Are you really that bothered about shared toilets?

[Beaverdam]

We were discussing this in work the other day. I really dont care about sharing toilets with males but some of the other women are really annoyed about the idea.

Are you annoyed about this? If so, what isit that you dont like about it? Do you think that the men will perve?

I would like to make it very clear that i wouod prefer to have male and female toilets bit for whatever reason there are more unisex toilets now being brought in. I dint know whats causong such change

The reason is people like you who when questioned say that they don't mind sharing and don't see the problem. People need to be less woke and protect their fellow female women. The predators are getting free reign. There is a small percentage of transgenders who want something and are campaigning hard without seeing the bigger picture, there is a very large group of predators and fetishists who are using and abusing this campaign to get to their victims. We need sex separated area's otherwise innocent females will be abused.

When I worked as a cleaner in a hotel the most disgusting job we all dreaded was cleaning the men’s toilet, absolutely foul, piss all over the floor, shit stains in the loos. The women’s toilets weren’t perfect, but not on that scale. So no, I don’t agree with shared toilets, especially if alcohol is being consumed.

Yes, I am bothered about it.

I work with the public, in a public facility, that caters to all including very vulnerable people. There are elderly people with dementia. There are learning disabled people;. There are refugees. There are pre-pubescent children.

Many of these people would not be able to use the facility if there were not single sex, as determined at conception and observed at birth, toilet facilities. Mixed sex facilities are highly exclusionary and it is the most vulnerable whop miss out.

For example, there is a young learning disabled woman whose great pleasure in life is to come to our facility, once a week, on her own. She is not able to travel beyond a very limited area by herself. She can, however, travel the two bus stops with bus drivers who know her, and come to our facility. Her parents trust that she will be safe doing so, will not get lost, will be protected from predatory men. If the toilets were not single sex, as determined at conception and observed at birth, that trust would be lost. Her already very limited independence would be curtailed.

She matters. Other vulnerable people matter. I am sick of 'woke' fools who give zero shits about those less privileged than themselves.

No one answered my question earlier...

If you let your DDs (child DDs, that is) go to toilets by themselves in a restaurant, cafe etc. where you are nearby, would you be as happy letting them go to unisex toilets?

Particularly keen to hear from the "I'm cool with unisex toilets" crowd.

You've probably guessed that I'm a bit anti the idea!

Dignity is also an interesting factor alone.

Give up your dignity to not want shit around males, what about your dignity elsewhere? If your young child, or elderly relative was being changed and anyone could be there to listen or watch. Would you be happy about the disregard for their dignity? Of course not.

Giving up stuff is a slippery slope. Look at the hospital situation. Years ago we had mixed wards until someone with common sense came along and put an end to them.
Then we had women kicking other woman’s considerations to one side when it came to maternity wards. I don’t care, I demand he stay they tell women who have concerns about retaining a little bit of dignity, or they don’t feel safe etc.

Those now can have implications on the whole of the nhs and shared wards for all. After-all why not? Vulnerable mums don’t care so why should your nan care that the patient in the next bed has Alzheimer’s, and at times thinks she’s his wife and gets into bed with her.

Some may think I am over exaggerating. But am I? We rolled over in the first place and now we are loosing spaces, men are taking female sport places, sex specific jobs, scholarships from our daughters.

It’s not just about the toilets, it’s about not rolling over and accepting that we, our children, and future generations are being fucked over.

Globally reports have been made for decades about why shared spaces are bad. And every couple of years some idiot comes along with a new suggestion to share spaces, and we are treated like guinea pigs whilst the new way is implemented. Despite obvious concerns from others who are told to be quiet. And of course the inevitable happens, and victims are left behind. We know these never work. It’s been done countless times. Why should we support something that will result in more victims? It adds strain to already underfunded services.

Where’s the cash going to come from to pay additional police?
Where’s the additional money going to come from to get the victim medical treatment. And what about finding a hospital bed instead of being left in the corridor?
The money for tests?
The money to support the victim and their mental health?
The cost of taking it to court
More support for the victim and possibly family?

All that can be avoided. Give your head a wobble and realise it can be avoided if you keep spaces as they are. Protected.

I am a man.

We do not have shared toilets at work. I do not want shared toilets. From a male perspective, it would inevitably mean a longer wait to use them as urinals would end.

More importantly, I recognise there are perverted and dangerous men about and do not want women put in vulnerable or dangerous situations.

And as for the "We shouldn't be embarrassed about periods" argument, what about the reaction of males to our open and unembarrassed mooncup rinsing, sanitary wrapper rustling, sanitary bin lid banging? The embarrassed men, the pervs, the tittering schoolboys? I don't want them within feet of me, thanks.

@Littledidsheknow not a chance would I let mine use them. I used to panic as it was when my boys wanted to go in the men’s alone.

And why are people comparing their nice work toilets to public toilets? Are you really hanging around public toilets so much that you know everyone in the same way you do your colleagues? If you are, take a hint from this thread, it’s not healthy.

Thought experiment for the 'What's the problem?' posters:

Imagine two sets of toilets: both equally clean, both with no queue, both with floor to ceiling cubicles. One set is women only, one set is mixed.

What percentage of women choose the mixed sex ones?

A lot of people have real difficulty understanding anything out of their own, very limited, experience. They also have real difficulty connecting the dots of more complex overarching principles. It’s a constant battle to get people to properly engage their brains and and consider what these things actually mean, not just for them, but for other women.

A lot of people also seem to think that dangers posed to girls and women are not actually real. I wonder if it’s to do with films, books and tv shows? Do people think it’s all just made up and doesn’t actually happen in real life? To many women?

What about urinary incontinence? A very common problem amongst women whether on a regular or occasional basis.

Ever been in the position of having a coughing fit at work and having an accident leading to a need to quickly change clothes in the ladies?

I have.

No woman should have to deal with that in front of male human beings, giggling schoolboys, men with sexual fetishes or just plain old decent men who would rather not be party to your embarrassment.

Re children :
We went to Wagamama in Cardiff a few months ago. Dd, 14, wanted to go to the loo. I went with her, the loos were well tucked away and very quiet. When we entered, essentially it was a narrow corridor with cubicles off it, the first three (I think) for men, then the last three, furthest from the door, for women. It was pretty creepy in there. Empty when we went in, we had to walk past the hopefully empty men’s cubicle. Dd went in and I waited for her outside the door. A man came in, and went into the cubicle at the other end of the row. I was so glad I had gone up with her. If a man had grabbed her he could easily have pushed her into a cubicle, and it was so far from the main space that she would not have been heard shouting for help. The whole set up freaked me out actually. No way would I ever go somewhere like that alone, or risk my daughters going up there.
The 14 year old is now of an age when she is more independent- what would happen if she was there with friends, as she was by chance a month later ? That time she didn’t use the loo, because she knew that they were unsafe and creepy. So girls and women have to adapt their behaviour, possibly not go out, because retailers want to look “inclusive” FFS.

Exactly SirVix

Still waiting for a pro unisex poster to address the issue of children/youngsters going to unisex or public toilets.

I am sick of woke fools who give zero shits about those less privileged than themselves
This.

I don’t think it can be based on media to not realise the realities of Male crime against women.

Surely they watch the news. Talk to other people, and clearly they do even if it’s on forums.

It’s selfishness.

Even if you have been lucky to escape any of the bad things some do, it doesn’t take a lot of thinking to understand why some don’t want to share their space. They are thinking purely about themselves, not their children, relatives, friends, colleagues. I would feel ashamed if it was. And if someone I knew shared this attitude I would ask them what the fuck was wrong with them.

@Littledidsheknow

And as for the "We shouldn't be embarrassed about periods" argument, what about the reaction of males to our open and unembarrassed mooncup rinsing, sanitary wrapper rustling, sanitary bin lid banging?

They can fuck off? The reason they're like this is because periods are treated as a dirty secret. Being more open about it will help this issue.
Most men I've encountered are willing to listen and understand when it comes to periods. The few who find it disgusting and don't want to hear about it can jog on, they're the freaks, not us for changing a sanitary pad in a place where they might hear it.

I have come across men like this, and I use it as a natural friend cleanser. I try to educate and if they're idiots about it then cya later. Don't get me wrong, I don't go round waving my mooncup infront of them, but if I'm having a particularly heavy bleed or having a tough time with my period and I'm around male friends, then I tell them im having a real rough time with my period and educate them about endometriosis. They know about my surgeries, they know how it's affected my bladder. Why should anyone be embarrassed to share things like this?

I can completely understand in current times the want to have some privacy with your period, especially if you're having a horrific time with it. But many people (including men) are far more understanding that everyone realises. I'm saying if we were a bit more open about our periods because it's not something to be embarrassed about then maybe society's opinions on it all would slowly change. That's my hope anyway.

what about the reaction of males to our open and unembarrassed mooncup rinsing

I'm a woman and I don't want to see anyone rinsing a mooncup in the sink where I've got to wash my hands.

Just wanted to add, my points on periods don't mean I'm all for unisex toilets.

I don't personally mind unisex toilets, but I don't think that we should have them everywhere. I can completely understand some points here, especially if you've had a particularly traumatic past, of course I wouldn't expect anyone in this position to feel comfortable using a unisex toilet and it's completely understandable why they don't want to.

No, I’ve got absolutely no problem with periods, nor in fact any bodily functions, actually, but that has precisely nothing to do with what perverted/stupid/immature/misogynistic men think, or act.

Don’t make women responsible for what men do to them.

Also please understand that this has very little to do with decent, good men. The problem is many men are not decent, and not good.

They can fuck off?

If only it were that simple. Yes of course most men are perfectly reasonable and understanding about periods, but it's the ones who aren't that are the problem: the pervs getting off on it in the next cubicle, a group of drunken idiots in a unisex pub toilet jeering at a lone 18YO, the schoolboys laughing at their menstruating classmates, especially the younger ones who started earlier than average (because unisex school toilets are cool too, yes?)

To say they can just fuck off is saying we should just ignore them. Which, in turn, is saying women should just put up and shut up when it comes to men's inappropriate behaviour.
This is totally and completely unacceptable.

Ninkaninus

Yes, exactly... to both of your posts.

Girls are coming to harm as a result of self-excluding from schools mixed facilities.

Disabled are having accidents.

Theres some ridiculously high stats for m on f assaults escalating in mixed sex areas, like 800% I read somewhere.

Who in their right mind considers that mixed sex is in any way is working?

To say they can just fuck off is saying we should just ignore them. Which, in turn, is saying women should just put up and shut up when it comes to men's inappropriate behaviour. This is totally and completely unacceptable.

I said the opposite of this. I said educate and if they don't want to know then they can fuck off and deal with being uncomfortable while we continue doing what we're doing because they're the problem, not us.

What you suggested was that we should not deal with our periods with them around incase it makes them uncomfortable and we have to put up with stupid comments from them. As far as I understood, you were the one saying that we should ignore their behaviour and take actions to stop them being exposed to it. This is precisely what I'm encouraging people not to do.

I said educate and if they don't want to know then they can fuck off and deal with being uncomfortable while we continue doing what we're doing because they're the problem, not us.

Yes, that's fine for the 'couldn't give a fucks'...but quite a big ask if you're 11 and you've just started your period, or you have learning disabilities, or.....well, if you just aren't you!