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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Are you really that bothered about shared toilets?

491 replies

Beaverdam · 03/11/2019 16:08

We were discussing this in work the other day. I really dont care about sharing toilets with males but some of the other women are really annoyed about the idea.

Are you annoyed about this? If so, what isit that you dont like about it? Do you think that the men will perve?

OP posts:
TheOnlyLivingBoyInNewCross · 03/11/2019 16:51

FamilyOfAliens - I think JustAnnotherMammi was being ironic!

MrsTerryPratchett · 03/11/2019 16:51

Has anyone NOT had an 'escape to the toilets on a night out' moment? Or a 'crying girl alone in the toilet, you ask if she's OK'? Or a 'shit has anyone got a tampon?'

They put up sexual assault/domestic violence posters on the back of women's toilet doors in clubs for a reason. Because it's the one place an abusive man can't follow. And you can call from the cubicle if you want to. You're much less likely to be sexually assaulted in single sex facilities. Toilets are often in the basement, round the back, secluded. Dodgy as fuck sometimes.

You can take your drink in if you're worried about being spiked.

I've used mixed sex toilets and don't much care. But I'm not an idiot, I know why they are there.

hazeyjane · 03/11/2019 16:52

I am that bothered

-Safety
-Massive premenopausal periods
-My pre teen/early teen dds and their safety/dignity/learning to deal with periods and independence.

  • My mum and her continence issues
  • dignity (see above)
  • The men's toilets where I used to work were the Sistine chapel of pornographic doodling, descriptions of what they'd like to do to xxxx's wife/each other/anything with a fucking pulse and a variety of glory holes. (I realise not all men's toilets are like this)
-There is a reason the women's toilet's have the signs with women's shelter numbers, domestic violence numbers, pregnancy support etc....because they are safe spaces for females
MrMumble · 03/11/2019 16:53

OP what are your compelling reasons for having unisex toilets beyond ‘I don’t mind personally’

This. It doesn't matter that some women don't mind, even if only a few women do mind then they should have that provision. But why do we need to change anything? Why on earth do we need single sex toilets?

FamilyOfAliens · 03/11/2019 16:54

Whoops Blush

Though it’s a worry that I believed someone could hold that view.

GertiMJN · 03/11/2019 16:57

How about swapping the sign for mens toilet to unisex so those women who are happy to share can use them as well as men and keep the women's toilets as women only?

Vulpine · 03/11/2019 16:57

Pulppixie - how do you know there are 'no problems'? Have you spoken to all users?

Biancadelrioisback · 03/11/2019 16:57

I manage an office building where there are male and female toilets on both floors. The building is a new build and I've been there since day one.
All of the toilets were finished to the same, high standard, both have the same equipment (except female toilets have San bins). The building has been open a year and I just can't understand how the male toilets are just bad.
They smell horrible (both have the same amount of the same scent reed diffusers), they've managed to break the toilet brushes, the toilets constantly have shit stains on them and no toilet roll. There are a couple more men than women working in the building. I've flat out asked how their toilets are so bad and they act like I've got three heads!

Previously, I'd have said I have no problem sharing toilets with men, after witnessing this, not a chance. All the men I work with are clean, polite and presentable. No idea how they fuck up using a toilet so badly.

smemorata · 03/11/2019 16:59

I think a lot of the women saying they don't mind have experience of working in places which actually have nice loos! With proper enclosed cubicles and basins. A PP here posted about the horrible experience in their warehouse loos - not all loos are nice! At work ours are dimly lit and they are not closed cubicles. Someone could easily look over the top. There is also an ongoing problem with security with homeless people coming in to use them. (This is not a criticism of homeless people - they need loos too! But I just want to point out that some loos are already pretty grim and if you add in the fact that they are open to men, a LOT of women will try not to use them and this is neither fair nor good for their health.

Genvonklinkerhoffen · 03/11/2019 17:00

Similar to @exLtEveDallas I'm often the only woman in a Mess or training facility with up to hundreds of men. It's attritional having to ask someone to watch your arcs when you need to pee outside and then have to deal with men's immaturity, general seat admin, piss dribbles and shit stains when you actually have a loo to use.

I'm fortunately senior enough to be given a suite in my normal mess accommodation but NO WAY would I allow my juniors to have to put up with this sort of Nikki CO s just because it doesn't affect me.

Single sex. For so many reasons.

Genvonklinkerhoffen · 03/11/2019 17:00

*this sort of bollocks.

amusedbush · 03/11/2019 17:02

If it’s properly separated with floor to ceiling walls, a decent locking door and a sink inside the cubicle then I wouldn’t mind, so long as they were cleaned frequently. As stated by PP, men seem to piss everywhere.

DickKerrLadies · 03/11/2019 17:02

They put up sexual assault/domestic violence posters on the back of women's toilet doors in clubs for a reason.

This.

NiceLegsShameAboutTheFace · 03/11/2019 17:02

Yes, I'm very bothered. I don't wish to share personal space such as toilets or changing facilities with men.

Herbalteahippie · 03/11/2019 17:04

Trigger warning ... I’ve been sexually assaulted in a mixed toilet so yes, I am bothered.

WhenISnappedAndFarted · 03/11/2019 17:04

Every shared bathroom I've been in has been disgusting. Wee has been all over the seat and floors. That's the main reason why I don't like the idea.

Original poster
Beaverdam · 03/11/2019 17:06

I would like to make it very clear that i wouod prefer to have male and female toilets bit for whatever reason there are more unisex toilets now being brought in. I dint know whats causong such change and i dont see why we cant just keep it as it is. However, the change is coming and we just have to get ued to it.

OP posts:
belay · 03/11/2019 17:06

I can't stand shared toilets. I don't want to use a toilet that has pee on seat or on the floor. As that's usually what happens when men use it. Sorry but no

DriftingLeaves · 03/11/2019 17:07

Yes.

All the reasons listed.

Clownfish123 · 03/11/2019 17:08

No I don't want to share toilets with men in public spaces.

  1. I don't want men hearing me wee
  2. I don't want men hearing me poo
  3. I dont want men coming in after me once I have pood and smelling it
  4. I don't want men seeing me do my makeup before work when I've been too rushed to do it before I leave
  5. I don't want piss all over the seats
  6. I don't want men hearing me change my sanitary wear
Unnnndeadcake · 03/11/2019 17:09

No, we don't have to get used to it. We are voters too.

MsMustDoBetter · 03/11/2019 17:09

We should wash out those mooncups, show no "modesty" or shame. Pinch your nose and loudly complain about men's smells and how dirty that are for peeing all over the seat and floor.

Make the men so squeamish and uncomfortable that they beg for single sex loos.

Disfordarkchocolate · 03/11/2019 17:11

When I holidayed in Copenhagen I used several shared toilets and they were all fine. However, I felt very safe in public areas and there didn't seem to be a drinking culture and I don't see any of the street harassment of women that is common over here. I don't know if this is always the case but it made a difference in how comfortable I felt overall. I've generally worked in nice places but I still would prefer single-sex toilets at work. Sometimes you just feel the need to be away from men. And I have it from on good authority that men leave the toilets covered in pee.

Inebriati · 03/11/2019 17:12

Are you really that bothered about shared toilets?

I grew up in a conservative community where women are not permitted to use mixed sex toilets.
Which part of this is hard for you to understand? If you make toilets mixed sex then some women have to stay at home.

Why is that more acceptable to you than men's rights?

MrsApplepants · 03/11/2019 17:12

Women’s toilets are a safe space for women. I don’t want men in there for this reason. This needs no further explanation as far as I am concerned.

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