How do I politely decline?

[user6789]

I'm expecting very soon.

Friend has made multiple comments about 'having' a baby item of hers & how helpful it's been etc etc.

She asked again a few days ago if I was still wanting it and I said yes and asked how much as I didn't want to give her nothing, and the figure was £55.

She's fully aware that I'm not in the same financial position as her & there's just no way I could afford that for a non-essential item this close to Christmas.

How do I politely decline? I don't want to seem stingy or rude.

'Thanks but I've changed my mind" is all you need to say. Don't offer any further explanations.

@TowelNumber42 that's why they're a multi millionaire

@MrGsFancyNewVagina

I can't stand people who "offer" items without specifying the price first.

You’ve been completely set up by your friend, OP. She was being sly asking you if you wanted it, before she mentioned money. She’s hoping that you’ll be too embarrassed to say no, now. Don’t let her manipulate you and don’t say you can’t afford it as she’ll see that as a green light to start haggling on the price. She’ll be determined to get you to buy it. Just tell her that you were looking at what you’ve got and will be getting and have decided you don’t actually need it. You can follow it up with a comment about how you’re sure she’ll have no trouble selling it online.

Agree with this. Your friend is entitled to ask if you want to buy something, but to not specify the price, and then drop it on you, just absolutely stinks!

@user6789
Do as the poster I quoted says, (and a few others too,) and say you don't really need it, and it isn't a good time financially for you anyway.

Reminds me of someone who I knew (in our neighbourhood,) a while back, who said their brother was selling his car, and knew my next door neighbour was looking for a car - small, economical, and around 2003 to 2005. 'You can have my brother's car - it's a lovely little red ford fiesta' this woman said. 'GREAT' said my neighbour. 'Tell him to bring it around, and I will take a look.'

So the brother brought the car around, and it was an 01 fiesta (worth around £750-£899 tops,) and he wanted £2300. For an 18 year old Ford Fiesta with 150,000 miles on the clock!

My neighbour politely declined, but this woman AND her brother were really arsey, and annoyed that they had wasted their time!

My next door neighbour said, with hindsight, she should have asked the price first! The woman never offered to tell her though. We both thought afterwards, that they were trying to rip her off.

I don't agree that rich/well-off people have to give stuff away for free, but to try and push something on someone that they never even asked for or mentioned, and then whack a sum of money on that they can't afford, is sneaky and underhand and pretty nasty.

@Chloe84 I was just asking for advice, didn't realise I was supposed to come on and explain what I'd said.... no need to be rude really?

BUT, I just went with we unfortunately can't afford it at the moment but I'm sure it's worth that so she's worth putting it up online.

What's the item @user6789 I am a nosey fecker, and everyone is dying to know!

Always be honest with money and never feel ashamed @user6789 just tell her, I’m sorry, I can’t actually afford £55 right now as I’m saving for maternity leave and Christmas.
She may offer it at a lower price. She may not.
Don’t worry but be honest.

@littlehappyhippo a bouncy chair!

@VenusTiger yeah, I think I just needed a bit of reassurance that it was actually okay and not cheap to be honest!

Very cheeky of her. Tell her no thanks, just not in my budget - my mum/dad/aunt is talking about getting one for xmas too so feel free to ebay it.

£55 for a bouncy chair?! Your friend is taking the Michael.

@TickyTacky it must've cost her in the region of £70 - £80 about a year ago. But I still wasn't expecting £55! I didn't know if I was just being cheap by being shocked so I've been reassured by this thread.

(if you have dp/dh) this is where I rope my dh in (without his knowledge) & state that he had said no thanks (if you knew my dh bless him you would know he would dream of saying half the things I say he said to get me out of things like this (I have to carefully tell him what I said)

This is off topic but in my friendship group all the baby stuff did the rounds and got gifted on. I can't believe she is looking for 55£ for a bouncy chair.

Hmm is it a Baby Bjorn? They're between £120-£200 new (and worth every penny ime) so I don't think £55 would be unreasonable if it's only been used by one family.

So cheeky of a friend to say "Do you want X" and to not state a price til you accept. I would have assumed it was intended as a gift.

I agree that it's not as she's bigged it up and is actually something she's desperate to offload

I would’ve assumed it was a gift!

£55 for a bouncy chair?!! Well dodged OP! Even if it’s a reasonable price for that model it’s still a fortune - I paid £15 for ours second hand then passed it on for free when we were finished with it.

@user6789 Thanks.

As pps have said, what a bloody con. £55 for a bouncy chair!

Tell her 'nah, yer all right... just sell it on ebay!'

No way, you'll get one much cheaper than that if you want one.

@peachgreen

£200 for a bouncy chair,? Don't care if it's a 'fancy make,' or not, that's a joke. One that is a THIRD of the price is just fine!

I'd just tell the truth, whatever it is.

'I don't need it' or 'I've decided not to go for it' or if you do want it but it's too much "I can't afford that much, sell if somewhere else and Ill look for another."

You don't have to buy it just because she's offered it.

Congratulations on the baby.

Why didn't you ask how much she wanted for it before committing?

@littlehappyhippo I thought exactly the same but someone bought us one as a gift and it was the only place my CMPA silent refluxy baby would sit for any length of time! They're amazing and fantastic quality.

Might be the baby bjorn one. We had it. Waste of money. We later found out that the fisher price birth to baby one was much better. On a side note we get lots of these going cheap on our local whatApp and facebook groups. If you ever want one then look there.

Yes, I think that is very overpriced. Glad you managed to politely decline without causing offense. I wonder if she will manage to sell it online.

“Ah, that’s out of my budget, but thanks anyway”