Another mum that I know has sent her sick child into school.

[Aaarrgghhh]

Okay, so my kid and her kid play at each other’s houses once a week or so. Anyway, she told me her kid couldn’t come to mine one day as she was unwell, being sick with a tummy bug. That’s okay, it happens and I message back saying something along the lines of, that’s okay don’t worry about it I hope she feels better soon. Anyway, 48 hours after last vomit is the rule, so why was her kid in school?

It’s annoyed me because I’m sick and tired of my kids being unwell because of stupid parents like this. A cold or a cough is fair enough, if we kept our kids off for that they may never been in school, but a bug? Come on now, it’s ridiculous to send a child in to infect everyone else. Here’s why it pisses me off so much, I have a kid with a suppressed immune system, bugs aren’t good for her and depending on how bad it is she could end up in hospital, this mum knows this because I make everyone aware so they don’t bring things like bugs to my home.

Would I be unreasonable to tell the school that the child wasn’t kept off for the appropriate amount of time? I feel petty thinking about it but it’s really annoyed me and my kid isn’t the only kid in the world to have a weakened immune system, plenty of kids at the school will as well. I think this wouldn’t be as big of a deal if she didn’t annoy me in general with other things, this is like a straw that broke the camels back so to speak.

For clarity, it’s my elder child that plays with her kid outside of school and it’s my younger one that has the weakened immune system, I don’t want my elder kid bringing home bugs to her sister because of silliness like this.

When was the child unwell? Have they been off school this week and returned today?

You'd be better speaking to the mum about it, rather than reporting her to the school. A kindly meant reminder about the school's policy.

It's annoying but there is not really anything you can do about it.

My DH works in a hospital with immune suppressed patients, and their stance is that most gastro bugs are contagious before symptoms start and most are still 5-14 days after symptoms stop. The 48 hour rule makes most people feel better, but the real preventative is teaching children to wash their hands frequently and well, drying them properly and not putting their hands in their mouths.

Do the school actually have a 48 hour rule? My sons secondary school doesn’t and it worries me as DS is immune suppressed.

I get what you’re saying but what are school going to do about it? Other than send a message around.

I’m not trying to be snarky by the way I genuinely don’t know what they could do.

They couldn’t send the child home if they claim they’re well. If parents are working and sent the child in they may not collect them until home time anyway. Not sure what happens in this case.

If they have no one else to look after the child and risk losing their job/s taking more time off that’d be a reason for sending in (absolutely don’t agree with this myself just musing reasons for sending in).

It is so annoying though. I fully understand the rule. And it amazes me that people who I work with don’t get It either. Some come in the next day after having a sick bug. I don’t want your germs!!

On the flip side though it’s a nightmare for us when the bugs go round as it means fewer staff in the office. A colleague has 3 kids and last year she was off for a week and a half with the bug. All three kids got it then when they had recovered she came down with it.

I would have a quiet word with the school. They need to know there are tummy bugs around just as with headlice etc. Ours used to add a note to the school newsletter most weeks to remind parents of the 2 day rule. I guess they would send out a text or email nowadays.

I think there are several complex reasons a parent sends a child who isn't all that well into school. But really you have no way of knowing the last time she had D or V or whether the mum/kid just didnt want to come.

My dds school policy is 24 hours if its just being sick and 48 if theres diarrhoea.

So she was unwell over the weekend. She messaged me on Sunday to say her child was unwell and I don’t know if she was sick again after that but had been throwing up at the time she messaged me, but she was in school yesterday. Which doesn’t work out to the 48 hours. Our school does have this policy and I always abide by it myself. I’m not sure if she was in on Monday because my daughter wasn’t in on that day but even Tuesday is too risky in my opinion.

In answer to what can the school do about it? I have no idea, it’s why I posted here before I say anything. I probably should say it to the mum directly but we’ve already had this discussion when her kid was sick a time before and she wanted to come round the day after and I said no because I don’t want my kids catching it. I feel like if I say something to her it may not be received well? I don’t want to potentially ruin my daughters friendship with her daughter. I’m being a bit wet basically, aren’t I?

The 48 hour rule is pointless really. I send my children in as soon as they’re feeling well

Oh she and her partner don’t work by the way. No judgment on that front because me and mine both don’t work (we are carers to our younger child). But it means there wasn’t a reason to not keep her off.

You have my every sympathy. This happened to me when DD2 was in Primary - another child was sick in the classroom and had to be collected then was back in school the next day. I spoke to the teacher and child was sent home.

Sorry but it's totally selfish. Both my DC react very badly to sickness bugs and can't stop being sick once they start, they have ended up in hospital - 30x vomit in 24 hours is not funny.

Speak to the school - they need to send out a polite reminder of 48 hours following last episode of DorV (and encourage your child to be super diligent on handwashing and only use school toilets if they absolutely have to!)

She may have lied to cancel the playdates scheduled.

She used the words tummy bug in regards to the kid being unwell so I imagine throwing up, temperature and possibly diarrhoea. She wouldn’t need to make up a reason not to come round because things happen and sometimes kids want to stay at home etc and that’s okay. I’ve had to cancel things before because she is upset or unwell etc and I have no issues with others doing the same. I’m very understanding in this regard because my kid gets unwell a lot (the younger one) and I always feel bad for cancelling so never get annoyed if it’s us being cancelled on, my kid is also very understanding and doesn’t mind either.

Would I be unreasonable to tell the school that the child wasn’t kept off for the appropriate amount of time?

Oh goodness me, please don’t do this. It’s petty and quite low behaviour, and you will feel like shit afterwards. And the school will look at you askance as well. Nobody likes a snitch and that doesn’t change because you (ostensibly) grew up.

Would I be unreasonable to tell the school that the child wasn’t kept off for the appropriate amount of time?
Yes ywbu to tell tale the school.
Oh she and her partner don’t work by the way. No judgment on that front because me and mine both don’t work (we are carers to our younger child
Actually you come across as very judgemental.

If she was last sick say 7am Sunday morning she would be fine in school by Tuesday?
Also, she could have lied to get out of the playdate. Doesn't sound like she took her kid to school desperately ill or contagious..

For every decent parent at school who keeps their kids off when they are ill, there are at least 3 parents who don't. You'll send yourself mad trying to do anything about it. The world is full of self-important arseholes.

Blonde "You have my every sympathy. This happened to me when DD2 was in Primary - another child was sick in the classroom and had to be collected then was back in school the next day. I spoke to the teacher and child was sent home."

You don't know the circumstances. My children have all suffered reflux, the eldest to the extent that she was missing as much school as she was there because of the 48 hour rule- when she didn't have a bug, just reflux! The school asked with me on this and allowed us an exemption from the 48 hour rule- they would only send her home, and I would only keep her home, if she showed other symptoms of a bug rather than just vomiting.

I lived in fear of other parents complaining like this.

Well if she has lied it’s a silly one. Maybe she did and that’s okay because it doesn’t bother me to be honest, but this type of lie is only making her look bad then for sending her kid into school, why do that? My kid is very good at hand washing, has been from she could start learning, she is very good at washing her hands and doesn’t really need reminded. She knows dirty hands especially when unwell, can’t make her sister unwell when it can be avoided and she has seen her sister unwell enough times to not want to add to it. I make it sound so serious but it’s not, she’s just good at hygiene and we’ve had no issues with it. She also used to have to use hospital sanitiser for her hands any time she wanted to touch her sister or touch her toys etc. So she’s quite aware, but when she gets a bug it’s awful for her, she’s very much like me in that we catch things and fight them off well but we vomit often and continuously for a good day or two and it’s awful. We’ve both vomited so much while having a bug that our voices have started to go and we have sore throats. I try to avoid bugs as much as possible lol

You don't know if she vomited, or just had a stomach ache and felt too rough to play. If she had actually vomited, you don't know when the last bout was - it could have been 8am on Sunday.

Have a word with the mum. You might be getting yourself worked up about nothing.

She could have said tummy bug but actually it was food poisoning. My understanding is the D&V rule is for bugs that are contagious. Vomiting isn't necessarily contagious, it depends on the cause.

I wouldnt snitch on her- her child could be feeling 100% better and she may have to work and not be able to take time off. I appreciate it must be hard with a child that gets ill frequently but her child wont be the only child with a bug

I’m a teacher currently off sick with the sickness bug.
Of course working with kids you expect to catch their germs, but when you get ill after clearing up after children who say they had a “squirty bottom”/puked over their bed spread at home that morning/night before etc it grates. When they return to school after “an episode” at school the previous day, parents get a very strongly worded phone call.

I can’t teach your kids if they’ve given me d and v, I have to have time off so you get to keep your perfect sickness record- not on.

And ps I judge you.
From the toilet.
That has become my prison.

reallyrandomwords But that is so different. If your child suffers with reflux like my younger one did then I get it, you make that. Call because you know your child. I know if my child has been sick because she has coughed and has just had a tube feed versus a vomit from a bug. This mum actually said tummy bug, and I know her daughter doesn’t have reflux.

I’m actually gutted that I’ve come across as judgmental. I’m on benefits and don’t work, why would I judge someone for doing the same? That’s given me some pause for thought.

I’m not going to say anything and just hope no bugs enter the home any time soon. Think I just got myself worked up because the idea of two sick kids when I’m still recovering from something myself sounds like hell lol