Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think this person very lucky?

149 replies

PinkGlitter123 · 06/11/2019 16:15

  1. Separated from a long marriage but met a new man three months on and now blissfully happy.
  2. 50/50 childcare with ex so gets to socialise every other weekend with partner and go on lots of holidays and attend lots of fun events.
  3. Made lots of friends through partner
  4. Earns 125,000 a year but can choose when they work, no overnight travel or trips away and has every Friday off work.
  5. Two very clever and sociable children who have not been impacted by the separation at all.
  6. Close to sisters
OP posts:
ISawyouinTescoyesterday · 06/11/2019 18:15

I think it's always easy to assume other people are better off, but you don't know what goes on, Behind closed doors.

MoonlightBonnet · 06/11/2019 18:16

OP, is this post about yourself? Are you feeling like you don’t deserve your good luck?

It’s a bit of a strange post otherwise. You can’t possibly know whether the divorce has had no impact on that kids. That could be something that’s only seen at home. As is the quality of her relationship.

SafetyAdvice0FeedWhenAgitated · 06/11/2019 18:17

I think it's very obvious what OP wants from this thread.

Op wants to hear that the person is indeed incredibly lucky and it has nothing to do with hard work either at her job or on herself so OP feels better about her own life because it's not like the lucky one's one. OP just wasn't that incredibly lucky🤷

It's a lots of luck there. But there is obviously a lots of hard work going on too. Not just at work. The person obviously works on themselves too. Some of the "luck" is made.

CheersMedea · 06/11/2019 18:22

4. Earns 125,000 a year but can choose when they work, no overnight travel or trips away and has every Friday off work.

A job that pays £125,000 a year is not luck. That's hard work and promotion.

Cloudyyy · 06/11/2019 18:24

So she’s divorced, doesn’t see her children for half the time, has no idea if divorce has/ will have affected children in some way, got into another big relationship almost immediately after the breakdown of a long marriage... wow what a lucky woman ! She’s lucky in some ways and inlhjcky in others, like the majority of people.

SummerPavillion · 06/11/2019 18:26

OP it's actually useful that you feel you want a life more like hers, use that energy to make positive changes.

A year ago I bought 4 exercise books for the top areas in my life I wanted to change, and worked out plans. I've made quite a bit of progress.

Value yourself enough to make it happen!

LabellaChicca · 06/11/2019 18:28

5. Two very clever and sociable children who have not been impacted by the separation at all. poor kids

Coolwinter · 06/11/2019 18:37

I’d be happy for her. I think it is lovely when things work out especially if they had a horrible time for a bit.

And yes I do think I should have worked in IT...

morriseysquif · 06/11/2019 18:37

You don't know what goes on behind closed doors.

I look happy - but I'm not.

Spied · 06/11/2019 18:37

She wasn't so lucky when her marriage broke down. Bet the children didn't feel great about it either.
Bet she'd give up that salary to be able to be with her DC one hundred percent of the time and it's very likely she spends her weekends at these fun events thinking about her DC and wishing she was with them.
Three month relationship hardly offers much security either. It's always amazing in the early days...

riotlady · 06/11/2019 18:38

She sounds like an entirely normal person, albeit financially better off than most of us? Some things have gone well- good job, lovely kids- and some things not so well- shock divorce.

ElleDubloo · 06/11/2019 18:43

Maybe she tries to focus on the positives in her life, and you don’t know about the difficulties she copes with? Anyone with a broken marriage I wouldn’t call lucky.

HazelBite · 06/11/2019 18:45

Your post Op is slightly bitter.

As a PP said this person despite disapointments, has got on with life and made the best of it.
Everyone has their demons, their unbelievably shitty times, experience traumas that make them feel their heart has been ripped out, but it is not something we necessarily want to share, or dwell on with others who are not close to us. So we get on with life and try to make the best of the positives in our lives, which is what this lady is doing.

OP don't envy others it is a pointless exercise and damaging to your mental health.

(Seven weeks ago I lost the only grandson I am ever likely to have, do I envy my friends their gorgeous grandchildren ? No I feel happy for them that they are so blessed)

Don't envy OP just be pleased for her that she is managing to make the most of her life.

Josette77 · 06/11/2019 18:46

Sounds like she works hard, and has a good ability to get through hard times. This doesn't sound lucky to me.

00100001 · 06/11/2019 18:46

"The kids genuinely are not affected by the separation"

How could you possibly know this???

00100001 · 06/11/2019 18:47

They happily accepted their parents sudden separation and adjusted to living in two homes and a new step parent. With not a single issue? Confused

Bollocks.

PuppyMonkey · 06/11/2019 18:52

Even if it is just luck rather than her talent/personality/hard work/resilience etc - so what? Confused

Bluerussian · 06/11/2019 19:11

It's good to hear a happy story though your friend's story is far from over. She has been fortunate in the outcomes of her situation but it must have been very stressful at times. Now she can relax a bit and enjoy her life which can only be a good thing. None of us know what is around the corner, anything could happen over the next few years but, for now, just be happy for her.

Bluesheep8 · 06/11/2019 19:11

Is the person you're describing YOU op? I just get the feeling that it is....

Llioed · 06/11/2019 19:20

That first post has confused me. Is the person of interest the new partner of OP’s ex? The person of interest is a woman who has her children 50% of the time, has every Friday off and earns £125,000? If so,
I couldn’t have my children for only 50% of the time. I personally don’t see that as lucky, but that is just my opinion.
As long as that woman isn’t harming anyone with her “lucky life” then it’s fine. I hope the children are ok, appearances can be deceptive at times.

Pitterpatterpettysteps · 06/11/2019 19:25

weird attention-seeking op

Bluerussian · 06/11/2019 19:26

I thought the same at first, Llioed but when I re read the opening post, it seemed that the woman is not the op's ex's partner; a friend or acquaintance I presume. Perhaps the op will enlighten us.

Considermesometimes · 06/11/2019 19:27

OP you have no idea what she may have been through, how hard her life is behind closed doors, or how long her contentment will last.

Many people's lives look wonderful from a distance, but everyone has their fair share of disappointments, worries, setbacks and all the rest, she may not advertise it, but they will be there, she is human.

We have to be happy for the moments and times when things are going well for us or for our friends. A true friend would be really chuffed for her, and you do not sound as if you have her best interests at heart.

Your friend is lucky to be enjoying what I would call golden times, when all is well, be happy for her.

carlywurly · 06/11/2019 19:30

Well this is pretty much me on paper (other than the salary, sadly!)

I wouldn't have chosen what happened, it was bloody awful for a while but I just made the best of a difficult situation. I'm not sure what the op is getting at.

MarchingAnts · 06/11/2019 19:33

I think it's one of those positions where they have worked hard for years and now get paid for what they know... so not based on luck then, based on hard workHmm