... to want to scream- husband thinks my hobby is “deeply unattractive”

[DimensionalShambler]

It’s cold and rainy and all day I was looking forward to starting a new knitting project. After dinner I settled down with my wool and needles and and my husband started with the sighing. After the usual rigmarole I dragged it out of him… seeing me knit is “deeply unattractive”, it’s for sexless, boring, tedious women and he hates seeing my projects laying around because it’s a “stringy depressing mess” and I should find something more interesting to do with my time.

I’m absolutely furious at the sexism and stupidity but also really sad because I love knitting- it’s cozy and peaceful and meditative. But now it’s ruined.

I'm jealous you can knit! Don't listen to your disrespectful husband and let him spoil it or put you off, his negativity is unattractive. My dad used to make fun of my mum for knitting in the 90s and I think it put her off, so she never really showed me how. Now she doesn't care and she had taught her teenage granddaughters and they love it. When they are not on their phones or out with their friends, they are knitting!

My STBXH used to complain about all sorts
One thing that really got on his nerves was the fact that I love my makeup and beauty. I never used to take ages getting ready but he was very mysogynistic about it.
I didn’t care what he thought and even said he would leave me if I ever did anything like get my lips done (which I never did)

So glad he’s gone!

Knitting, he finds knitting unattractive? I expected to find out that you collected something gross, like toenail clippings, or blackheads!

My husband couldn't care less than I knit. He just accepts that it's something I love doing in the same way that I acknowledge his hobbies (but don't have any particular feelings about them). It sounds like your husband just wants to hurt your feelings, which is awful.

Point him in the direction of Kaffe Fassett - a man who knits and designs the most wonderful, colourful pieces of knitwear! Knitting is fantastic. I started at about 9 years old and still knit now, am in my 60s! For awhile I had a knitting circle of friends, we'd all sit and knit, jabber about our projects and gossip generally (and a couple were men, so not a women-only thing).

As someone said further up this thread, tell him to cast off!

But kaffe is a gay man?

@zero79me Why is his sexuality a problem? The poster was talking about a male knitter which is what Kaffe is.

I went to do my hobby (horse riding) yesterday. While I was out it rained thundered hailed and rained some more. I spent the whole hour and half lesson wishing I did an “indoor” hobby. Like knitting......

I’ve tried knitting. Can’t do it. I get so confused. I’m always so impressed at people who have a creative hobby like knitting and crocheting.

Telling you for your own good?!?! That's highly manipulative and abusive. Massive red flag. Telling you what hobbies you can do?!?! Controlling, domineering....

I agree with posters that I don’t think it’s about the knitting so much as a way of him pulling you down.

I’m useless at creative things but maybe I’ll start knitting.

Do you think he could be having an affair ?? This type of criticism seems typical to me , finding excuses reasons to defend his actions - are you happy otherwise ?? Knitting is a great skill and perfectly normal ,his response to it is not .

YABU OP and you know it. Everything - literally everything - a woman does must only be done to be considered attractive to your husband. That’s why we exist after all! To cook, clean and provide constant titillation for that special man in our lives.

First of all- really sorry that your knitting’s under threat- it’s a gorgeous thing to do.
I expect things might get a bit worse for you, now that you’ve had all these messages saying that your husband’s a giant twat, basically.
Obviously he’s not completely, or you wouldn’t have fallen in love with him, had a family etc..
On a serious note, it’s probably not about the knitting.. I suggest you find out what’s really upsetting him.
If you can’t find a way of making each other laugh about this, you might want to look a bit further to see what the problem really is. Nip it in the bud. ( or knit it in the bud !)

I just wanted to say this thread has inspired me to dig out my long abandoned needles and I’m now a good metre into a lovely new moss stitch scarf
I’m home sick at the moment so I did some of it in my undies on the sofa, I wonder if that’s sexy enough?

Make sure when he comes home you’re wearing nothing but the scarf

"He's a wennie, a turd, a monkey's butt." Indeed.

All you wannabe knitters - just do it! It's such a brilliant and rewarding hobby. There are so many great YouTube videos and beginners' books to help you. I learnt entirely from videos and books from total scratch. It's so satisfying to see your progress in a new skill.

And if any of you live near Glasgow or Paisley, I’ll happily meet up with you and give you a few pointers.

Pausing my crocheting of an enormous granny square to crochet some make up remover pads for my dd using baby knit cotton. I saw some in a shop for about £10 and thought "Shit, I could make those and watch telly and drink wine while I do it".

Maybe say you find male knitters sexy. See if he decides to take it up ;)
Seriously, he is being an arse. Does he feel he needs entertaining all the time? Can he not do his own hobby? What about cycling? I feel thats a dying hobby

I crochet, have dabbled in knitting but find it quite stressful. I also papercut pictures and have tried cross stitching. My dh would never say anything bad about what I create. He def would not say he finds me unsexy whilst doing my hobbies.

And if any of you live near Glasgow or Paisley, I’ll happily meet up with you and give you a few pointers

I do in fact, I bet I’d be a challenge 🤣

My mum and gran were amazing knitters. My gran knitted right up until she took the stroke which killed her aged 85. She knitted little matinee jackets and bootees for my eldest son who was born when she was 84. She knitted them all in lemon as we didn’t know the sex and finished and put the buttons on the “proper” side when he was born. They are up in our loft I’ll never throw them out, they are so precious, even the odd buttons on the jackets as her eyesight was going and she couldn’t see them as well. I’m welling up thinking about it, so much love and care in every stitch. Don’t get that from a coat out of Boden do you.

I’ve tried to learn a few times but never managed. I am left handed which may or may not make a difference, I think that may be why my mum and gran struggled to teach me. I tried to learn when my niece was a baby and got as far as learning to cast on and a few rows of plain knit but I kept dropping and adding stitches! I tried crochet but I was useless at that too.

I love the sound of knitting needles clacking reminds me of happy childhood times around my mum and gran.

Oh and I’m not going to comment on her sexlessness or otherwise but my gran was the least tedious and boring woman I’ve ever met! She was brilliant

Could we have an update, please OP?

Are you still in the spare room?
Is your dh still alive, and if so have you seen a solicitor?
Did you finish your knitting project and start a new bigger one?

Please .

Could you try some more preferred pursuits, perhaps

Bush scratching
Bogey flicking
Who can be most unwashed the longest etc

Maybe then he’ll think that knitting isn’t so bad?