How do I politely decline?

[user6789]

I'm expecting very soon.

Friend has made multiple comments about 'having' a baby item of hers & how helpful it's been etc etc.

She asked again a few days ago if I was still wanting it and I said yes and asked how much as I didn't want to give her nothing, and the figure was £55.

She's fully aware that I'm not in the same financial position as her & there's just no way I could afford that for a non-essential item this close to Christmas.

How do I politely decline? I don't want to seem stingy or rude.

"Thanks so much for the offer of x but we've decided we probably wouldn't use one so you'd be better off passing it on to someone who will get a lot of use out of it"

Say "thank you for the kind offer but i won't be needing it"

Sorry that's over my budget but thanks for the offer

Thanks - I just think it's really obvious when I've already said yes I want it and she's said a price to say 'actually no thanks'!

What’s the item? Is it essential? Because if it’s a Moses basket or fancy high chair you don’t need it and I’d just go with that.

Ah, that's really kind, but thinking it over, I can't afford it. Thanks though.

I’m sorry, I didn’t realise when we spoke but somebody has kindly gifted us X

You could say aunt/granny/etc has said they are getting one for you if you felt the need to have an excuse

Then you’ll just have to go with “we’ve looked at our budget and it just won’t stretch that far but thanks anyway, let’s catch up for a cuppa when are you free?”

Just say ‘thanks so much for the offer but I'm not totally sure I’ll use it and thinking about our finances I think it’s better not to buy things I’m not totally sure about’.

"I appreciate you thinking of me but there's just no way I could afford that for a non-essential item this close to Christmas. Go ahead and sell it on elsewhere."

I have friends who are much less well off than me and sometimes I just forget and suggest we do something that is easily affordable for me but would be too much for them. Am human. They point it out, there's usually some minor embarrassment, mostly mine for being an insensitive dickhead. I apologise for not engaging brain. I have a word with myself in the mirror too and we are fine again.

Tbh I've passed on loads of baby items to friends and never expect money in return. If she's financially better off than you, I don't think she should either.
Just say , thanks but I do not think I'd get a lot of use out of it. Maybe post it on a buy and sell page.
Don't worry if she she knows it's because of the price, it might give her a wake up call .

I've got a multi-millionaire friend who wouldn't give someone a used baby vest without asking for money. I find it baffling. Some people are like that.

Towelnumber42, maybe that's why she has lots of money, and I don't!

True. She has always had a laser focus on becoming rich and she'd done it by 40.

Thank you for thinking of me, but I can't stretch that just now See you soon for a cup of tea?

Text, don't call, much easier.

I'm not jealous, honestly (well maybe just a little ), I'm not great with money , it just slips through my fingers

I can't stand people who "offer" items without specifying the price first. THAT is rude! Your friend question should have been "would you like this xxx for £55?".

You are not to decline when the item proves too expensive for you.

I like the “we’ve looked at our budget and it just won’t stretch that far but thanks anyway, let’s catch up for a cuppa when are you free?”

I've got a multi-millionaire friend who wouldn't give someone a used baby vest without asking for money. I find it baffling. Some people are like that.

what's baffling? As long as they make it clear when they offer, why should they give away stuff?

I can't stand people who "offer" items without specifying the price first.

I agree. You’ve been completely set up by your friend, OP. She was being sly asking you if you wanted it, before she mentioned money. She’s hoping that you’ll be too embarrassed to say no, now. Don’t let her manipulate you and don’t say you can’t afford it as she’ll see that as a green light to start haggling on the price. She’ll be determined to get you to buy it. Just tell her that you were looking at what you’ve got and will be getting and have decided you don’t actually need it. You can follow it up with a comment about how you’re sure she’ll have no trouble selling it online.

I wouldn't mention it being too expensive, or out of budget, your friend might think you are angling for her to give it to you free and it may sour the friendship.

Just say someone else is giving you one for Christmas, sorry to have kept her waiting for your reply.

Why are you worrying about not appearing rude? Your friend is being rude by offering you an item and THEN asking for £55 for it. She is being rude by not caring about whether you can afford said frippery, she sees you as an opportunity to get a bit of money back for it. She knows exactly what she's done, so don't worry about sparing her feelings - just tell her you can't afford it.

Honesty goes a long way just say I’m really sorry that’s just out of my price range! There’s no reason for that to be rude or embarrassing

"Ah thanks but I just can't afford it"
Will do

How much did you want to offer/could you afford? Do you actually want it/one?

She obviously is comfortable in talking about money, so you shouldn’t worry about offending her. I think it is absolutely fine to say “thanks, but I can’t afford it - you should try and sell it to someone else though”. This way she knows you aren’t angling for a freebie.