AIBU to take 3 week old baby out for NYE dinner?

[Imtootired]

My baby is due first week in December. My friend asked if I’d like to do something NYE and I said I’d like to but not sure what I will be able to do with baby. She has found a nice restaurant in the city that has private rooms if you have over a certain amount of people and spend enough. I think she’s already got enough numbers for that so it wouldn’t be the end of the world if I do have to cancel. Obviously I have no idea how my baby will be but if everything is good I wonder if I should take a baby so young out, especially in the evening on such a busy night. There is room for the pram and we can turn the speakers in there off or down so it’s not too loud. None of our friends cause trouble or drink much at all. Although 10+ people in a room might be quite loud anyway. And my main concern is going through the city with such a small baby in a pram when it’s so crowded and there might be a lot of drunk, crazy people around. What do you think?

@Hugtheduggee because it'll vary from woman to woman? Personally I found lochia a lot easier to deal with than a 'normal' period when I bleed very heavily and end up leaking unless I change very very often. Whereas lochia lasted four weeks but was considerably lighter to deal with after the first couple of days post-birth.

And I had the opposite experience to @RidingMyBike. My lochia was much heavier than a normal period. It only lasted 2 weeks, but good grief it was intense! I was flooding heavy duty STs every hour or so fir a few days, and had no desire but to stay in, wearing very big pants and black jogging bottoms.

Mine was about period level for 2 days and then lighter than that for a few, stopping by a week-10 days. But even if it is heavy, periods aren't anything new surely, unless its at the flooding pads stage like BikeRunSki. But thats the same for some women that flood during their period, and surely they'd still do social stuff when they are/might be on?

@BikeRunSki flooding a pad every hour is not a good sign 🙈

@HUWT, no it wasn’t, but that child is 8 years old now 😊

This would be a hard no from me.

I took my 6 week old to dinner at Nye this year. She slept the whole time in a sling, snuggled close to me, occasionally breastfeeding. I had a great time, she was happy and I think it would be much harder doing now at nearly a year old!

I didnt even know what day it was at 3 weeks pp never mind want to go partying 😂

I had DS on 11th December, went to my brother’s wedding on 21st (4 hours
away) and then to a friends for NYE, admittedly with my NCT group and I had a great time at both. Even after a horrific Labour with forceps.

If you could not commit then that would be best, to wait and see. However I’m so glad I went out loads. Baby would sleep in the pram and got used to loud noises and sleeping through them! They are so easy and portable at that age.

I thought the advice was to avoid crowded indoor areas with lack of air circulation (such as a bar on NYE in the middle of winter) before at least 2-3 months old when they'll have had their key vaccines and be less at risk of serious harm from minor viruses?

You don’t know how YOU will be either. Even though this is 2nd baby you’re 10 years older and people don’t always have births the same as with previous dc.

You could go 2 weeks over due date estimate and so baby will only be a week old, potentially you could still be in hospital nye, especially if like me and many others you end up having a c-section.

Even if you give birth on time, relatively smoothly and you and baby physically/medically ok you’ll more than likely still be knackered, bleeding, sore... if you’re bf it’s unlikely you’ll have that established and be completely comfortable with it and even if you’re not you may still be lactating.

...and that is before you consider the fact that nye in most towns is a pretty lairy, loud, drunken and very unpredictable night.

I absolutely would not risk taking a newborn out on that night into a restaurant or similar.

Does the friend have dc? Sounds like not and so they have no idea what it’s like to be post-partum and caring for a newborn

At 3 weeks after I’d had dd we’d only been home from hospital 11 days, I was still very sore from c-section, bleeding, knackered, bruised, legs very wobbly, struggling to establish bf as dd had needed to be tube fed initially. Dd was feeding every 1-2 hours, very clingy, hated being put down and needing nappy changed at least as often as being fed.

And I’m a poster that generally thinks babies are very portable and adaptable, usually taking babies to restaurants, weddings etc not a problem but no not nye.

Even just going out yourself if you’ve had a section you’ll be VERY wary of people bumping into you or pushing you aside.

You'll be bleeding, leaking, and quite possible in the midst of the baby blues.
You could be struggling to breast feed, you might have had a Caesarian, and the baby might be less than 3 weeks old. It won't have had any vaccinations yet either.

So no, don't go!

Oh, and you might have piles, or loads of stitches in your nether regions.

I went out for dinner with a ten day old. It was fine! There are so many variables. Just play it by ear.

Remember the Due date is just an expected date...I was induced as was two weeks over and labour/birth lasted three days and then I was in hospital a week. So in your situation I would have still been in hospital when this meal is supposed to take place.

However, if baby came on time/early you might feel fine to take him out. All depends on your recovery and how baby is.

Basically I would advise against any concrete plans which I know is difficult around NYE but there is always next year!

I think you'd be unreasonable to expect to turn the music down or off at an adults party. If I was going id be mightily pissed off at going out for a party and some food but being asked to keep the noise down.

Id just sit this one out. NYE is rubbish anyway

OP you have no idea how you will feel.

As you have seen here lots of mixed responses, and there is no way of predicting what situation you will be in.

Keep the invite open if you can, but be prepared either way.

For what it's worth there is not a chance in hell I would consider this- but I wouldn't have known that until I had a real live baby.

Ds was three weeks old at Christmas Eve. We went to a restaurant. It was fine. He had a cuddle off a few people (people at the surrounding tables who asked if they could) Was out a couple of hours, had a nice meal, home by 8pm, no washing up. (I had a long labour and an EMCS, was breastfeeding and bleeding.)

You might fancy it come the day, you might not! Get a sling rather than trying to contend with a buggy in a town on a busy evening. See how you go!

I assume this is your first baby?

As someone whose DS was born just before Christmas I can safely say you are out of your mind to even think about it. I cannot think of a more ridiculous idea quite frankly.

Gosh I was going to say go!
3 week old babies are very portable and will more than likely sleep through the whole thing.
You might feel like crap but then again you might not. I’d see how you feel nearer the time

It’s a bad idea - A lot of women are overdue with their first, you don’t know how you’ll be feeling. Don’t commit to anything until baby is here!

No.

I had a tough labour and couldn’t physically manage to walk to the end of my road for the first 3-4 weeks. Plus dc was 8 days late.

Plus even if I had been fine I wouldn’t want to be out late on NYE with a little one.

Sorry I misread that this was your first baby. However same applies, you don’t know what could happen so best not to make plans 😊

My DS was born at the end of November and I went to a NYE party with him! Others had babies there too though so we took it in turns.

I would definitely do it! They're not portable for long, make the most of it. We went out for a big meal with friends when DS was 3 weeks and it was the easiest thing ever, he just ate and slept with all the background noise.