To ask for practical tips to surviving a newborn and a just turned 2 year old

[Justasconfusedwithnumber2]

Just that really. Due in January and Dc1 has just turned two. All of a sudden I am having flash backs of waking every hour, breastfeeding whilst sat in front of the TV for HOURS through developmental leaps and going for a wee with baby on my lap. These are just 3 things I have no idea how I will cope with whilst entertaining a 2 year old 4 days a week.

Any practical advice please? Especially how to prepare? I am already off work due to health so have 3 'free' days if there's things I can get ahead of.

I'm having this same panic. I'm due in 2 weeks and have a 16 month old. How do you cluster feed a newborn and then take care of a toddler? Genuinely confused about how it works! Following with interest!

Watching with interest as I also have DC2 due in Jan when DC1 will be 20months.

Also following with interest!

I don’t remember much (probably not a good sign) but I just wore my baby while doing stuff with toddler and told the toddler to wait for whatever it was if the baby needed a feed and they wanted something I couldn’t do while feeding (learn to breastfeed while walking if you haven’t already).

I thought it was just me who went for a wee while holding their baby!

Take all the help you can. Dont worry about housework. Sort any unequal labour issues around the house now.

I'm wondering the same thing. Dc turned 2 last week and I'm due second baby at Christmas. My mum had same age gap between me and my siblings so it must be manageable. I guess we just won't know until it happens

You just do! Second babies are much more adaptable. You know what you're doing this time for a start.

I used to make sure there were books I could read to the toddler right next to where I was feeding. Have drinks and snacks for you and the toddler while you're feeding. The TV was on quite a bit.

I had the carrycot in the playpen so when the baby was asleep they wouldn't be woken by the toddler giving them a cuddle.

You are allowed to go for a wee by yourself. The baby will be safe enough in their cot for the couple of minutes it takes.

Good luck.

I had a 22 month gap. We were out from at least 9-4 everyday so toddler was at least partly entertained by park/museum/softplay/library/wherever and also partly contained by buggy by being en route to somewhere!

My eldest 2 are 2 years apart, I then had a 4 year gap and am about to have a 2 year gap with no.3 and 4.
Firstly, everything is so much easier the second time around, as you've done it before. You are expecting the sleeplessness, growth spurts, hormonal changes so they don't come as a shock.
As to having a 2 year old, prepare them and involve them as much as possible.

Have a box of things they are only allowed to play with when you are busy and feeding. Pintrest busy bags.
To a reasonable extent, your eldest comes first. If they need a wee or are having a meltdown and the baby needs feeding, deal with the eldest first.
And batch cook now as much as possible. I ate a main meal at lunch with the toddler so I could just give them a sandwich or toast at tea time when the baby was getting grisly.

We had no help so I put my toddler in nursery for extra hours when baby first came and then baby went too at five months and I went back to work. Downhill all the way from there.
Now teens they don't seem to have suffered. Expensive though.

In summer I'd suggest you got lots of options to do in the garden (sand pit etc) and lots of trips to park. Obviously won't work as well in winter. Think you might get to know cbeebies really well early next year!

Could your 2 year old go to nursery a few days a week? ...Gives you space and them time to interact with others, do more and less likely to resent younger sibling... Even if just for winter period? Can use this time to settle in if can afford it.
Alternatively any other local toddler groups you can start to attend? All settled in by time baby arrives and you will likely know a few mums who am sure will help keep eye on as you deal with newbie..

Usual prep... Deep clean house, make lots of meals, fill up store cupboards, get all those little repair jobs/painting and alike done so they don't irritate you next year.

I had a 2 year old and then had twins 8 weeks early, believe me it is a nightmare, you will cope because you have to. Be prepared for a year or two of complete sleep deprivation and being brain dead, the good news is that it will eventually get better.

Yanbu to ask.

We watched a lot of Cbeebies so I could BF / sit down, and we went out every morning without fail - baby groups, park, soft play. I had a 20 month age gap and it IS hard, but you just have to crack in and it gets easier. Mine are 2 & 3 now and they play together & ignore me a lot of the time - win!

But (stupid question) if I put the baby in their cot (upstairs) I'd have to haul toddler up there too right? As I couldn't leave baby in the moses basket to use downstairs loo with an unattended toddler

Maybe I'm over thinking it and need to just throw myself in

You kind of just do! My first 2 were 19 months apart.
DD2 did most of her cluster feeding when DD2 was in bed, I think she sensed it was the only time I was going to be able to sit down and do it! We spent a lot of time out of the house as it was easier when DD1 was occupied/distracted. Baby groups in churches with kind older ladies who were happy to make me a cup of tea and hold the baby were a godsend!
DD1 dropped her nap entirely about 3 weeks after DD2 was born so I didn’t have any double nap times, which was a nightmare.
I barely remember the first 6 months of DD2’s life if I’m honest!

Oh and I co-slept. DH moves into the spare room and I slept in our bed with the baby. Maximum sleep for everyone that way.

There's exactly 2 years and 3 days between my 2.
Ds2 was a really easy good baby and I felt really in control of the situation I don't know how! But I had a solid routine for feeding bath bed ect..
I really looked after myself eat well and exercised when I could it's the healthiest I had ever been after Ds2 was born!
It's all gone to shit now!
I've put on 2.5st and I'm pregnant with surprise number 3 exhausted and grumpy.
Routine gone to hell both ds don't sleep (and they're 3 and 5 now!)
Dont really know why I'm posting because this is not helpful atal

Lower your standards
Dont feel guilty about a lot of cbeebies while you are feeding
Try to engage the older on with things eg passing you wipes when changing
Wearing a sling helps

I felt i neglected dc2 as a baby as a toddler is just so demanding. But dont feel too guilty about it - in a few years you'll be neglecting the 4 year old as the baby will have become a demanding toddler! Just try to enjoy it as much as poss as time will fly by.

Made sure I was up and dressed by time dh left the house .
Made tea first thing in the morning or at least prepped it as much as I could as we were all tired by teatime
Wore baby in a sling most of the time to go out with toddler in pram .
Made sure I did things with toddler with baby along for the ride .
Routine .
Playgroups .
Snack and toy for toddler with me in case needed b f baby .
Friends round so I cdnt overthink .
Dh looked after baby while I put first born in bed . Then I’d watch tv for tiny bit , go to bed with baby at 9 .
Toddler still woke at night . Dh looked after toddler I did baby .
To survive we had separate rooms .
It’s not as daunting as it sounds . You alter your standards .
Routine really helps . Both knew that I was busy each morning .. baby and toddler both nearby or baby in sling toddler helping etc .
Make sure you freeze some good food before delivery . I made lots of cake with molasses in to keep up energy .
Make sure that toddler is weaned . ! I didn’t - health visitor told me he wd naturally self wean during the pregnancy ( he just fed a bit and it’s a myth you can get pregnant whilst bf !) as colostrum
Would come in and put him off - she was incorrect . That was hard .

Yeah I think I am already worried about the amount of cbeebies as the HV said no more than 2hours screen time a day.... That sounds like a couple of breastfeed to me 😂

My PFB has just turned 2 this last few weeks and I have a 5 month old.
It’s tough...but manageable.
Some things I find helpful are...

1. Get a sling...watch utube videos of how to BF in it (if you are BF) this was a life changer for me
2. Before you sit down for a feed...get your toddler a snack plate together (cucumber sticks, tangerine segments, chopped toms etc) and a full juice bottle and that should stop them from asking for most things whilst you are mid feed
3. Put the toddler in their car seat first so they aren’t running around the car and get them out last when you get to your destination
4. If bathing, do them together but get all your bits ready before hand. Pj’s, vests, nappies, creams all laid out on the closest carpet floor. Get a bath seat for baby and let them have a kick about In the water while toddler is washed. Then wash baby and get baby out first and dried while toddler plays with bath toys. Baby then can be laid on the carpet floor while you get toddler out and get them dried. Then dress them together.
5. Travel cots are a good place to put baby with a few toys out of the way of a crazy toddler running around.

My eldest had a doll that would have its nappy changed or have a baby massage, etc. It meant that she could join in with what mummy was doing.