Thrown out of restaurant for bringing newborn baby

[toddlermom]

Hi all,

Just need to vent and wondering if I should complain and if so who to. We went to one of my (ex) favourite London restaurants (Amaya) last night (wearing 5 week old baby in cloth sling, as I often do).

Walked in, got to our table, I took off my jacket and went to sit down but the waitress stopped me and said I couldn't sit down and had to leave the restaurant as she could now see (that I had taken off jacket) that I had a baby and 'children aren't allowed in the restaurant". I said it was a baby - who was asleep - and unlikely to wakeup - and she said it didn't matter, they don't let any children in the restaurant.

The manager came over, said the same thing, they were really, really rude and unfriendly. Didn't say sorry or sympathise, empathise in any way.

They don't have any social media presence so I can't even tweet them and vent on social. I could write a letter to the owner? Or is there anything else I should do? Or AIBU and just not go there again? Any advice welcome!! Thank you!

@XXcstatic, I don’t actually have any small children eligible for any discounts.

Your point about child discounts is entirely different and beside the point. My impression is that businesses offer them because it is profitable for them to do so.

@BitOfFun , no, I don’t think my ‘comparison’ is crass at all. If a society chooses to discriminate, then they should be clear that they are making that choice.

My personal view is that discrimination based on colour, gender, ethnic or national origin, religion, sexual orientation, and age ought to be illegal - and, to some extent, it is.

I am simply interested that you cannot discriminate against old people (I am over 65), and that is in many cases (rightly in my view) socially unacceptable, but you can discriminate against young people, apparently.

I am just suggesting that people see this as a matter of discrimination. But also a matter of discrimination against young parents.

I do not think my view is “crass”, and I have very little “skin in this game” since I am well beyond the point of getting either thrown out of restaurants or getting child discounts.

But I think folks should think clearly about discrimination and how far it should go.

My view is that OP was unreasonably discriminated against, and that she should have been protected under the law. Other folks may (and obviously do) have different opinions, but if you welcome that discrimination, I think you should be honest enough to accept that that is what it is, and that it is not different from most other discriminations. It’s just one that you happen to be on board with.

Looks like amaya's new social media officer has just got off to a flying start anyway

If it’s your ex-favourite restaurant, surely you have noticed the lack of babies and kids in there? Yabu!

I bet they would have let Megan bring Archie in.

I would have thought people would know how to behave in a restaurant by the time they get to 65. 6.5, not so much.

Discrimination isn't wrong in all cases, though.

We don't allow children to buy alcohol or cigarettes, get married, vote, apply for a driving licence, get a job, and many other things. We make them attend a school, generally chosen by their parents. We treat children differently from adults because they are different from adults.

Julie, I just think it's a cheap and lazy comparison: "blacks" as you charmingly phrased it are not a separate category of adults who create a nuisance in restaurants, and they also aren't there to be used to score points in a frankly weak argument.

I know that it is not your intention to cause offence, but it really isn't okay, IMO.

Conscription for the under 5s! That is the answer.

Has OP even been back once?

Okay then. I'll be expecting your kids to pay full fares on all forms of transport, entertainment and in restaurants - they take up a seat, so why should they get a reduction?. And it would be discrimination to treat them differently from adults, wouldn't it?

People over 60 use public transport for free where I live and pay less in cinemas and various other places but it wouldn't be considered acceptable to exclude people over 60 from restaurants.

They've had this rule for a while though and it's on their website in the FAQ's.

Using the fact that children get discounts as a reason of discriminating against them in totally unconnected situations is pretty ridiculous especially considering that adults often get discounts for various reasons too. People over 60 get discounts so do you think it would be okay to exclude them from restaurants?

5 weeks baby's don't make much fuss usually, they usually have that gorgeous little cry like a little goat

This comparison is pretty apt actually Ever tried to eat with a small goat blatting in your ear?

God, dont you just hate it when you get an evening off and dont have your children with you, and you go out and have to listen to other peoples kids though?

OP, there are things you can do at 39 weeks pregnant, thaf you cant do when your kid is a week old, such as go to childfree things and places.

Its better that they told you "no children" and asked you to leave at that point, rather than run the risk of making you all leave after ordering food if your baby starts crying. Newborn Babies crying is loud and maddening. Its designed to be. It doesnt sound like tiny mewing goat
I think this was your mess up, not theirs

I am just suggesting that people see this as a matter of discrimination.

Ok, let's treat children exactly like adults in restaurants. If an adult shat himself, sucked at a woman's breast or screamed at the top of his voice, he'd be chucked out of any restaurant.

The comparisons to race, sex and disability discrimination are absurd and crass.

It’s a restaurant ffs, you can either follow its policy and choose to patronise it...or don’t...there’s plenty of other places more than happy to take your business where you can be surrounded by screaming badly behaved children and their normally overly entitled parents.

I look at it in the same way as places that have policies on wearing trainers, football shirts or god forbid demanding you actually dress for breakfast.

Your money, your choice. There is obviously a market for child free dining or they wouldn’t be offering it!

God, dont you just hate it when you get an evening off and dont have your children with you, and you go out and have to listen to other peoples kids though?

Honestly, it's never happened to me. Don't most people put their kids to bed before your usual "going out for a romantic evening" time anyway? Especially if you go somewhere "nice".

My niece sounded sod all like a baby goat.

She sounded like a demonic version of Mariah - shrill, angry and reaching notes (and decibels) not usually attainable by mere mortals. Unless they were gripping a red hot poker.

I loved the bones of her but her she made me want to join in and cry with her.

She no more did delicate bleating than I do a size 8.

No i dont have badly behaved kids i dont have any at all so would like to go somewhere just sometimes without kids being around me

Meh. I think its perfectly reasonable to have some adult only spaces. Babies are lovely and all that , but not so lovely when they're screaming their lungs out whilst you eat your overpriced curry.

But her scream (not she)

They don't allow children-end of.
I'm a mother to five kids but when I'm out at a restaurant without my children, I deliberately seek out a restaurant that doesn't allow children because they're bloody annoyingly loud or go to a place that allows kids.
No don't complain, you're being over sensitive

So new mums are basically not able to go out for dinner? Sometimes mums exclusively breast feed and/or dad isnt around (not meaning to offend but I know way more single mum parents!) How is this not excluding a certain type of person?

Mum of three here.

So your aim was to complain and try to shame the restaurant on social media. This behaviour can devastate businesses.

I wouldn't dream of taking a child to a posh restaurant. Then I wouldn't have the gall to complain when asked to leave due to a blanket policy. Then the sheer, quite unbelievable rudeness to try to raise complaint on social media, without checking first what it says on their website.

You come across very entitled and just sound like a brat. Check before you go next time.

They can go somewhere that allows babies. It's not difficult really is it ?