To get the absolute RAGE at posters who say 'DH says'

[Grobagsforever]

Reading a thread about whether poster is being unreasonable about petrol costs. Someone comes along 'DH has worked out the cost and it is...'

This happens ALL THE TIME on Mumsnet. They post as if DH is some kind of oracle. ON ANY ISSUE. They never explain why DH has superior knowledge e.g this DH can multiply 45 pence per mile by 300 better than anyone else..

Not TAT that is just an example

Nah. I read it as 'the other adult here with me says...', and for most of us it's a man. It's just a second opinion, a voice of agreement or dissent. I never hear it as 'a superior being has spoken'.

Funnily enough you rarely (ever?) see a woman posting 'my wife says'

What a daft OP. If you "defer" to someone else's opinion, it's probably because they know more about that particular subject . If I want to cite some information about deep-cut rock bands, I'll ask and quote dh. And indeed on technology. Dh is a tech nut and I (not totally proudly) live in the 17th century. This week dh asked me to go through some of his work and give an opinion. I know he often says to other people, "Irma says..." (because I am a bit of a know-all!!).

In some threads, I can't help using it to wind some posters up
They already put themselves into such a state about nothing, I can't help it. It's funny.

Yeah but on an anonymous forum what's the point of attributing the opinion to anyone, unless you think it adds weight to what you're saying? Just answer the question, no need to add "DH says" even if it is what he said. He isn't going to care and neither does anyone else.

I have a male colleague who bailed out of quite important customer facing meeting because his wife called him with an "emergency". He leapt into action, was unavailable for most of the day, and it turns out the emergency was that the dishwasher wasn't working.

I must have missed this on MN. I would only ever refer to DHs opinion in areas he has expertise. The thought to do so on random things never occurred to me. I don’t think I could do it with a straight face...

I defer to dh all the time. Mainly cos he's a bit of a brain box and spends half his life reading about stuff. He's a bit like Tyrion in that he knows stuff.
However I expect him to defer to me in areas where I CLEARLY know more than him!

As a DH I am forever being told "Mumsnet says.... therefore your wrong" I'm only here to see what I'm wrong about this week.

Yep, same as a thread I remember a few years ago asking people how much they earned and people posting their husband’s salaries

In some threads, I can't help using it to wind some posters up
They already put themselves into such a state about nothing, I can't help it. It's funny.

Whenever I see in future, I'll have mental picture of posters going "fucking incandescent" one after the other like a row of fountain fireworks on bonfire night.

Sometimes my DH says things.

Bastard.

LOL Dave

Trewster and Dave

Hahahahaha

Dave - think you mean “you’re”

Yeah but on an anonymous forum what's the point of attributing the opinion to anyone, unless you think it adds weight to what you're saying? Just answer the question, no need to add "DH says" even if it is what he said. He isn't going to care and neither does anyone else.

So remembering its mumsnet. And let's say the dhs advice/opinion is relevant.

You would prefer a poster to say its thwor advice?

So OP asks about something she was told at the job centre.

Another posters husband works and a job centre and she asks him. You would prefer that poster to say 'I work on a job centre and what you have been told is wrong. Ita actually xyz'.

Ita mumsnet. With advanced search. Likelihood is that at some point some will get accused of lying because in another thread they have been spotted saying f they work in finance or whatever?

If it's relevant, why does it matter where it comes from?

How fucking dare he, @Trewser !

I do this all the time but only because me and my dh are a team and I would want to check with him and also he would do the same with me. Not about small things tho, I definitely dont check before I buy things for the home...unless it's a big purchase. I just feel respect for each other is really important in our relationship and it works both ways.

So people discussing what happens in their marriage or family report what their husband has said? And that gives you the rage?? How utterly ridiculous. What do you expect them to put?

What does it matter if women ask their husbands something? You too are also not the oracle. Some people enjoy discussing things with their husbands and asking their input and weirdly enough don’t care whether this will inevitably offend you or whatever...

Go live alone if men are so repulsive to have an input in anything.

Does it bother you if someone say asks their husband about a plumbing problem if they (the husband) are a plumber and someone has asked about plumbing or just if they automatically defer to their DH?

What does it matter if women ask their husbands something?

because they are .. men .
Some posters go into an absolute frenzy if a male gets involved.. or even worst,... a HUSBAND!

what's hilarious is that I know some of my NCT friends - male - joined when they had babies and got into the fun of AIBU and so on. I am sure they are not the only one, and no one knows the sex and gender of any poster.

Maybe they use DH cause they are to lazy to do the calculations themselves, or if it gets called up as rubbish they have someone to blame?

@Bloomburger read the rtft asked and answered several times

Sorry Bananashake I don't have time, just got in and got to work in 5 as client arriving.

I used to all my late husband for his opinion on things and need ask me mine. I thought that was a sign of a healthy and respectful partnership. So I'm totally bemused by this OP.

If a man posted on a subject and said "my wife says" would that cause rage too?

And yes sometimes when a decision needed making I'd want to check with him first, just as I'd be pissed off if he made a decision they involved me, without consulting me. And there've been a gazillion threads here where women have complained at their partners doing just that.

MNetters seem to want to have their cake and eat it. Stop over thinking other people's posts in order to find the most negative spin.