To stop accepting everyday sexism and never use Asda again

[Canadalife]

We had an Asda order delivered this evening. One item was incorrect (much more expensive item delivered instead of what we ordered....duck instead of chicken!). Being (stupidly) honest I raised it with the driver. He explained that the orders must have been muddled, Fair enough! He searched through the orders. No luck finding the chicken. I said ‘we need something to roast on Sunday’.

He kept calling me “love” throughout the conversation. When I said “please don’t call me love” he accused me of abusing him on the doorstep. I spoke firmly but was in no way confrontational or aggressive, didn’t shout, swear et cetera. Notably he didn’t call either my daughter or husband anything, but did refer to me consistently as love. I felt seriously patronised and belittled.

My husband said “no one is abusing you, she just asked you not to patronise her by calling her love”. The driver repeated that he would not be abused and drove off.

We certainly did not swear, shout or get angry. I am very upset and hate confrontation. I put up with lots of everyday sexism as we all do. I am totally fed up. AIBU to never shop at Asda again.

To never use ASDA again would suggest you think this man was a spokesperson for ASDA.

Seriously? Wow

I've realised I missed a post early on where OP did say he called it her after being asked not to.

If it's true that changes my mind about how reasonable the driver was, though I still find OPs description a little inconsistent.

He was a sexist twat and good on you for calling him out on it.

the appropriate response to being asked that is to stop using it

Which the driver did. (said donquixotedelamancha)

That's really interesting, I, and obviously many many others have understood the OP as if the driver continued to call her love after she asked him not to. But I now read it again, and you are right, that is not what it says!

Oh, I take that back, sorry!

You'd have hyper ventilated if he'd called you my lovely then. Please get a grip

Are you ever coming back to this thread love?

In any case I believe there is a strong class component here.

Pathetic reaction imo.

Oh ffs , I could not imagine making this into such a big deal.

Why did your DH get involved? Surely you found that sexist? He clearly doesn't think you are capable of handling this all by yourself.

I'm so sick of everyone being offended by everything , go and find yourself a grip, love OP.

Being called love is not sexism.. you need a refresher course in what matters.

Different regions in the UK have different colloquial names , like Duck...in Nottingham. Lover in South Devon. Love or mate in London etc.
It is not sexist...it is for both sexes.

Even if he asked you to stop which was you being rude. Why would you make him uncomfortable? Were you looking down on him because of his job?

I'm old now but for a long time have been totally naffed off by spotty teenagers calling me love, in that special voice they use for old people (ie 30 ish plus). And anyone calling me 'hun'

On the other hand I live in South Yorks and 'Love' is the standard term here and with no undercurrents, I have no issue.

I wish I had a camera when, on a tram in Sheffield, the male southerner I was with was called 'Luv' by the male conductor. It was priceless. I could hardly explain for laughing.

Christ, your life must be exhausting.

I can't believe you got upset about being called Love.

What's with all the class bullshit? Because OP gets food delivered? Fucking hell so do I, and I earn less than a delivery driver.

That's really interesting, I, and obviously many many others have understood the OP as if the driver continued to call her love after she asked him not to.

Indeed, it explicitly says the opposite; but I had missed a later post which says he did continue.

As written OPs account seems odd. Either OP was unclear (not unusual) and the driver was a sexist dick (sadly also not unusual) or OP was being a rude snob and has omitted the way she spoke to him, making the account disjointed.

Can't we just all agree that regional/cultural idioms are lovely but when asked not to call someone something it's polite to stop?

I call everyone darling 😬

Also if that’s truly the worst thing that’s happened to you today, I’d say you were having a pretty good day! Sometimes a bit of perspective is needed!

You don’t half have some airs and graces for someone who shops at Asda.

At least he didn’t call you ducks .

YABVU

Worry about legit sexism not some trivial 5 min encounter.

Too many people get bent over a word and ignore behaviour that matters.

I said ‘we need something to roast on Sunday’ I'm sorry but this made me laugh. I used to work in a supermarket and we would talk/laugh about customers like you (it made us feel a tiny bit better about being spoken to like something customers had stepped in).

Christmas time was the worst if we ran out of things. I remember we ran out of sponge fingers for trifles. A woman shouted at me and included "how am I going to make a trifle? I must make a trifle for Christmas!"

It sounds like you were rude and your husband tried to intimidate him, acting like the big man. I'd say your husband is the sexist one for jumping in as he clearly thought the woman incapable.

@Ilovethekitties sorry but being called love,petal, pet or chick is not sexism. Yes it can be annoying if you dont like the term but it is not sexism. As pps have said in certain areas it is used evenly across all genders. He was a twit for repeating it after she asked him.not too. But thats it.

I have experience being harassed sexually in the work place. I started my working life in an environment where it was "normal" to have your arse slapped as you walked across the factory floor, or being called over with such endearments as "hey tits its your turn to brew up" And you were laughed at for suggesting it was inappropriate. I have as recently as 2 weeks ago experienced a female tell me "a man should be doing that/its not a womans job".

Had he have called her something rude i may have been inclined to agree but i cannot understand the fuss over "love". I personally dont like being called "duck" it makes.my skin crawl because of some nasty fucker i once had experience with used that term all of the time. Yet i would not feel the need to complain, possibly resulting in a disciplinary for the worker, if a delivery person or shop worker called me it. And i certainly would not boycott a shop over the actions of one worker.
I am sure asda will.miss your custom sooooo much they'll go bust !?

I personally would rather be greeted by someone with abit of personality and individuality over a robot reading from a script and everyone being called "miss/mrs/sir" etc.

If love is sexist we need to also ban terms such as bro, mate, Blud, boss...

You’re being ridiculous. Just get over yourself