predominantly due to the weather - you know the fact that it is hot there in the summer and people take long leisurely lunches, have siestas, shops close in the afternoon and re-open in the evening, people eat later and go to bed later due to the working patterns, school days and holidays are different. The working patterns, school days, holidays and weather in the UK are entirely different.

Also people love making babies laugh and smile in public and are always saying hello on buses. Even teenage lads do this to babies in Spain, it’s a national pastime.

People do this in the UK too, unless of course I am imagining it, because I've seen it often.

Your whole post is critical of the UK attitude to children compared to the attitude on the continent, it was definitely telling us that we were child unfriendly in the UK as we are, according to you, not welcome and accepting of babies in restaurants.

I have spent a good part of my life in Catalonia so I don't need to ask any Spaniards or Catalans, thanks.

Never said you were unattractive or not allowed to comment.

CuriousaboutSamphire · 13/11/2019 16:39

Ye gods! Look, there are Michelin star restaurants in the UK and all over the world that are baby friendly. Some have time restrictions, some don't. Others just don't allow kids in ever!

Same in every country. EVERY BLOODY COUNTRY!!

It isn't odd, unusual, discriminatory.. it just is...

CuriousaboutSamphire · 13/11/2019 16:41

The Spanish and Catalans think nothing of having babies in restaurants at midnight and that’s definitely not just in resorts. It’s a much more family-centred culture I think I may have already commented on that. Yes, they do. Lots and lots fof family oriented resaurants are happy to be full of famile groups eating late.

Many others don't! And, as I am sure you have to be aware, the lateness is purely down to the weather , siesta culture etc. We couldn't replicate it here, it would make no sense!

IrmaFayLear · 13/11/2019 16:41

Try taking a baby/toddler into a lot of restaurants (in fact, anywhere) in northern Italy and watch them just falling over themselves to try to make the baby laugh... Hmm They will be adding a cover charge to your bill for a place taken by someone not eating or even worse, someone making a mess .

Always cringe at this "on the continent" business as if it's 1972 and we've just discovered Benidorm. Y'know what? Quite a few people in Europe don't actually live by the seaside nor do they inhabit a Dolmio advert all eating under olive trees with a laughing nonna dishing out pasta to many generations.

XXcstatic · 13/11/2019 16:43

If the OP and her supporters are so keen on babies in restaurants, why don't they stick to family friendly places? There are plenty now that do decent food. The reason, of course, is that they like the more sophisticated atmosphere of restaurants without young children. They actually want the restaurant to be childfree apart from their own DC.

spanglydangly · 13/11/2019 16:45

Well said at @XXcstatic!

LolaSmiles · 13/11/2019 16:45

How are we on page 28 and at the point where people have turned "restaurant has child free times" into "this is discrimination because i can't do what I want when I want".

No children at certain times means just that.
Why some parents think they are exempt is beyond me. maybe they're a distant relation of people who think they'll bring siblings to a birthday party, or that their 6 year old is the exception to the child free wedding

RedDogsBeg · 13/11/2019 16:56

CuriousaboutSamphire the comments about the late eating culture and babies and children being out late at night remind me of Blair's coffee/cafe culture comments in the late 90's/early 2000's and are about as perceptive and understanding of the geographical, climatic and cultural differences between that there continent and the UK as his were proven to be.

CuriousaboutSamphire · 13/11/2019 17:08

Ooh! I remember that, RedDogs Very cosmopolitan of him Smile

IcedPurple · 13/11/2019 18:28

It's also funny how, for so many people the 'continent' equals Spain, France, Italy and maybe Greece. What about say, Finland? Or Hungary? Or Germany? Do these 'continental' countries also welcome sprogs underfoot at midnight in posh restaurants?

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