Are you really that bothered about shared toilets?

[Beaverdam]

We were discussing this in work the other day. I really dont care about sharing toilets with males but some of the other women are really annoyed about the idea.

Are you annoyed about this? If so, what isit that you dont like about it? Do you think that the men will perve?

Toddler - id rather my male work colleagues didnt know i was menstruating

I was recently on a cruise and DH mistakenly told our DDs that the toilets outside the cafe area were unisex, and then let them go alone. I was very bothered on hearing this and thought I’d not be able to let them go to the loo alone now if the toilets were unisex.
Turns out he was mistaken, and he’d sent them to the mens’
No harm done, but I was pleased that the toilets were Male or female after all.

Would anyone else be happy letting their young DDs go alone into mixed toilets, including in areas where people have been drinking?

Years ago, when I was in my early 20s studying in London, I went to a gym with shared changing rooms. One day, a man started hovering around me at the gym, making comments on my appearance and trying to secure a date - creepy and he was at least 20 years older than me. Despite me politely refusing several times in the gym, he followed me into the unisex changing rooms to continue to "sweet talk" me into a date. No man stepped in, but a very straight talking (I think) Chinese lady came to my rescue. I just feel so lucky that she was there - I was still at a stage of my life when I felt I had to be polite to these kind of creepy males and was feeling very upset about changing near him (even in a cubicle with a door closed). I have never been much of a clubber, but I have escaped these kind of intense males in the ladies loos on a couple of occasions.

Do men ever need to escape and hide from creepy woman into a man only space? I suspect not.

I'm surprised there hasn't been a backlash against this from religious groups.

Could all the one-liners who are "not bothered" please come back and give reasons why they aren't bothered? It feels like none of you are actually looking at the issue and potential risks. Are you burying your heads in the sand because it's easier to accept what we're told we have to tolerate, than stand up for our hard won rights?

They do smell of wee more - the smell reminds me of school toilets.

Fully enclosed cubicle with washbasin opening onto a corridor are the same set up as accessible toilets so I have no problem with that. Standard toilet set up I wouldn't be happy with.

I am bothered, and would be highly uncomfortable if things like this were introduced when I was in school, or at present at my workplace.

I went on a rare visit to a new John Lewis store on the top floor there was a brand new Swedish restaurant. The food was lovely but the toilet was very on trend and shared women/men cubicles.

I did visit again but ensured I went to a toilet before going to a restaurant.

When out with a friend for lunch she refused to go to the restaurant as “if they can’t be bothered to provide a proper loo, then she won’t be bothering to visit them”.

They will lose business.

I genuinely don't understand why people are so squeamish about periods. Where I am everyone is fairly open about them, even in front of men, nobody even blinks. "I am not doing so well today because I got my period and it's killing me," is a totally legit reason to use (even with men) for being off one's game. it's fine. Men are not going to faint if they hear someone opening a sanitary pad, they're not going to Catch The Female from spotting someone carrying a moon cup. Having a period is not something embarrassing or anything to be ashamed of.

Almost all toilets here are unisex, they're stand alone rooms, walls floor to ceiling, each with their own sink and drying devices in. They don't stink of piss (normally), it's just like the unisex toilet in your own house. It's not a big deal at all.

Not a big deal for you.

Men piss on the floor

So do women. And they seem to be incapable of getting loo roll into the actual loo after using it.

Fully enclosed cubicle with washbasin opening onto a corridor are the same set up as accessible toilets so I have no problem with that. Standard toilet set up I wouldn't be happy with

I agree. That said, there's always a queue for the ladies and rarely for the men's so it would be good if women could use the mens.

Damntheman

Everyone's different...people from different cultures where where may be a different attitude to periods, young girls just starting their period, women who are having motherfucking tsunami style periods (puts hand up), women with additional needs who may not feel entirely confident in their self care, elderly women or women with health conditions dealing with continence products, women going through post birth/miscarriage body changes and the emotions that can go along with that....

It's great that you are ok with it all. Many people aren't and ignoring the many valid reasons why people aren't is a little blinkered.

I'm surprised there hasn't been a backlash against this from religious groups.

Having been brought up in a very conservative Christian church, I feel like a lot of them wouldn't be all that bothered by it because their answer will be that if women stayed at home, where they should be, none of this matters.

There are people from all those categories here too hazeyjane. I know about it because they've been taught that it's nothing to be ashamed of and that it's possible to reach out for sympathy and aid if you want to. My point was that you SHOULDN'T feel stigamtised for such things, it's not right and I'm sad that some people still do. An evolved society is one where people are open and supportive, not one where people have to hide their pain and natural body functions and struggles because it's seen as shameful.

I'm sorry you suffer from gushers, my friend has the same issue with hers and has several times needed to ask (unashamed) for help with it. Isn't that great? To be able to ask for help without having to feel embarrassed about something that's not your fault at all? Support, care, love, that's what I advocate for.

isabellerossignol I was thinking more along the lines of very religious Muslim and Jewish women not wanting to mix with men who aren't their husbands.

Sockwomble accessible toilets have alarm buttons/ pulls in them though, unlike mixed sex wall to curling cubicles not designed accessible.

A 13 year old girl fought off an also teenage would be rapist in a mixed changing village near us - he pushed into the cubicle with her. She managed to get to the lifeguards who helped her, nobody stopped him as he followed her through the changing room the changing rooms because he had a right to be there - which he wouldn't have had if the changing rooms were single sex!

OP, you started this thread saying you "really don't care" about mixed-sex toilets but later say that you'd prefer separate male and female facilities.

Why would you prefer separate facilities?

“It’s just like the unisex toilet in your own house, it’s no big deal”
A. As pp said for you
B. Plenty of women will have a toilet at home that only women use.
C. The only man who uses my loo at home is my husband, and very occasionally a male visitor, usually my brother or nephew . Comparing a public toilet, where any man at all can use it, to the toilet in your own house is idiocy.

I'd really miss that women-only space, for lots of reasons. When I was working for Vile Smelly Micromanager I remember breathing a sigh of relief that this was the one place he couldn't get to me.

Damntheman what about being squeemish about being flashed by men using cubicles with the door open? Should every female from age 4 to 94 get over that silly squeemishness too?

It most certainly does happen, frequently.

It's incredibly arrogant to decree that because you feel no embarrassment dealing with periods in front of your male boss and the graduate trainees who report to you and the creepy guy from accounts and your friend's 15 year old son, 12 year old girls and women dealing with postnatal bleeding or miscarriage or heavy periods starting at unexpected times or women (including teenagers) from conservative backgrounds should be more like you and get over their squeemishness.

Yes, i’m bothered. I want to be able to check my make up in private without men walking by. Also, what about urinals? Would they still be ‘allowed’ to exist because surely that’s just segregation. If they can’t exist then we get gross men pissing all over the seat and it’s bad enough having to remind DS to clean the toilet at home but why should I clean off a stranger’s piss (or possibly sit in it accidentally) 🤮

Interesting points but I'm pretty sad about women here who seem extremely embarrassed or uncomfortable to have a man realise they're on their period or that they're changing sanitary wear.

We're all adults, there really isn't any reason to be embarrassed about a period. Why has society made you think that this is an embarrassing situation? Really sad to read about, especially because it aids in women's suffering when it comes to the likes of endometriosis.