to not want my ILs to come on holiday with us.

[Elphi]

Ok, we have been saving up for 4 years to go on holiday somewhere warm and sunny next year. Last 3 years we have visited ILs for a week or so. H has had fun, dcs and I get stressed. Fil is hyper critical of children, manners etc.Nothing and no one is ever good enough.
Now ILs want to join us on our much longed for holiday. I want to cry at the thought. Quite frankly I would rather not go. Am I being mean?

Are they worried that they won't see as much of you or their grandchildren that year? If you can make some other meeting up plans to soften the blow?

Can you (gulp) arrange to spend christmas with them if you do not already do so?

Oh Elphi. This is an awful thing indeed. I think you have to be the bad guy and tell them no. Or make dh do it. Whichever is less painful.

we did it once..never again even though dh has suggested we go on a long touring trip withthem..hah ha ..divorce bells ringing!! we went with my parents and his and my parents wanted to go home early !!says it all

If you can avoid going on hols with them - then do so. Get your dh to tactfully point out that you are all looking forward to a break together and were not planning on having anyone else along. Then b all means arrange a 'mini-break' at their place to ensure they gat time with the grandkids etc.

I am going on a holiday abroad with in-laws next year - it is paid for by them so am in no position to say no. I really am not looking forward to it - don't ant to go abroad, don't particularly want to with them again - yep already been on hols once - my sort of honeymoon!! but lets not go there

they are lovely people - but - well ykwim - good luck.

Does anyone happily go on holiday with their in laws?

It would be really great if we all could, wouldn't it? Then everyone would have a rest as childcare would be taken in turns etc. But I don't think many of us can go away with the in laws. I couldn't face it.

No, say no. I couldn't go with mine! As lovely as she is. Why not offer to go camping for few days with them instead, tell them will be 'so much fun'..

Will he say no for you, or will you have to do it?

Spandex - I would go on holiday with my MIL (she's divorced from my FIL), and my DH happily goes on holiday to my parents (they live in Cyprus). I should count myself lucky In fact, I've been on holiday by myself with my MIL (just the two of us sharing a room), and with my MIL, her DM and my DS1 (my MIL's mum paid for us all to go on a cruise, would have been rude to say no !) Poor DH had to work on both occasions.

That said, if the OP doesn't want her IL's on the holiday, I think it's perfectly reasonable to say no.

I'm shuddering at the thought of spending more than one day with IL.

Don't do it

Especially as you've saved for so long, it's your holiday not theirs!!!

YANBU. At all. Not read whole thread just skimmed but seems as though your dh agrees?

If this is the case then thats great. Get him to have the conversation with them (as you should expect to in tricky matters like this with your own parents). Maybe arrange a long weekend / other week to see them as a sweetener if you like but it does sound as though they are thoroughlly unpleasant to you and your dc's when you spend time together so even without you having saved for 4 years I would not think you were unreasonable for not wanting to spend a lot of time with them!!!!