AIBU to take 3 week old baby out for NYE dinner?

[Imtootired]

My baby is due first week in December. My friend asked if I’d like to do something NYE and I said I’d like to but not sure what I will be able to do with baby. She has found a nice restaurant in the city that has private rooms if you have over a certain amount of people and spend enough. I think she’s already got enough numbers for that so it wouldn’t be the end of the world if I do have to cancel. Obviously I have no idea how my baby will be but if everything is good I wonder if I should take a baby so young out, especially in the evening on such a busy night. There is room for the pram and we can turn the speakers in there off or down so it’s not too loud. None of our friends cause trouble or drink much at all. Although 10+ people in a room might be quite loud anyway. And my main concern is going through the city with such a small baby in a pram when it’s so crowded and there might be a lot of drunk, crazy people around. What do you think?

You have no idea how birth will go. You may still need a rubber ring to sit on (I did two weeks after). Knackered, tearful, feeling in need of bed at 6pm. So I would say no thanks. But ask her over in gloomy January for a cheery daytime baby cuddle and a cuppa. I also loathe New Year’s Eve, so would love your cast iron excuse not to go!

When my DD (no2) was 6 days old went to a 50th birthday party in early Feb (just me, DS(3) and DD), in a restaurant booked out for about 75. She fed and then slept the whole time in the pram, I had a great time. I drove though so I couldn't have a drink - pity, so make sure your DH drives/you get a cab.

My baby is 14 months. At any point in the last 14 months.. I couldn't think of anything worse. The takeaway, glass of wine and a film sounds fab!

@Taneve you sound like a right laugh. What a drama queen...

See how you feel. Everyone is very different. Your baby will be absolutely fine snuggled up warm for n a pram but it’s wether you will enjoy yourself is more the question.

I took my 6 week old to a Xmas meal in her car seat. I put her under the table, fed her once in 4 hours and she slept the rest of the time! If your baby can sleep through noise, then go for it!

You’ll probably be really knackered and getting up every hour and a half/2 hours to feed at that stage so I’d imagine that you probably won’t want to go when it comes to it.

I’m doing the thing I hate and replying when I haven’t read the whole thread so apologies now! I think you would be putting a lot of pressure on yourself but mainly: I would be fucking furious if I spent money on a meal out on NYE to sit in a quiet room worrying about someone else’s new baby being disturbed etc. Your friend may want you to come but it doesn’t mean everyone else in the room would want you and your baby there.

Quiet night in with your little one and lots of cuddling is your best option. Get some comfy clothes on and have a lazy evening. . Your Baby will appreciate that more than being out in a loud restaurant.

Going out for a short walk after your Baby is born and close to home is one thing but a NYE party is another. I don't have Children but I would be staying in on that night and then maybe go out briefly the following day. Your Friend should understand that you are fairly close to your little one coming into the world and the likelihood of you going out is thin, specially to a loud bar. I am an Adult and am wanting my bed before Big Ben Has even struck so I don't know how a new Baby and new Mum are going to cope with a long night.

Baby will be fine if you go, but you may not be well enough physically or emotionally to enjoy it. Can you say that you honestly won’t know until closer to the date? You can predict how the birth etc will go so can’t commit.

In my in laws family, it is quite customary to attend something big like this with a young baby. However, I wouldn't if the event was hinged on my presence in any way. I'm just thinking of in law who had her baby a couple of weeks early on the 23rd or 24th and attended a family wedding on the 28th (service until reception started) and a NYE party on the 31st at a family member's house. All with baby and while BF.

Thanks to everyone for your advice and your own experiences. My friend who is organising the dinner came over for coffee this afternoon and we talked about it. I said there’s a good chance I might not come if I’m not feeling up to it or too tired and she’s fine with that. There are enough people coming so they’re not relying on me to make up numbers. She doesn’t have kids but fully gets concerns about it and she works in healthcare and has had a low immune system before so knows that you have to be extra careful of newborns. I’ll just wait till closer to the time and see how myself and the baby and my older son are going and make my mind up then. I’m getting very excited to have my baby and I’m happy that it will be summer here so hopefully I can get out for walks with the baby quite often and my older son will be on long school holidays so we can have lots of time relaxing without doing the school run.

Sounds like a sensible plan OP and great that there’s flexibility.

I guess with it being summer over there then all the worry on here over the baby being cold doesn’t apply! (Though I didn’t quite get that argument).

Good luck with it all!

I do wonder if some people put their lives entirely on hold for months and months after they have a baby, given the number who seem to think going to this type of thing is so beyond anyone’s capability if they have a small baby!

But, in truth, I think you need to decide after YOUR baby arrives. I’d have happily taken mine to something like this if it truly wasn’t overly noisy as you suggest (I felt fine, no ‘fog’, baby slept quite well, plus I could leave if I wanted - as can you) but you don’t know what will happen at the birth (straightforward, C section, very overdue etc) or what life will be like in the first few weeks. Each parent and each baby is different.

Think wait and see is best route - my son was due 1st week of December and went 9 days over. After a rough delivery I was a bit of a zombie for first month. I would have preferred to not go out on 31st but unfortunately it wasn't just NYE but the New Millennium and everyone was determined to party hard in case the world ground to a halt!
We all survived but I only have very limited memories of that night as I was falling asleep on my feet!
Do what feels right at the time is my advice

No, no, absolutely no !

I do wonder if some people put their lives entirely on hold for months and months after they have a baby, given the number who seem to think going to this type of thing is so beyond anyone’s capability if they have a small baby

I think it’s probably more that some people really struggled with the birth/newborn days/pain/exhaustion/establishing breastfeeding etc and genuinely can’t imagine feeling well enough to go out at 3 weeks PP. Those who were able to manage it are lucky.

Just go and come back not too late! Better than being stuck in the house with FOMO! You're not just a mum, you're a person too!

Say yes and if you don't feel like it on the day then don't go.

Baby ear defenders to protect ears from the noise.

Take plenty of money for a taxi. Even pre book one if possible.

And I really wouldn't worry about "germs" or noise, honestly they are fine, mine was in numerous noisy kids birthday parties and was absolutely fine😊😊

Yeah don't worry putting your newborn at increased risk of severe illness, I mean this internet stranger's baby didn't get sick, which means nobody's ever does!

I'm due early December and I'm also thinking about going out NYE with my newborn... so far I'm thinking no as I will be sleep deprived but we will see.

At three weeks after my middle child I still couldn't sit down!! Also what happens if they are two weeks late? Babe will only be one week old then.

@Darkbloom so what's the difference? If you're unable to get sleep at home, may as well ne out having fun getting no sleep imo.

@Wallyandasnog sounds terrible but not the norm surely?