AIBU to want to boycott M&S?

[thatdamnwoman]

Marks & Spencer has made its changing rooms unisex because it is striving to be inclusive and it wants everyone to feel comfortable in whichever changing room they want. Which means that a woman like me, who wants to try on clothes in an area where I know I won't encounter men if I step outside the cubicle to see how a garment moves when I walk, is now excluded from M&S.

There's evidence that when facilities are made unisex the number of sexual incidents goes up:

www.independent.co.uk/life-style/women/sexual-assault-unisex-changing-rooms-sunday-times-women-risk-a8519086.html

I think most ordinary men are horrified at the thought of unisex facilities. They're worried that they might cause offence or be mistakenly accused of predatory behaviour. On the other hand the changing rooms will be a magnet for all those men who get a transgressive thrill from going where they shouldn't and being just a few inches away from where a woman's changing her clothing.

I've contacted M&S and they just say they want to be inclusive and if anything happens to anyone in the changing room they'll take appropriate action. But why should anything inappropriate have to happen?

This year we're having guests for four days over Christmas and I would normally be spending at least £200 at M&S. This year I'll shop elsewhere instead. And I won't be buying gifts or clothes or home stuff from them either.

Will anyone join me in a boycott?

A lot of people just buy food from there though, I buy the odd bit of M&S clothes online but haven’t been in the changing rooms for ages so if I wasn’t on MN this would have passed me by

honeyloops not sure how many of the demographic supporting the complete erosion of mixed sex spaces are going to be shopping at M&S but my guess would be hardly any of them.

M&S have made a dick move and will pay for it with profits and, sadly, jobs.

I am appalled at how many women seem not to give a shit about women and our rights and will happily serve them up on a platter to any obnoxious man who tells them to.

I had the standard email back today.

I usually spend at least £500 in there at Christmas, it's my go-to shop. Heading off to JL instead now.

Tell them that Span1els

How do you complain directly - is there an email address? I can't find one online

[email protected]

Hop For me it comes down to - if a man doesn't feel safe in the men's then do something about that. The solution is not to go in the ladies making others feel unsafe.

Honey question / these do called "inclusive " policies will harm women and young girls. Your thoughts perhaps?

I’m in, not keen on M&S anyway.

The first incident will be one too many.

Thank you hands

On the other hand, predatory men also commit offenses against boys (of any age), and boys use male changing areas already. If we're worried about teenage girls having to change next door to a predatory man, shouldn't we already be worried about teenage boys having to do the same

Teenage boys are, on the whole, much taller, stronger and weightier than teenage girls.... But yes, let's make sure we take the predators out of the male space, where teenage boys might be in danger, and shove them into the female space with teenage girls. Why not? Women/girls are not as important as men/boys are they? Get a fucking grip!

@SchadenfiendeUnmortified

That's awful what happened to you, and I'm not at all surprised by their response!

It was a clear homophobic attack what they did to my DP and his DBF, just because they used the facilities at the same time! Bizarre!!

The outcome of their investigation after they complained was that the 3 staff members kicked his toilet cubicle in while my DP was sitting on the toilet doing his business, because they thought a child was trapped inside the cubicle and the door was stuck so the child couldnt get out. Bare in mind this happened after 9pm.

When asked why he was then accused of theft, then unsavory business in the toilet and thrown out the store the CEO's secretary could offer no explanation.

DP has the video which captures everything along with all the bizarre correspondence from M&S CEO's secretary who said she personally investigated. He is going to put it all online for public viewing. I went through 2 complicated births which is the only reason it hasnt been made public yet. The member of staff who lied about being a manager is still employed at that store.

This is stupid. Do you want to boycott Tesco and Asda too? They only have unisex changing rooms.
All cubicles are fully enclosed and lockable. Maybe you decided not to read that part.
People are making a fuss out of nothing.
All this men are predators rubbish and females feel in danger.
Having separate cubicles would not stop any predator male or female. Maybe all the females who are making a big fuss should stay at home in case a male looks at them.
Lets all boycotts Tesco and Asda and write to their CEOs telling them their changing rooms are dangerous.

Maybe all the females who are making a big fuss should stay at home in case a male looks at them

Would you like to explain why you think females should stay at home because they don't want men in their changing areas? Stick to the thread topic please....

@humansarehorrible
Maybe you should RTFT so you get the difference instead of writing crap. Many many comments explaining the rationale.

All this men are predators rubbish and females feel in danger

"Study CONFIRMD unisex changing policy is dangerous";

txvalues.org/2018/07/27/study-confirms-targets-bathroom-policy-is-dangerous/

www.thetimes.co.uk/article/sex-pests-target-women-in-mixed-changing-rooms-x3vw2lnv8

www.google.com/amp/s/www.independent.co.uk/life-style/women/sexual-assault-unisex-changing-rooms-sunday-times-women-risk-a8519086.html%3famp

Sainsbury’s too as do many other shops as listed below. They have been around for years.

Why didn’t/aren’t you asking for a boycott of other shops?

Reading this thread is making me very distressed. I was SA when in care. It has affected decades of my life. As I have got older I have become more aware of every move I make in case some disgusting man is perving on me. I have a teenage daughter who has started going out with friends, male and female, and it worries me so much.

I was wondering if we could organise a mass try on and then dump the clothes when told men are allowed in the usually female only changing area. However it isn't the shop assistants fault, is it.

I have also emailed M & S about something, and actually made an inspired suggestion which would benefit the customer and was sent an arrogant reply that they know best. I replied with my thoughts on that and got no reply.

So you’ll be writing to all the supermarkets, Gap, Hollister, Urban Outfitters, White Stuff....

One of the reasons trans women use the female toilets is that they were getting attacked/abused in the male toilets

Advice I've seen given includes things such as "cubicle doors are lockable" and that you can just call the police if there's a problem.

That might just be the advice given to women regarding men in the female toilets but I'm sure the same applies both ways otherwise it wouldn't be equal and inclusive...

Humans maybe you are selectively reading the thread? Countless posters have asked why men can't just stay in a lockable cubicle in the men's facilities?

We've asked if a man asks to be fitted for a bra why should a staff members have to do that? I was accused up thread of being judgmental for saying men shouldn't even request this service but I guess you can't debate with stupid.

Why should a woman who had been through rape or abuse of perhaps be recovering from breast surgery be fitted in a cubicle with a man legitimately half naked next door?

These ladies probably avoid facilities in the likes of Asda for these reasons however go to M & S ad until now they've rightly been afforded respect, dignity and potentially protection THEY ARE ENTITLED TI BY LAW.
*
V1 maybe you can comment instead of rehashing the same old "but Hollister, White Stuff" bollocks?

Really, how hard is it to empathise with women whose experience may be different to your own?*

Apologies for typos/bold fails. I've just had night three of insomnia in a row. I barely know what planet I'm on this morning

One of the reasons trans women use the female toilets is that they were getting attacked/abused in the male toilets

The advice, on this thread, for women who feel uncomfortable with men in their female space is, 'Shop online or buy and try on at home'.

Couldn't the same apply to the transwomen who feel uncomfortable in the male changing area?

Is it necessary for women's comfort to be compromised for the sake of men's comfort?
All that is needed is some common sense and a private cubicle for the men who feelz like a woman today to use.
Men in male changing room, women in female changing room, feelz like a woman/man but doesn't have the correct genitals in private changing room (third space) done!

*These ladies probably avoid facilities in the likes of Asda for these reasons however go to M & S ad until now they've rightly been afforded respect, dignity and potentially protection THEY ARE ENTITLED TI BY LAW.
*

Precisely. And many women's entire wardrobe is purchased at M&S. It's huge. And it's USP is knickers and bras. Do those other shops have bra fitting services?

And telling women to stay home if they don't like it is precisely the problem.

Why do you think women's shops had segregated changing rooms in the first place? Why do you think women demanded to have their own public toilets, in the first place? You do realise, don't you, that women didn't have those to start with? And the very first ones were burnt down, by men?

And that is one of the fundamental reasons why women could not take their place equally in society.

We are going backwards.

I can't help thinking there is a sense of complacency, precisely because of the gains that women have made in regards to things like segregated changing facilities. People think will there is no problem. Well yes, there is no problem because they're segregated!

Yes...a lot of people seem unable to actually understand that these are hard-won rights and protections which women did not used to have, and that they feel safer out and about in society precisely because of the general societal acknowledgement that spaces like that are necessary.

We certainly are in a retrograde period.

It's the slow boiling frog 🐸 thing