To think if a strange person banging on your door at 5am is scary.

[CandlesBlanketsandTea]

This morning I got woken up by the entry phone to my flats, it was a drink guy asking for someone to ring him a taxi. I rang him the taxi because I thought that was the right thing to do, it's cold outside. I rang the taxi and we were chatting he wanted me to come down, because he was drunk I didn't commit either way. I put the phone down and start getting ready for work and he rings again asking where I am and whether he should bother waiting if I don't come down. I just reiterated that the taxi was coming. He'd spotted that the downstairs door to the flats wasn't locked. Next thing I know he's knocking on my front door and although it's locked it only has one basic lock on it, no chain or deadbolt and it scared me. I went into the bathroom and rang the police who actually said I should check what he wants! The operator had no compassion and basically baulked at the fact I was hiding in my bathroom. 18 minutes later the police arrive and tell me I shouldn't have ordered him a taxi. I'm just upset with the way the police responded effectively blaming me for being a good Samaritan. I feel so unsettled, mostly by the police. Was I wrong to order him a taxi?

Ignore ignore ignore. He's not your responsibility, he's a grown man and he knew what he was doing. I mean this with kindness - toughen up and trust your instincts.

@Dongdingdong no I didn't pay for his taxi or offer to pay for it, I just rang a taxi a fairly easy thing for me to do. I thought it would get rid of him quicker than telling him to F off.

I wouldn't have answered an entry phone at 5am. I'd have assumed it was a drunk or someone messing about. What other reason could there be? If he'd got no response he would have given up.

Okay you rang a taxi. Why carry on talking to him after that? You actually created more noise, upheaval and danger for your neighbours than if you'd ignored him.

Don't understand why you would think someone could kick down an outward opening door.

Your vulnerable and elderly neighbour leaves their own door propped open overnight and anyone can get through the main door? That's absolutely terrible.

Who the hell doesn't have a mobile phone these days and has to resort to knocking on doors asking for favours. I'd be telling him to fuck off before turning the entry phone to silent.

I think people are too critical. Just because you chatted to him didn't mean he was entitled to come upstairs and harass you. That's on him not you. You couldn't predict him behaving like that.

And to the poster who said they hope she didn't call 999 - why shouldn't she call 999? A strange man banging on the door? I think that's pretty reasonable.

The reason I answered it was because the downstairs door should be locked at night but some neighbours forget to either lock it or if it is locked take their key and end up ringing everyone.
We've had issues with the downstairs door and have reported it but the management company of the building haven't addressed the issue. I'll ring them again today. It really needs to have an automatic close on it.

I didn't keep talking to him, I spoke to him twice.

@PanGalaticGargleBlaster his battery died.

Something very similar happened to me and the police told me off for not calling 999 it turned out he was a violent sex offender who had tried other people's doors and they had a huge hunt for him and luckily caught him.

The elderly neighbour does have a key safe but has gotten in the habit of leaving his door open. It's difficult because he's scared he'll have an episode and the paramedics won't be able to get entry. I'll speak to him and the family friend who is NOK.

I rang someone a taxi I didn't offer to drive him home, I fail to understand how that is taking on too much responsibility

Well surely you've seen now why you should not have got involved. He attached himself to you. I'd be worried in case he came back! You should not have rung him a taxi. If he had been elderly or something that's different.

I wouldn't engage with a random drunk man, esp when alone. Harsh but not your problem to get him home. The way he carried on talking to you and and then came up the stairs makes me think he had dodgy intentions therefore calling the police seems reasonable. You need to complain to your LL again about the door situation, that doesn't sound safe.

Op having worked as a Police Officer I would agree with the Police here.
There are many people who latch on to the good deeds of others and don't have boundaries especially if drink and drugs are involved. I have tons of examples if people under the influence behaving questionably, they don't respond to kindness to n the way they would if sober.

I understand why you thought you were doing the right thing but you inadvertently walked in to this situation. It isn't your fault but next time you need to understand that sometimes telling someone to f off is ok.

I know this from experience, it's not necessarily a bad thing.

Of course you shouldn't have called him a taxi
A) you are not responsible for a strange drunk grown man getting home. It's not so cold that he'd come to any harm and he has legs, he can walk to a taxi rank
B) if he was that pissed he may not have got in the taxi, may have puked in it or failed to pay. You've called them from your phone number risking getting a black mark against your number
C) it's NEVER a good idea to engage AT ALL with drunk strange men. Ever. Which you now hopefully realise, because he took the opportunity to transgress your boundaries and harass you

Not even going to go into why it was stupid to keep chatting to him. Sheesh.

I'd have rung him a taxi told him it was on its way then refused to engage with him any further.

I think people are too critical. Just because you chatted to him didn't mean he was entitled to come upstairs and harass you. That's on him not you. You couldn't predict him behaving like that.

I think the whole point is that drunks are unpredictable and have no boundaries. So it's best not to engage with them.

What pick up name did you give the cab firm - Drunk guy standing on the step?

I probably wouldn’t have called a cab and definitely wouldn’t have engaged in conversation.

He gave me his first name. TBH the person answering the phone for the taxi company was more incoherent than the person at the front door.

You were trying to be nice and he took advantage of it. What a creep!

Next time when someone rings your door at that time I wouldn’t bother to answer. If it’s a family member or friend in need surely they would ring or text you first?

My best friend has a similar story, some upstairs neighbour has a tendency to get drunk, ring various neighbour’s intercoms from outside and once she is in, ringing my friends doorbell and even kicking the door and screaming: “let me in, let me in”! My friend is understandably scared of this person and called the police the last time it happened but they were too busy (city centre on a Friday night) that they told her to sort it out herself and maybe if they had time later in the night they would come around and check .

My advice to my friend was to completely ignore it, now matter how hard it is and if I were you I’d do the same in the future.

You did a nice thing and it backfired. I don't think you did anything wrong

Nice lot of victim blaming on this thread. You didn't do anything wrong, OP. Not at all. It was perfectly reasonable to call a taxi for this dickhead in order to get rid of him. While I think it's probably, as PP have said, that it was more a matter of him thinking, in his pissed-up state, that you were 'friendly' and might let him in than of him being dangerous, he still had no right to any more of your time than you were willing to give.

It’s not ‘victim blaming’. Don’t call the OP a victim! She isn’t victim - she just did what a lot of us do - engage with someone who we shouldn’t have (out of kindness or concern) and it ends up with them acting outrageously.

@mathanxiety really unnecessarily harsh there. Telling a drunk man to fuck off is not a good mood.

The thing that is weirdest to me is that you have a taxi number! I haven’t rung one for absolutely years

I would’ve phone him a taxi, told him I had done so and not engaged further with him at all.

If I had a dodgy feeling off the bat I would’ve told him I had called a taxi but actually called the police and told them a strange man was causing issues at the door to our flats where the elderly and vulnerable also live, basically pass the buck to the police so it’s their call to make about what to do next, they are after all trained to deal with this type of stuff. You

Last time I had some bugger banging on my door at stupid o’clock it was bailiffs for another flat (honest!) and they needed someone to buzz them in.

Worth having a quick chat with Citizens Advice about the lock situation. Also do note that your landlord has statutory obligations to carry out repairs, more on the CAB website.

www.citizensadvice.org.uk/