It’s all gone a bit nethuns

[nethunsinthatway]

Well come on... it has hasn’t it?

I know it’s been done to death “I remember when all was fields, joules and shark Hoovers” but Aibu to say... last month or so...

Or am I just getting old?

Active thread on AIBU: OP twice asking if she had 'Right Away' while driving.

@2020bump - God yes. Absolutely this.

There’s a reason we migrated here and not “over there”.

I would hope that we can all help posters who ask for it and not judge because of a comma or two, some of us are dyslexic some did not have the benefit of an education, not everyone comes from the UK but we are all people some of whom may need a bit of help from a friendly poster.

"Gotta let all those with worse grammar than us know how inferior and unwelcome they are, eh?"

There has always been an expectation that those who can write in standard English do so.

Thus is rooted in basic consideration, arising from the knowledge that there are posters who use assistive technology to access the site, as well as those who are dyslexic or who do not have English as their first language. Non-standard spellings, especially txt-spk types of contractions, can make it very much harder for them

Two things that I find seem to crop up frequently now that were definitely not a part of MN in the past: a greater tolerance of unreasonable behaviour by men and the use of asterisks in swear words.

Hubbies seem to be popping up everywhere, as do kiddies.

@PortiaCastis this isn’t about not being supportive. However (and am itching to cite actual posts), there seems to be an air of “daily mail sad face” in a lot of posts. That’s not someone wanting support. That’s someone wanting affirmation that their ridiculous complaint/whinge is justified.

Is it the turn of this thread topic now?

So the rota goes:
‘why are women who aren’t mothers posting here?’,
‘I’m new here but you should all behave how I say’,
‘I hate these words and phrases’
‘it’s all gone to shit around here. I remember when it was funny’.

Oh and I’ve been pulled up by the grammar police many a time. It’s not the SPAG - it’s the while tone of some posts.

“My mate she done this, so I done that back, Aibu”

PortiaCastis
I agree with you. There's no need to be an arse about spelling, punctuation and grammar when someone is clearly asking for help.

pigsDOfly
You're right on increasing tolerance of poor behaviour from men, or hubbabubs that need looking after and catering for after a hard day's work.

That said, I do think sometimes MN can be a little bit hostile to reasonable considerations and can jump quickly it red flag/abuse. Eg. Tell someone to LTB because DH doesn't clean the kitchen properly because it's clearly him trying to be controlling, when an alternative is "maybe he doesn't see the point because every time he has got on with it, you've told him he's doing it in the wrong order, loading the dishwasher incorrectly etc and different approaches to cleaning doesn't mean he's acting like a man child to get out of it... He's just an adult with a different approach".

I agree OP but again?

"Is it really any worse recently though?"

'Worse' is subjective, but it's certainly changed. I think that came with the rapid increase in the number of users, MN before about 2011 was quite a different place.

Maintaining the distinctive lingo is, I think, important in maintaining what remains of the sense of community.

My theory is that Netmums posters have a style similar to those on Facebook groups.

There is a low tolerance for direct, straight to the point advice and swearing is considered offensive.

Lots of “xx”, imperfect grammar and “you ok hun?”

@lolasmiles - I agree with you on that.... ltb because he didn’t wipe his feet on the mat etx.

Yet this whole thread is whining about others!

hmm how judgmental are you? I don’t actually have children, so not sat in a playground judging anyone.

Pot. Kettle. Swap playground for mumsnet thread and there you go.

Actually this thread represents the changes that I have seen in my 7 years here. As far as I’m concerned the talk boards have become meaner and more unpleasant and less and less supportive.

ltb because he didn’t wipe his feet on the mat etx.

I think you're right on style wing. It's not the frequency of the word "Hun" but more "hunning" behaviour where regardless of the content in the OP, or glaring omissions that could be quite important to the quality of advice given, the default reply is unquestioning affirmation.
Or, in relationships threads where it's fairly obviously a problematic situation where it's not happy or healthy (so not LTB for not pegging washing out / is DH having a hobby unreasonable ones), some posters will suggest that the OP cuts her husband some slack, maybe he's just tired, you shouldn't expect him to do anything but play on his Xbox all Saturday because he's been hard at work all week, maybe you should have a date night to get the romance back etc as if the purpose of a woman is to wait on her husband hand and foot.

So, what was Mumsnet like in the good old days?

Ah... another 'why is everyone on MN too nice, pandering and kissy' thread. They are even more frequent than the 'why is everyone on MN so combative, vile and bitchy' threads.

As for the grammar and spelling thing, that's an internet-wide issue. I'm not sure why you'd really expect a parenting site to be immune to it.

So, what was Mumsnet like in the good old days?

Pretty similar really. Full of people maundering on about what MN was like in the old old days.

@nethunsinthatway I agree with you. Have to wonder why a foreigner can learn difference between of and have, but natives can't.

And yes to the head patting! If people just want a moan and are not looking for advice, just say so. It's fine to just want a moan. Don't let tens of people spend time trying to help you when you have no intention of doing anything and than just get pissy when called up on it.🙄

Mumsnet has become a little boring. I used to lurk for hours. I loved the feminist threads which were controversial, educational and entertaining. Now they are obsessed with the transgender issues. The health threads were full of genuine advice seekers rather than everyone moaning about the NHS. The humour was dry, alternative and quirky with lots of silly threads which tend to be either ignored or shot down now when mumsnetters just don’t see the irony or get the humour.
I felt it was much more inclusive.
Most threads now feel like real life conversations where people love the sound of their own voice but rarely listen to anyone else’s argument resulting in the feeling that no one actually reads or values your input. Posters only seem to look at the answers to their own posts and only engage with one or two posters. It’s a bit like being in a nightclub and trying to make yourself heard or for that matter Twitter.

I'm with you OP. I've been on MN for 17, yes 17 years. Most of what I loved about it has gone. I particularly despise the joy hoovers.

I think nethuns is definitely the place for you if you call people hun, add kisses to your posts and refer to your baby as ickle and your husband as hub/hubby/hubster.

Also, those who type f*k and c*t instead of fuck and cunt.

There has definitely been a recent swift decline in general quality. I came here for the acerbic wit not barely intelligible drivel. Of course I wouldn’t judge people in real life but I would also chose not to talk to them or listen.