Thrown out of restaurant for bringing newborn baby

[toddlermom]

Hi all,

Just need to vent and wondering if I should complain and if so who to. We went to one of my (ex) favourite London restaurants (Amaya) last night (wearing 5 week old baby in cloth sling, as I often do).

Walked in, got to our table, I took off my jacket and went to sit down but the waitress stopped me and said I couldn't sit down and had to leave the restaurant as she could now see (that I had taken off jacket) that I had a baby and 'children aren't allowed in the restaurant". I said it was a baby - who was asleep - and unlikely to wakeup - and she said it didn't matter, they don't let any children in the restaurant.

The manager came over, said the same thing, they were really, really rude and unfriendly. Didn't say sorry or sympathise, empathise in any way.

They don't have any social media presence so I can't even tweet them and vent on social. I could write a letter to the owner? Or is there anything else I should do? Or AIBU and just not go there again? Any advice welcome!! Thank you!

YABU but I think that's very clear now!

It's not just one experience though is it?

Indeed. Hence my use of the plural!

"I could write a letter to the owner?"
Saying what? Are you complaining you felt that staff were rude to you or because children weren't allowed into the restaurant? Were they actually rude to you or are you just upset because you didn't like what they said to you?

You could ask for a more prominent sign excluding children if you weren't aware the restaurant only catered to adults.

"Or is there anything else I should do? Or AIBU and just not go there again? Any advice welcome!!"
Just not go there again while you have children with you.

Lucky you Woodchuck99. I've had many meals ruined by children including a few weeks ago when I was hit in the face with a toy that was thrown across the restaurant.

Lucky you Woodchuck99. I've had many meals ruined by children including a few weeks ago when I was hit in the face with a toy that was thrown across the restaurant.

Do you eat very early in the evening?

@woodchuck99 fairly certain the restaurants that are child free are doing it to preserve a quiet ambiance, not the place where big groups of loud drunk people gather. So am not sure what point you’re trying to make ? If you dislike loud groups of adults you would also likely enjoy the vibe at a child free restaurant.

Amaya is an amazing restaurant and as with most really great restaurants and certainly Michelin starred places it is not just a place to eat but an experience.

Restaurants are commercial businesses and their child policy will reflect this.

Also, as a complete reverse, of OP’s intentions of bad-mouthing the place I highly recommend this and Chutney Mary.

As previous poster said, if OP has been many times before, she must have found the service acceptable until she ignored the request not to bring children.

I'm sorry. I didn't realise that eating during the day or early evening makes it ok to be hit in the face with the toy, or to have children run into me or a waiter, to have them climb under my table or scream their heads off without being taken outside.

I've had meals ruined at all hours though.

Well, I disagree with everyne here. I think such a policy ought to be illegal.

We'd never go out to eat or drink if that was the case! All too often, we've had a meal or drink out spoiled by parents with apparently feral children. We've twice cancelled an order because the noise from screaming toddlers has become intolerable, and stopped using our local because it has become the pub of choice for Mr & Mrs Boden who think everyone must love the piercing tones of Jocasta and Tarquin as much as they do.

I'm sorry. I didn't realise that eating during the day or early evening makes it ok to be hit in the face with the toy, or to have children run into me or a waiter, to have them climb under my table or scream their heads off without being taken outside.

Where did I say it was okay? Just wondering why you have the experience of being hit with toys and screamed at so I can avoid it.

I remember going out for our first meal out as a couple on our own after my DS was born and being fuming as we were sat next to a couple with a baby in a car seat. I wanted a night away from babies!!

The baby fussed all night and they were up and down trying to settle it.

YABU.

[shock[Otherwise children should be welcomed at all restaurants.

hahahahaha - nope. All the freaking nope. I go to really beautiful, often very expensive, restaurants with my OH. (what can i say - we like to eat) often they'll have, or be about to be awarded, a Michelin* star or two. I don't want any disruptions - drunk boorish people, too loud people, too loud music, anything. I want a nice atmosphere to enjoy the often hideously priced food.

I've been through the baby years an although I love going out I didn't have any family here and very few friends so we skipped it for a while until we did have reliable baby sitters etc. It used to drive me mad that when we'd saved up for ages, and arranged complicated and rare baby sitting if we went out and someone else's baby ruined the evening. Don't be that person.

*other fine-dining awards are available

The other day After some mummy’s left the restaurant section of the pub it took me ages to clean their table / because the kid had been hanging out on the carpeted floor & ripping up dozens of drink coasters into little pieces. We aren’t supposed to use the vacuum during service, so I had to get on my hands & knees to pick it all up by hand. Also these are the kinds of people who never tip, but have taken up more than their fair share of service & made a right state of the table!

He had also shaken salt & pepper all over the floor. He might have been quiet but it still caused issues! Kids can be destructive without making noise. The mummys obviously didn’t care he was destroying so many coasters because it kept him quiet, but it’s actually expensive to do reorders of those products, we don’t throw out coasters after single use.

Unless you have worked in hospitality you might not understand just how annoying kids can be for a restaurant. Often They take up an extra seat but don’t order the same amount of food, or drink alcohol so essentially the restaurant loses money off that seat.

@SoupDragon, I also guffawed at the notion that newborns don't make noise. Anyone who thinks that clearly never met DD2! That girl was born with a fine set of lungs.

OP YABhighlyU.

And entitled.

Ultimately we had the last laugh because if only they knew how filthy the pub carpet was.... I mean we vacuum daily & steam clean quarterly but I wouldn’t want to put my hands on the carpet then put them in my mouth

@HolyheadBound but don’t you know newborns don’t cry! They have gorgeous little bleats like a baby goat !

Just wondering why you have the experience of being hit with toys and screamed at so I can avoid it.

You'd best ask their parents.

@Prawns Baby goats my arse.

YABU OP.. Amaya is a favourite here too, but we haven’t been in years because they have a fairly strict no baby policy which is clearly on their website. Indian accent is the same.
There are OTOH lovely restaurants like Jamavar - we called and asked if it’s okay to bring baby, didn’t want her fussing to upset others and the lovely manager said he’d hand out ear plugs to any patrons who complained but we were very welcome at lunchtime and made it a lovely afternoon for us.

If I’ve paid for babysitting and come out to Amaya I’d be annoyed to see other babies there too - sleeping or not.

Am I the only one who has no idea what a baby goat sounds like?

You have a baby and didn't check the policy - it was awkward for both them and you but they can't have a rule for everyone but not enforce it with you just because you think your baby will sleep through.

You don't check restaurants websites before going? Do you not look at their online menu?

Everyone I know does.

How loud are newborns?

My DSS was so loud that I was convinced he was made entirely out of lungs and larynx. You could hear him from the next street, which is where I was living at the time.

This thread is staggering. But it is really interesting too. You know how older generations are always banging on about how younger generations always sound so bloody entitled?

Well, I'm a slightly older person and I don't think that too often, but when i see stuff like this

So new mums are basically not able to go out for dinner?

I despair.

To use one of those overused mumsnet phrases: is this the hill you want to die on?

There are so so so many things that parents of young children could do with, that they need/want/hope for. But no. We are going to fight on the beaches so that all young mums can go to a Michelin starred restaurant with a baby.

I went to see the 2nd Thor film at the cinema with my kids (teenagers at the time). At a cinema on a Saturday 8:30 pm showing. And a pair came in with a baby (turned out to be 6 months old). Which proceeded to screech the place down 20 minutes after the film started. And carried on for 20 minutes until someone stood up and shouted at her to take the baby out.

And 10 minutes after she'd left. She came back in again. With the baby. And after a short while it started again. And when someone (else) told her to leave she started shouting about how stressed it made her and she's allowed to go out and how she's allowed to have fun. Until another woman stood up and asked her to reimburse the 50 euros she'd forked out for a baby sitter…

After the showing the manager came in and apologised and reassured us that they would not be allowing babies in for anything other than children's films during the daytime.

I know how you feel @LakieLady. Mine was so loud a pregnant midwife said she hoped to God her baby wasn't as loud as he was.