Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Thrown out of restaurant for bringing newborn baby

687 replies

toddlermom · 10/11/2019 13:39

Hi all,

Just need to vent and wondering if I should complain and if so who to. We went to one of my (ex) favourite London restaurants (Amaya) last night (wearing 5 week old baby in cloth sling, as I often do).

Walked in, got to our table, I took off my jacket and went to sit down but the waitress stopped me and said I couldn't sit down and had to leave the restaurant as she could now see (that I had taken off jacket) that I had a baby and 'children aren't allowed in the restaurant". I said it was a baby - who was asleep - and unlikely to wakeup - and she said it didn't matter, they don't let any children in the restaurant.

The manager came over, said the same thing, they were really, really rude and unfriendly. Didn't say sorry or sympathise, empathise in any way.

They don't have any social media presence so I can't even tweet them and vent on social. I could write a letter to the owner? Or is there anything else I should do? Or AIBU and just not go there again? Any advice welcome!! Thank you!

OP posts:
ferrier · 10/11/2019 21:07

What's with all the snide 'wearing the baby' comments. I thought this site was supportive of mothers but clearly not with comments like those.

Leighhalfpennysthigh · 10/11/2019 21:13

I think this thread has worked out rather well for Amaya

Have just made reservations for dinner for my brother, sister and I so thank OP!

XXcstatic · 10/11/2019 21:16

As a society, we can decide that this is right or this is wrong, but we should be clear that we are deciding that small children and babies are not protected in the same way we protect others. Lets just not pretend that it is other than discrimination that we, as a society, decide to allow

Okay then. I'll be expecting your kids to pay full fares on all forms of transport, entertainment and in restaurants - they take up a seat, so why should they get a reduction?. And it would be discrimination to treat them differently from adults, wouldn't it?

ferntwist · 10/11/2019 21:18

So many uptight cross people. We were all babies once. Most adults make more noise than a newborn.

Baby liberation!

BitOfFun · 10/11/2019 21:25

@ferrier, in my case it was an attempt at humour. I don't actually care what anybody wants to call using a sling- go for your life. But maybe get a lucky sitter to take care of the lovely newborn for a couple of hours, or just book a table at a more appropriate time.

BitOfFun · 10/11/2019 21:28

Oh my word @BiggestJulie, have you any idea how crass that comparison is? Shock

oreomum · 10/11/2019 21:30

As a society, we can decide that this is right or this is wrong, but we should be clear that we are deciding that small children and babies are not protected in the same way we protect others. Lets just not pretend that it is other than discrimination that we, as a society, decide to allow

Some establishments pride themselves on being family friendly with high chairs, children's menus, baby feeding and changing facilities which is great.

Others are proud to be adults only establishments. I think it's absolutely fine to do that,

If parents want more family-friendly restaurants available to them then they need to follow good restaurant etiquette and not do stuff like have kids watching tablets (often without headphones) at the table, let them wander around and stand on chairs... I've seen more than one person change a nappy in a booth while waiting for food 🤢🤮

Fozzleyplum · 10/11/2019 21:31

I can't believe that people don't understand that different etiquette and expectations apply to different venues. If I am paying for dinner at a Michelin starred restaurant, I don't expect there to be children present.

I am sure some children will sit very quietly and unobtrusively, as you would expect the adults to in such a setting. However, this cannot be guaranteed. Babies can become upset or ill, they can vomit without warning and young children can become noisy or disruptive. And you might be sure that your little angel would never do such a thing, but many children would. I am prepared to overlook this in a branch of Ask or Prezzo, I would not be too impressed if it happened in a very smart restaurant where my dinner was costing £100 or more a head and I might have saved up for months in order to afford it.

And if I was running such a restaurant, my target customer would not be someone who could not understand this.

I have 2 children. When they were young, I would not have dreamed of imposing them on others at a very smart restaurant.

MorganKitten · 10/11/2019 21:35

It’s always been on the website

TheNestedIf · 10/11/2019 21:43

It never fails to amaze me how hell bent some people are on forcing their child's presence on people who, for whatever reason, don't want it.

Refusing entry to a child is not the same as refusing entry because of race, religion, gender, etc. Most adults of any race, religion, gender know what is expected in a restaurant and are able to control their behaviour. A lot of children won't know and will be unable not to act impulsively. It's the behaviour, or the potential for it, that people, sometimes, don't want to be around.

There are hundreds of excellent, child-friendly restaurants. Just go to one of those and leave those who want a child-free evening to enjoy it in peace.

WineOrGinOrBoth · 10/11/2019 21:47

My dc were fairly well behaved thanks @woodchuck99. Other peoples aren’t necessarily. I wouldn’t have dreamt of taking my well behaved lot to a non child friendly restaurant & caused a scene like the op. Plenty of other places to eat with dcs. If we wanted child free eating places. Everyone is happy.

SoupDragon · 10/11/2019 21:53

Lets just not pretend that it is other than discrimination that we, as a society, decide to allow.

Children in full tome education get free travel on London buses/trams on the basis of their age. That is discriminating against those who are older.

Or doesn't that fit your criteria?

XXcstatic · 10/11/2019 21:54

When they were young, I would not have dreamed of imposing them on others at a very smart restaurant

Yes, I can't think of anything less relaxing than taking a baby to a smart restaurant, and having to worry that it would ruin 30 other people's meals by crying and or pooing. And the people I would be most worried about would be parents of small children, desperate for an evening off.

Threads like these about taking children into adult-orientated environments are only started by people who are too self-centred to care about anyone else.

stucknoue · 10/11/2019 21:54

I replied earlier but I've just got in from dinner where an approximately 3 month old baby cried for much of it, the parents were up down constantly, brushing past me each time they paced with their infant. Now this place allows kids so they were not asked to leave but you can understand why many restaurants don't want tiny kids. There's places locally that say 12 and up which I have no issue with because there's loads of appropriate places to dine with kids

TheNestedIf · 10/11/2019 22:01

If age based discrimination is a bad thing, incidentally, I have a chimney that needs sweeping...

sunglasses123 · 10/11/2019 22:01

We went to Gordon Ramsey’s in Chelsea and whilst they don’t ban children they don’t provide kids menus or high chairs yet a large family of 10 turned up with a toddler who had to sit on one of the family’s laps. Why on earth when you are spending £150 per person would you do that? Just why......

shiningstar2 · 10/11/2019 22:03

The op asked if she was being unreasonable and she has had a very clear answer. I don't understand the reasoning that because her small baby wasn't being disruptive on this particular evening that the rules shouldn't apply to her. The reason the restaurant has a particular ambience in the evening is because it is child free. If the restaurant relaxes it's rules for one it has to for others. The whole ambience of the place would be quite different if there were three or four babies in there. No way would one of them not start crying at some point or require attention which would draw the eyes of other diners. It is extremely entitled to take the attitude that oh well on this occasion there was only my baby there so why couldn't they accommodate me.

As has been proved by the responses on this site, many parents themselves look forward to a child free evening in a good restaurant as a rare special treat. On occasion I have found parents with the op's attitude once they have children themselves who would have been the first to complain about children in childfree spaces themselves before they had children of their own.

marriageisafullonmerger · 10/11/2019 22:06

My 3yo is discriminated against as it costs £4 for him to get into soft play. It doesn't cost anything for my 8mo niece.

midnightmisssuki · 10/11/2019 22:08

Amaya is amazing - and if it really was your favourite restaurant, you would know their policy. I have children and I go there purposely because I know I won’t be disturbed by crying babies. YABU.

Oppopotomouse · 10/11/2019 22:10

Horrible comments. OP Flowers

sweeneytoddsrazor · 10/11/2019 22:10

One of our local soft play centres is for under 12s only. Another local family attraction only allows adults if they are with a child. I will be claiming discrimination against them @BiggestJulie, do you think I have a case?

aurynne · 10/11/2019 22:10

"5 weeks baby's don't make much fuss usually, they usually have that gorgeous little cry like a little goat not the loud shrill howl of older children."

As a midwife, I beg to differ...

Contraceptionismyfriend · 10/11/2019 22:12

It may not even be down to the restaurant. If their license says no under 18s. Then it literally means that.

Oppopotomouse · 10/11/2019 22:13

Posted too soon. I have three older children and with a newborn it wouldn't have occurred to me to check the small print.

Review on Tripadvisor in case someone else misses the small print.

All Bar One (not quite in the same league!) didn't allow buggies and I've yet to go there since. Flowers

LolaSmiles · 10/11/2019 22:16

As a society, we can decide that this is right or this is wrong, but we should be clear that we are deciding that small children and babies are not protected in the same way we protect others. Lets just not pretend that it is other than discrimination that we, as a society, decide to allow
In which case can we also add:
No more infants on knees go free on planes.
No more child fares.
No age tiered prices for soft play as a 6 month and a 6 year old totally get the same deal
No limits on child labour.
Children of all ages should have the vote
If you want to sign up to the armed forces then you should be able to do so at any age. It's not society's job to piss on the dreams of children for being younger.

It would be awful to acknowledge the difference between adults and children wouldn't it. Smile

Swipe left for the next trending thread