Thrown out of restaurant for bringing newborn baby

[toddlermom]

Hi all,

Just need to vent and wondering if I should complain and if so who to. We went to one of my (ex) favourite London restaurants (Amaya) last night (wearing 5 week old baby in cloth sling, as I often do).

Walked in, got to our table, I took off my jacket and went to sit down but the waitress stopped me and said I couldn't sit down and had to leave the restaurant as she could now see (that I had taken off jacket) that I had a baby and 'children aren't allowed in the restaurant". I said it was a baby - who was asleep - and unlikely to wakeup - and she said it didn't matter, they don't let any children in the restaurant.

The manager came over, said the same thing, they were really, really rude and unfriendly. Didn't say sorry or sympathise, empathise in any way.

They don't have any social media presence so I can't even tweet them and vent on social. I could write a letter to the owner? Or is there anything else I should do? Or AIBU and just not go there again? Any advice welcome!! Thank you!

Yabu and vvvvvvv rude. Grow up you a mum and making other mums look bad. First ever cf ive seen on mn. Shocked!

First ever cf ive seen on mn. Shocked!

Did you just join up today?

OP it doesn't look as if you have anything to complain about but I must admit I didn't realise that some restaurants don't allow children. Mine are grown up now and were born in the days before websites but I have eaten out quite a lot and never considered asking re children policy unless it was a pub. No need to feel humiliated but it is a policy that would really put me off a restaurant. Similarly when the DC were tiny and I was breastfeeding it would never have occurred to me not to being them to a night out, a wedding or a party ; this seems at odds with what I read on mumsnet about invitations.

Quite often when people don’t get their own way in restaurants/shops they say the staff were “rude”
In too many cases rude = didn’t do what I demanded.
And being asked to leave does not = thrown out

@KatherineJaneway I took a small baby to a 2 Michelin starred restaurant (25+ years ago) and there was not the slightest problem. It was (is) a French rstaurant, and they welcome well-behaved children. In this instance they offered me a private room to breastfeed my baby, but it was not necessary. She mostly slept, and when she needed feeding I threw a shawl over my front and fed her quietly and discreetly. No other diner was was troubled at all, and the owner (Raymond Blanc) was delighted to have her, and the waiting staff had no worries.

That’s the way for a restaurant to behave. Treat ISSUES if they arise (however they arise). Welcome all quiet guests, whatever their age.

I can see why you are annoyed OP. I think as most restaurants do allow children nowadays they should tell people when they book a table that it is a childfree time. As children are accepted at this restaurant sometimes it could easily confuse people. Most people surely don't spend their time reading the website before booking especially if it's somewhere been before.

Whilst I can see why some restaurants may not like very young children, if they don't accept any children at all I would avoid them in the future as I think that attitude is quite snotty.

Off-topic, but has anyone read the allergy policy?

"We regret that we are unable to serve customers with peanut allergy / intolerances at our restaurants.

This is because all our dishes can contain traces of nut. We are therefore unable to advise that any dish is nut-free. We cook extensively with nuts. There could be accidental cross-contamination from cooking oils, utensils or nut particles since we do not operate in a surgical environment. We are therefore unable to accept liability as a result of this."

The above makes me doubt the chef's ability to run a kitchen. I'm all for a child-free restaurant, but I only eat at places where the chef has confidence he knows what's going into his dishes.

@BiggestJulie

That was one restaurant, not an indicator for all Michelin restaurants.

And being asked to leave does not = thrown out.
Agree! I've heard this so many times on MN,and other places. Always get an image in my mind of them being roughly manhandled out of the door,when in actual fact,they were just told (usually politely) that they couldn't stay.

I made a restaurant reservation last summer (on holiday so didn't know anything about it, just seen good reviews) and asked for a table for four, two adults, two children. They asked the DC's ages as they had a "no children under 6" policy. Ours are older so wasn't a problem.

Their venue, their rules.

and no WAY is it true that every other country is super-friendly (towards kids,) whilst the UK is hostile towards them

No, it really is true. The English are quite hateful towards children compared to other places

LOL - I invite you to rock up to dinner at most of the Michelin-starred restaurants in France with a baby and see what happens. You won't need to be thrown out by the staff -the withering contempt of your fellow diners will have you running for cover. The French are refreshing unapologetic about believing that child-free time is crucial for parents' sanity. Lots of expensive French restaurants do welcome children at lunchtime but, at dinner? Tu dois me faire une blague.

French parents would be unlikely even to try the PFB routine at a posh restaurant because it is not socially acceptable to be so gauche, unsophisticated and entitled.

The above makes me doubt the chef's ability to run a kitchen. I'm all for a child-free restaurant, but I only eat at places where the chef has confidence he knows what's going into his dishes
You'd doubt the competency of the chef because they're openly saying they can't guarantee there's no nut particles in the air?

I can actually see how this might happen on baby number 3, especially if the others are still under 5. In comparison a single newborn seems positively tranquil and easy to soothe. However that will not be the perspective of older or child free diners so YABU but I can sort of see your point.

I think that allergy advice is actually very sensible.

This is one of the things I love about the French. They don’t do pandering

YANBU. I’m shocked by the attitude of so many posters here towards a newborn baby. There are some very bitter people out there.
The restaurant were unreasonable.

In comparison a single newborn seems positively tranquil and easy to soothe

It's not just noise, or the potential for noise, though. What if the baby fills its nappy? OK, at 5 weeks old, it may not be too smelly, but there's a good chance of a poonami.

Meanwhile, back on our planet

@ferntwist

How? They have a no child policy during certain hours and an age restriction. That's a perfectly acceptable policy to have. When I have a night without my kids, I want to go out for dinner and I don't want to hear other kids crying, moaning or generally being loud. And I don't want to hear iPads and phones playing cartoons. I want a child free environemnt.

There is a demand for child free place a to eat. Businesses will fill that demand. Do want matter a bit if the kid is newborn or not. Doesn't matter if they only gurn for 5 minutes or scream for 2 hours. No kids means no kids.

I've had 4 newborn babies and always appreciated the fact that some restaurants are childfree. This one isn't even children all the time.

@KatherineJaneway I was responding to your statement:

It's a Michelin starred restaurant, not a Wetherspoons. Not going to be a child friendly place.

to point out that just because it is Michelin starred doesn’t mean it isn’t going to be child unfriendly. Some (and some of the best) are just the opposite.

The restaurant were unreasonable for adhering to their clearly laid out policy, @ferntwist? Okay then.

It was your favourite restaurant yet you had never noticed the lack of kids?

If it smells like bullshit.....

What’s the problem,no kids means NO kids!!

Last few times we've been out with our grandchildren they, 2 and 10 months hardely made a sound unlike the reast of the supposed adult patrons;(