AIBU to take 3 week old baby out for NYE dinner?

[Imtootired]

My baby is due first week in December. My friend asked if I’d like to do something NYE and I said I’d like to but not sure what I will be able to do with baby. She has found a nice restaurant in the city that has private rooms if you have over a certain amount of people and spend enough. I think she’s already got enough numbers for that so it wouldn’t be the end of the world if I do have to cancel. Obviously I have no idea how my baby will be but if everything is good I wonder if I should take a baby so young out, especially in the evening on such a busy night. There is room for the pram and we can turn the speakers in there off or down so it’s not too loud. None of our friends cause trouble or drink much at all. Although 10+ people in a room might be quite loud anyway. And my main concern is going through the city with such a small baby in a pram when it’s so crowded and there might be a lot of drunk, crazy people around. What do you think?

I wouldn't OP. You could be two weeks late and perhaps only a few days post C section. You'll also want to do nothing but sleep at this stage. I barely left the house for a couple of months after my first. Would gladly have hermitted after my second too if it wasn't for my older child needing to be taken places ;)

It’s my second but my son is ten so it’s hard for me to remember everything about the newborn stage. With him I didn’t really take him out too much to things like this but I’m this time I’d like to keep on with things as much as possible so I don’t start feeling isolated, lonely etc. I do realise it will be a huge adjustment though. I’m in Australia so it won’t be cold. I think the time was going to be from 7-10 and I wouldn’t need to stay out that late. I’d probably go in with my friend though, which would mean fitting car seat in her car. As for people around I can just politely say no to anyone who asks to hold him. I don’t know!!!! Like I said it’s good that there are enough people without me so it doesn’t matter too much if I go or not and I don’t think they need a deposit so I can just wait and see how I feel. To the previous poster who said I might feel good and want to show my baby off, I hope that will be the case. I was so happy and proud when my son was born and loved taking him into shops etc so might be the same this time.

Can't you just decide nearer the time?

You may be feeling fine, especially if the baby comes a few weeks early.

& don't worry about the baby being out late, they won't have a routine yet.

Could you say to your friend that you'd like the idea of it but might have to cancel if baby comes late/ you feel crap?

With a three week old you may well be feeling lonely and isolated so a night out with your friends - who from what you say aren't too rowdy- might be just what you need. You don't have to stay all night.

If your baby comes early you might be in need of even more adult company- see how you feel.

And all the best for the birth x

Totally bonkers idea.

Recovery is a lottery, C section or not.

I took 5 months to heal, lots of infections and a lot of bad luck. Other people I know have been up and about in days.

I'd advise so much against this! I'm due at a similar time and plan on spending NYE having cuddles with my new arrival /getting some sleep if baby let's me!

It’s not just about the baby, think about yourself too - at three weeks post partum, you may well still be bleeding. You’ll be exhausted from night wakings, whether breastfeeding or bottle feeding. If you need a c section or stitches you may still hurt, hell, after my c section for DD I couldn’t stand up straight for more than a few minutes for 9 weeks.

I took DS to a 40th when he was 7 weeks old. I was looking forward to it, but felt like pants because nothing fitted! We sat in a quiet part of the bar and stayed less than an hour. DS was in a sling. I wouldn’t do it again. You know what, I love my friends, but I love them every day, regardless of the date.

If you can go in a car and basically decide nearer the time then I'd just wait and see. I'm due at the end of November and I am planning on just staying in on NYE but I am in London, everything would basically require going on public transport and I'm having a c-section, plus NYE in London is a bit of a nightmare so I'm quite happy with the idea of just cuddling up at home.

But if logistics are easier for you, which they sound like they are, and your friend is accommodating enough that you can basically decide at the time, then it sounds like it could be possible.

Loads of pissed up people when you’ll likely be sober/half asleep/sore no thanks.
You need to decide once baby is born. Don’t commit to things before as you have NO idea what problems, if any, you may be facing.

If you can decide very close to the time without letting people down, and your friends genuinely won’t mind, I would consider it.

Yes you could only have a week-old baby but could equally be 4-5 weeks old and you’re starting to find your rhythm.

You won’t know if you’ve got a baby that feeds well and sleeps through anything or whether you’ve got one that is a fussy feeder who screams through the witching hour(s).

You might have a quick recovery or a long one. You might be completely exhausted and the idea of going out might be the last thing on your mind. Or you might be desperate for a bit of a social life.

Don’t do it! It’s a mad idea. If you can last minute decide to join on the day then maybe that might work but there are a million reasons why taking a newborn out like this are a bad idea - if your D.C. has even arrived that is, or isn’t actually just a week old... the other guests may not like accommodating you with no music, quiet music etc.

So you would leave your older son out? You are crazy to consider this.

If it’s a meal out then I don’t see that it’s a problem, however if it’s likely to be more of a dancing, partying kind of evening I’d give it a miss, you don’t want to spoil other people’s fun with a small baby and you may not feel up to it.
Babies are v portable at the stage, you can leave early if it’s more of a meal. You and your partner need to be prepared to remove the baby and go for a walk outside if it’s crying, rather than disturbing others?

I personally wouldn’t commit to anything now. Unless you can decide last minute, if you somehow feel up to it 3wks after the birth, I’d think it’s safer to decline. Where will your 10 yr old be?

@Imtootired what time of night are you talking? Can you not drive there?

My DS is 3 weeks old, I lost 3.5 litres of blood and had a transfusion. I took him trick or treating with my DD the other night,I feel fine.

But you might go 2 weeks over due x

Also, surely there’s a chance you could go over your due date and your baby will only be a week old!

I took DS to a wedding of 150 people when he was 10 days old. It was fine. He slept most of the time even with the music on and I got to have a drink and dress up like a normal person again. Not everyone struggles in the early days, and a couple of hours for 1 night is more than doable. You'll enjoy yourself and I'm sure your friends would love to have newborn cuddles and a catch up with you to celebrate the new year. I'd feel awful if one of my friends thought she had to stay at home with a newborn so she didn't feel like a burden.

Wait until baby is here and then decide. Strangers on MN can't predict whether or not you're allowed to go out.

I definitely wouldn't especially if you're thinking of walking, at night! Newborn babies are very vulnerable and you will not be at all recovered from a major body event. It's foolhardy and dangerous. Put your baby first.

I’ll check the plans with my friend this week about how many people we need and how many have confirmed. I’m not sure what my son will be doing yet. The restaurant said children are welcome so he can definitely come if he wants to and he’s so excited to become a big brother he might not want to be away from the baby. His dad is much more of a homebody so I doubt he’ll be doing anything so at least he can choose what he wants to do. The restaurant is in the bar/nightclub/restaurant area of the city but they have a family friendly celebration earlier till about 9 with children’s entertainment and I’ve taken my son to that in past years. I will definitely drive in or get a lift with my friend only thing is we might not be able to get parking really close. If I go with my friend which I would prefer over driving alone I would probably have to be one of the last there if she’s the organiser but I think the booking was till ten and I’m sure the meal would have finished before that. My main concern with strangers was on the way back to the car but I think at 10 it’s not that crazy and there are usually heaps of police around. I’ll definitely let my friend know again there’s a big possibility I won’t be up for it but hopefully keep the option open

I think ‘foolhardy and dangerous’ is a bit much...

Have you considered that the baby may be late and it may be only a week old and not 3 weeks old when you plan to take it? Maybe wait closer to the day because you have no idea what you’ll be doing in a few weeks time.

I had a four week old by NYE - there's no way I'd have gone to a party, especially not staying up late and travelling. I was barely coping (diagnosed with PND the following week!), totally knackered from the sleep deprivation and incapable of making anything resembling conversation! Definitely didn't want to socialise. We'd also only been out of hospital since day 8 - if your baby is overdue and/or you end up with a CS (I didn't but had various other problems) you may have only been out a week or so.

Stay home, in front of the fire with a takeaway and a glass of wine. Seriously, why bother?

No. My first was 2 weeks late. We came our of hospital 2 days before what would be your planned night out. I was bleeding heavily and my Milk has just come and leaking everywhere. I was a hormonal weepy mess in pain from stitches after a tough delivery. All I could do was feed the baby and waddle to the kitchen to make a sandwich My second was delivered on date but again I was kept in a week so had been home for only 2 weeks. I was cluster feeding and bleeding heavily. Honestly don't do it.

Maybe I'm missing something here (though I have had two children), but what does having lochia have to do with it? You just deal with it like a period right? There's a million reasons why this night out may or may not be doable, but whats a period got to do with it?