Thank you @Deadringer - I think that's about all I can come with right now. I just worry that once the baby's born, he may use my financial vulnerability and fragile mental state (which, although not an issue past or present will, udging by comments here, be an inevitable consequence of trying to stick with this) against me should we ever have to fight over custody.
Part of me, albeit the part with a tendency to catastrophise, is tempted to leave before the baby is born to be sure that I won't have to battle for custody.
Yet I fear I am panicking. This might all blow over. Once baby arrives, the reality might hit him of how much I have to do and everything will fall into place.
This is so interesting. You swing from one extreme to the other, never pausing in the sensible, realistic zone in between.
It's as if you believe that you can cancel out one extreme though with the other. Thus failing to recognise that your reality may not exactly match that particular extreme - but it is really very bad and nowehere near normal.
You need to stop living inside your head, dealing in fantasies and start facing, assessing and acting upon cold, hard facts.
No, he can't use your normal, reasonable stress against you to gain custody. That will not happen. He won't want custody anyway. If he did, he wouldn't get it.
However, yes he will use your fragile state against you and yes his control will get worse.
No, he will not magically get better when the baby arrives. He will have you exactly where he wants you. Vulnerable and beholden.
Stop speculating and worrying. Get off the internet and go and see a real life solicitor. Get the facts. Understand the implications. Then make your decisions.