How do I politely decline?

[user6789]

I'm expecting very soon.

Friend has made multiple comments about 'having' a baby item of hers & how helpful it's been etc etc.

She asked again a few days ago if I was still wanting it and I said yes and asked how much as I didn't want to give her nothing, and the figure was £55.

She's fully aware that I'm not in the same financial position as her & there's just no way I could afford that for a non-essential item this close to Christmas.

How do I politely decline? I don't want to seem stingy or rude.

We had a similar thing to this, one friend was delighted to pass on baby stuff and saw it as just a new home for their items until they wanted them back ( this was made clear). We used them and really brilliantly passed them all back.

Another friend wanted us to 'pay' the second hand price for similar items and 'new price' for things that they'd purchased but didn't end up using. They got quite stroppy when I said we're just not going to use the heated nappy warmer ( or something equally ridiculous). I just said no thank you.

We then purchased / gifted what we did need and then ended up passing on anything else.

Just say sorry that's out of my budget but thanks anyway, honestly though, this is the sort of question you ask. Before you say yes

Or maybe even reply: "Lol."

I wouldn't dare, but I love that one

Please can you tell us what the item is OP as I am intrigued now as to what she wants £55 for. I think she has also been very cheeky as if you hadn't offered, would she have give it to you then said that will be £55. I think when it comes to stuff like this people need to be clear as to if they are loaning it, giving it away or want you to buy it. I thankfully never had it but a friend did and it was very awkward for awhile

Thing is what someone finds as "essential" or really useful" can be a white elephant to another.
I was told by so many people that I would need a baby sling, but I absolutely hated it and used it only once.

TBH OP I would get just the bare essentials and reassess once the baby is here.
Don't feel pressured to buy something that you might just not use.

SHE'S the stingy and rude one here! It's not on to give the impression that something will be a present and then turn round and ask for money for it.

I'd go for either the white lie of 'I've just found out from x that they're wanting to give us one' or 'We've looked at our budget and it just won’t stretch that far but thanks anyway, let’s catch up for a cuppa when are you free?'

I think you just have to be clear that it's outside of your price range.

Say "oh well thanks anyway but I don't need it that badly - hope you manage to sell it on ebay/local selling pages"

I think it's a bit of a piss-take to offer stuff to someone and then demand quite large sums of money for it, when that wasn't mentioned up-front.

How stingy and rude of her.

I don't hold with selling things to friends like this.

If she needs the money- she should eBay/gumtree it and obtain its full market value

If she doesn't need the money and wants you to have the benefit of it- then she should just give it to you.

Why do people do this? It's so awkward and can sour a friendship. It's not worth it.

I would go with the "changed our minds" tack. Wouldn't mention the money again.

And I don't get this type of person but selling on second hand is much more common now so it's not unreasonable. With dds1 and 2 stuff circulate freely between friends but clothes were better quality and more expensive new.

Ah - out of my budget I'm afraid, but I do appreciate it's probably worth that. Thanks for thinking of me

Yep. That. It's straightforward and honest while still polite.

Thanks for the offer but I can't really afford £55 for it. I thought I would let you know now so you can sell it on Gumtree (or wherever)

Simples

Your friend sounds stingy ,rude and greedy.
Dont even worry about offending her. She is trying to make her life easy by using you . Dont let her. Just say you dont want it . No need for long explanations .

People seem to think those with money owe them something for free. THAT baffles me

Say you have been gifted one and find a cheaper one?

There's a reason that some rich people are rich.
I personally have a very good income, i manage to spend the vast majority every month on supporting my adult stepkids, (uni aged so not independent), treating my friends and family, rescuing animals and donating to charity. (and making sure that DH and I have a great time - although you don't necessarily need money for that).

@user6789 are you going to come back and tell us how it went?

What is it with these post and run OPs? I’m heartily sick of them.

Bloody hell, she's the rude one. If she wants to get a bit of cash for it she could sell it on Facebook (that way you'd probably end up seeing it and could snap it up if you wanted it). If you want to be kind to a friend who is less well off than you you give them the bloody thing for free.

Why are so many people suggesting you lie?

What's wrong with saying you can't afford it? She's a friend isn't she?

Ah - out of my budget I'm afraid, but I do appreciate it's probably worth that. Thanks for thinking of me

Another vote for this^^.

I am not sure do you think it’s worth £55 but can’t afford it right now , think it’s over priced or simply don’t really want one ?

You say you expected to pay something so how much do you want to pay for it? Do you think it is overpriced for what it is?

I would say breezily 'thanks for the offer but I don't really need it so wouldn't pay more than £10 (or whatever), I think you should sell it on ebay or somewhere you can get the price you want'. And then change the subject.

Someone recently tried to sell me something and I didn't think it was worth it. It was irrelevant whether I could afford it (I could) I honestly said I don't want to pay x for that i'll get it cheaper elsewhere or go without. No matter how much money I had I wouldn't pay more than I think something is worth.

That's awful. After we were done having kids we gave one of DH's old friends who was expecting her first and on a tight budget our $400 crib with just the request that she gift it forward too when she was done with it. How mercenary of her.

"Oh no, I'm sorry. I didn't realise it was that much! I hope you don't mind, but we actually can't afford that, but you should definitely sell it on ebay! "