To think if a strange person banging on your door at 5am is scary.

[CandlesBlanketsandTea]

This morning I got woken up by the entry phone to my flats, it was a drink guy asking for someone to ring him a taxi. I rang him the taxi because I thought that was the right thing to do, it's cold outside. I rang the taxi and we were chatting he wanted me to come down, because he was drunk I didn't commit either way. I put the phone down and start getting ready for work and he rings again asking where I am and whether he should bother waiting if I don't come down. I just reiterated that the taxi was coming. He'd spotted that the downstairs door to the flats wasn't locked. Next thing I know he's knocking on my front door and although it's locked it only has one basic lock on it, no chain or deadbolt and it scared me. I went into the bathroom and rang the police who actually said I should check what he wants! The operator had no compassion and basically baulked at the fact I was hiding in my bathroom. 18 minutes later the police arrive and tell me I shouldn't have ordered him a taxi. I'm just upset with the way the police responded effectively blaming me for being a good Samaritan. I feel so unsettled, mostly by the police. Was I wrong to order him a taxi?

Get a proper lock for your door ASAP.
You were nice to call a taxi. I can see the police point of view too.

I wouldn't have ordered the taxi but I've had a horrible experience a few years ago living in a rough area

To be honest I wouldn't have entertained him at all.
If he's too drunk to get himself home that's his problem.
But yes I would have called the police when he got as far as my front door saying come out etc
That's scary

I just thought ordering the taxi would get rid of him quicker, the entry phone is really loud and I didn't want him to keep ringing it plus I have elderly neighbours. I can't get over the operator asking me to check what he wants!

I rent my flat and the landlord isn't exactly open to new ideas, it took me 6 months to get a peep hole installed. Also because of some weird reason the door opens outwards.

@2020bump I'm sorry to hear that.

I don't think you've done anything wrong here. I would've ordered a taxi too as it's kind but also a practical way to get rid of him.
Maybe make your own arrangements for a dead lock and don't tell the landlord.

Something similar happened to me the other night and the police were lovely. The police came and took him away for the night and then came back and reassured me. I think you were treated very badly

the police were wrong imo, you did your best

did the taxi come?

I’m surprised the police said that
Some misunderstanding perhaps especially as you called the taxi initially?

In future, don’t get involved in that way, he’d have wandered off eventually. Can you mute the entry phone in case this kind of thing happens again?

Also because of some weird reason the door opens outwards.

It's more difficult for someone on the outside to kick it in - maybe for security reasons. I'd have been worried but I probably wouldn't have phoned the police.

I had this happen to me when I was 17. Which is a long time ago now, I've not forgotten it though. I too called a taxi as I just didn't know how to handle the situation. I mean I tried not to but he kept on ring after the times I refused. So it's an easy thing to say you shouldn't when you're not in the situation and feel threatened.

(BTW, your door opening outwards is a fire safety thing.)

That's not nice I had similar when I lived in a flat; I was just wearing a top and knickers as I was home by myself and there was a man looking through my letterbox asked me to let him in. Likelihood 0%! And then you feel so vulnerable because they're already in the building.

If he was just going to carry on ringing random bells all night I think ringing the taxi was the right thing to do.

Please tell me you didn’t phone 999

There was nothing wrong with calling him a taxi but then you continued chatting to him, which created the image you were open to being friendly. In his drunken state he probably read more into that than a typical person would. Where I think you went wrong was in refusing to tell him you wouldn’t be coming down and you had to get on with your day so you’d have to end the conversation.

Also, you probably should have just ignored him at your door, or told him to go away, or you’d call the police. Give it ten minutes or so before actually calling the police. Chances are, he was just an over-friendly drunk who got the wrong idea, rather than a person out to do you harm. You were a bit quick off the mark to call the police and, IMO, if everyone acted so quickly in similar, trivial circumstances, the police would be even more on their knees.

You did nothing wrong. It's this idiot that's at fault.

I can imagine it was scary for you. With a strange guy banging on your door, I don't think you reacted too quickly by calling the police.

For what it's worth I would have ignored him from the start - its easy to say that with hindsight, but I think you will probably do the same if this ever happens again after this idiot came knocking!!!

You should have told him to fuck off as soon as you knew he wasn't someone you knew and was actually a random drunk.

You should not have engaged him in conversation. You shouldn't have called a taxi for him. Drunk men are not your responsibility.

Your elderly neighbours could have called the police themselves if they were bothered by the loud door buzzer.

You need to start thinking about your personal boundaries. You took on far too much responsibility for the morning's situation and you ended up in a situation where you felt out of your depth, basically through your own poor judgement.

I'm not sure if the taxi came, it might well have but when I was in the bathroom. Mine is the only door in the block that opens outwards in this block of flats.

The second time he rang asking if I was coming down I just said the taxi was coming and it was very early in the morning and I had to get ready. If he really wanted the taxi why did it matter if I came down or not?

I wouldn't have rung the police if he hadn't entered the flats downstairs and came up to my door and was knocking it. My elderly neighbour sometimes leaves his door open for carers and paramedics (he has COPD). That door is adjacent to mine and it's obvious it's open because it's not fully shut. I didn't have any issues when he was downstairs speaking to me on the entry phone but I don't want to deal with a drink stranger at my front door at 5am, it scared me.

The elderly neighbour nearest to me is fairly deaf.

There’s no way you should have ordered him a taxi OP or engaged with him at all for that matter, especially since he was outside your home. In the nicest possible way you sound very naive! Did you pay for his journey also?

I get why you did it but I wouldn’t have rung a taxi , I’d have put my entry phone on silent (you could with mine ) and ignored him.
Used to get loads of people ringing mine at 2/3am just to be let into the block ,so started to put it on silent

@mathanxiety I rang someone a taxi I didn't offer to drive him home, I fail to understand how that is taking on too much responsibility? I was doing someone a favour. I was concerned because it's been bloody cold outside.

I love that so many people think I was in the wrong I just rang someone a taxi, not invited them in made them breakfast and drove them home.

Of course the OP called 999, I doubt she had the time to wait 45 minutes to get through the non emergency line.