Another mum that I know has sent her sick child into school.

[Aaarrgghhh]

Okay, so my kid and her kid play at each other’s houses once a week or so. Anyway, she told me her kid couldn’t come to mine one day as she was unwell, being sick with a tummy bug. That’s okay, it happens and I message back saying something along the lines of, that’s okay don’t worry about it I hope she feels better soon. Anyway, 48 hours after last vomit is the rule, so why was her kid in school?

It’s annoyed me because I’m sick and tired of my kids being unwell because of stupid parents like this. A cold or a cough is fair enough, if we kept our kids off for that they may never been in school, but a bug? Come on now, it’s ridiculous to send a child in to infect everyone else. Here’s why it pisses me off so much, I have a kid with a suppressed immune system, bugs aren’t good for her and depending on how bad it is she could end up in hospital, this mum knows this because I make everyone aware so they don’t bring things like bugs to my home.

Would I be unreasonable to tell the school that the child wasn’t kept off for the appropriate amount of time? I feel petty thinking about it but it’s really annoyed me and my kid isn’t the only kid in the world to have a weakened immune system, plenty of kids at the school will as well. I think this wouldn’t be as big of a deal if she didn’t annoy me in general with other things, this is like a straw that broke the camels back so to speak.

For clarity, it’s my elder child that plays with her kid outside of school and it’s my younger one that has the weakened immune system, I don’t want my elder kid bringing home bugs to her sister because of silliness like this.

Maybe there was another reason her child couldn't go and she was embarrassed to tell you? (My son once flatly refused to go to a play date so I lied) Or maybe her child got a little bit sick once earlier in the weekend and she used the word bug the way people say flu for a bad cold? And we have a 24 hour rule in our school so maybe it was 24 hrs later and she thought her child was okay? It totally depends and since you don't seem to know exact specifics yabu (different if you saw It all and it was d and v for certain)

It's tricky. Yes they should stay home for 48 hours and stuff. It does come down to good hygiene and constant handwashing. The school's would need to be bleaching surfaces and cleaning toys etc to help stop the spread. I have my DD home today because she got travel sick in the car this morning. I plan on sending her back tomorrow as there's nothing wrong with her at all. We didn't know that until we got her home and waited a couple of hours though. If she had been unwell then she'd be staying home tomorrow too.

Sometimes I think parents worry about work etc. Also my DD school likes attendance to stay above 95% she's currently at 99% as she's had two days of since September. But children get I'll and should be allowed to rest.

You don’t know the true nature of the illness so you would be being unreasonable to report her.

She also might have work circumstances that would not allow for keeping a child that has seemingly recovered off school ‘just in case’.

Sadly with the rules concerning child absence and fines a lot of parents will now send their children to school regardless. You can call it irresponsible but it's the system that's been created by government.

If the school sends them home sick once they are in school, it's authorised absence. If parents choose to keep them home it's unauthorised and counts towards them having letters regarding truancy then fines.

The stance of the school is to get a doctors letter to cover absence. The BMA has advised doctors not to do this. It's almost impossible to get a same day appointment for D&V, and not advised either due to the contagious nature.

It's truly awful, but parents often do not have the choice.

Erm, when I said imagine you seem to have not quoted the rest of the list, including temperature etc. The mum said she was being sick someone on the thread said about diarrhoea so that’s when I said if someone says a tummy bug then I imagine those three things.

I actually didn’t know that secondary schools these days don’t have the rule. I’m in my twenties and they had the rule when I was at school. I’m quite shocked at that to be honest but by then my younger daughter should have hand washing down, it’s a shame that people with weakened immune systems have to be put at risk just so kids are in school for an extra day or two. I think I’d rather keep mine off even at secondary school, especially the younger one.

GreenFingersWouldBeHandy I did do that, the first time her child was unwell and I also mention it to people that I’ll be around more in the first few meet ups.

She also might have work circumstances that would not allow for keeping a child that has seemingly recovered off school ‘just in case’.

The thread is only three pages long. My comments are highlighted and I’ve responded to many posters, so why didn’t you see that I’ve already said she doesn’t work..

@ohmydarling @mitzik

Sadly with the rules concerning child absence and fines a lot of parents will now send their children to school regardless.

This!

When my daughter started reception, she caught a stomach bug, so I kept her at home for 48 hours. She was off Mon, Tues and wed. Then she caught a cold, so I kept her off another 2 days. Then I got a nasty letter threatening me with a fine & prosecution. Then she caught chicken pox and was off for a week. And the school set educational welfare onto me because of all her absences! Now, even if she's sick just before school, I still send her in. If the school want to send her home, that's up to them. I'm not having educational welfare set on me or being threatened with prosecution again!

@Raphael34 - The 48 hour rule is pointless really. I send my children in as soon as they’re feeling well

Well you are a fool, then, and I pity other kids at your kids' school.

@Pinkandbluecandyfloss - then I got a nasty letter threatening me with a fine & prosecution

No, you got a standard letter, automatically generated by a certain number of absences

No, you got a standard letter, automatically generated by a certain number of absences

And I'm NOT being sent shit like that again!

I’ve had a call about my daughters absences, they have to call or send a letter out I don’t have issue with that. I don’t think that means you should send a clearly unwell child into school, take aside others getting sick, what kid who is unwell wants to be sat in school feeling like crap? When I had the phone call I firmly but politely said I will only be keeping my child off if she is unwell, I also will not be taking her to the doctor each time because I’m not risking others, doctors tell you not to come to the surgery if it’s something contagious anyway, they said that’s fine and they have to check if her attendance drops again. I’ve told them to expect it to drop because I won’t send a sick child to school. I won’t send her sister in while unwell so I won’t be doing the same with her.

NHS is explicit about 48 hour rude

It’s a pain in the ass, especially as in a single working parent, but that’s the NHS guidance, and as a non medical person - I’m not going to think I know better

Having said that - if others did differently, whilst I’d be pissed off of my children then caught the bug, is also be philosophical about fact that of a bug is doing the rounds then they may well pick up from anywhere. I wouldn’t dream of reporting the parent to the school, not for a nano second

@pinkandbluecandyfloss

That's awful. What do they expect parents to do. My daughter missed a huge amount of nursery last year. Her brother was in hospital after a virus from nursery gave him the start of pnunomia.

I think it's 95% before we get contacted. But these little 4 and 5 year olds still don't have a strong immune system. Also if children have to be at school to avoid these letters and threats about attendance then surely it's making the classroom a breeding pot for germs?

The small amount of days they allow off doesn't allow for the standard a day off here and there for temps, a couple of days for a stomach bug and the risk of a few days of with things like chickenpox, impetigo etc. What happened in the end with you? Didn't they realise you couldn't send her in like that? X

Can’t get my explicit than this

our school does 24h.

tbh, many working families are under huge pressure and cannot afford to stay at home with a child that is fine.

and you don't know for sure. Mind your own business. There are probably lots more children in school where parents cannot stock to the 48h rule. you cannot police everything .

to you work, OP? just asking as you don't mention any pressures from work for staying off frequently.

If my child was off so much that school would call me regarding her attendance, I would be in massive trouble at work.

Novemberblu3s I’ve already answered that.

I suspect there are far nore kids going in you don't knkw about. How do you propose dealing with those?

I suspect there are too. Difference is, I don’t know about it so what would I have to mention to the school? I actually know (or at least have been led to believe as others have suggested she could have lied) that this child had vomited around 9 am on Sunday, why send a child into school on Tuesday when it’s so close to the 48 hours? Also, I don’t know if she was for a fact or not but I think she was in school on Monday, I said this a few posts back.

@worriedmumtoteens

No, you got a standard letter, automatically generated by a certain number of absences

No.

I have 2 children at primary school and 2 teens at secondary schools. They all catch everything going. All of their attendance is always below 95% over the winter. The secdary school sends those letters out, sometimes, which I just bin. The primary school has never, ever sent one and my youngest daughter's attendance was about 91% once! So those letters are definitely NOT standard.

You have my sympathies pink and blue candyfloss

HugoSpritz what? Did you read anything I posted? I have two kids, she has one. My younger one is immune suppressed and yes their paths do cross as her daughter comes to my house sometimes to play with my elder daughter as they are friends and at school together.

Also, regardless of being near my daughter or not her sister can catch it and bring it home to her, it’s a worry but it’s our life.

Oh, so you don't work. Easy sitting on your high horse then judging parents who have to juggle work and looking after sick children.