AIBU...DP wanking in bed with me?!

[towankornottowank]

Genuinely unsure whether I ABU or not?

DP openly masturbates, as do I. I have no problem with it. He might have one in the sitting room after I've gone to bed. Or in the shower etc.

I woke up to DP wanking in bed a couple of years ago. I can't explain why but it made me feel weird and I told him not to do it.

So roll on, one night last week, woke to a familiar bump in the bed, Low and behold, he's jerking off again while I sleep, not over me physically or anything just in his own world!

I can't explain it as I'm not jealous, I don't feel left out. It makes me feel violated. Dp has promised he won't do it again but doesn't understand why I'm so offended by it.

He feels if it was the other way around he would just join in! What are your thoughts?

StreetwiseHercules

You sound like an abusive person. My feelings about people masturbating next to me aren’t “silly”.

I sound like it to you, perhaps, but I’m not an abusive person in any way, to any one.

It’s not surprising to me that you consider the act of disagreeing with you to be “abusive”.

It’s not surprising to me that you consider the act of disagreeing with you to be “abusive”.

Nope. I consider your disregard for the feelings of others likely to result in abusive behaviour. It’s nothing to do with disagreement with me, but with what sounds like an intense preoccupation with your own desires at the expense of those of others.

He shouldn't wake you up. He needs to be more careful. But I wouldn't have a problem with it otherwise. What do you expect him to do, get up and go in another room?

Cor this thread makes me feel like a right prude.

Aside from the waking up bit (unforgivable), I'd not be ok with my other half openly wanking hither and yon.

Pearls clutched right off.

“ Nope. I consider your disregard for the feelings of others likely to result in abusive behaviour.“

I see your conduct as merely a low level smear because you don’t like what I’m saying.

I am not indicating a view that my feelings always come first or that the feelings of others do not matter, merely that sometimes the feelings of others matter less than mine. It’s a judgment call. If the other person is being silly, I will give less regard to their feelings.

Similarly I would not expect anyone on this planet to always put my feelings before theirs.

StreetwiseHercules

You keep telling yourself that. Just don’t be surprised if someone is horrified by it.

I’ve perfected a technique of stimulating my bell end to a climax that doesn’t rock the bed.

Definitely not eating anything with button mushrooms in it tonight