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to think that while bringing uninvited children to a party is rude, this mother's response is HARDCORE
658

thedevilwithbarty · 03/11/2019 12:23

So there has been a bit of an issue lately at our local primary (the one my kids went to, they're teens now but it's a small community, so we still know a lot of people there) with people bringing additional kids (siblings) to parties and it's perceived as quite cheeky, especially when they're left and hosting parents expected to supervise and feed kids they didn't invite.

There was a whole-class party at a leisure centre last weekend at which the hosting mum had done little lunch boxes for each child with the usual - rolls, fairy cakes, fruit, veg sticks, crisps etc. There were unfortunately several uninvited siblings dumped by their parents at the start of the party.

If I were the hosting parent and I knew this wa likely to happen, I would have either put a note on the invitation that I was catering for the children individually, so please do NOT bring additional children, or brought a few extra boxes of food - I'd be pissed off at the cheekiness, but I wouldn't see a child go hungry.

This mum had brought a little bin with a sign on it saying "Yuck Bin" with a vomiting emoji Shock which she passed around for all the children to put the items they didn't like from their food boxes. Then the uninvited siblings were allowed to take food from the Yuck Bin.

I wasn't there, obviously, but I have heard via friends that one of the mothers of the additional children flipped out at the end of the party when she was told by her child about how he was fed. There was a bit of a scene and the birthday child was upset. I can see her point tbh - she's a rude cow for dumping her children wholesale without asking first, but the hosting mum's way of dealing with it was horrible. AIBU to think that nobody has behaved very well here?

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Am I being unreasonable?

AIBU

You have one vote. All votes are anonymous.

DarlingNikita · 03/11/2019 13:33

Slightly not the point, but I wouldn't like the 'Yuck Bin' thing. I don't think it's a good idea to encourage kids to talk about food like that.

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WorraLiberty · 03/11/2019 13:37

Slightly not the point, but I wouldn't like the 'Yuck Bin' thing. I don't think it's a good idea to encourage kids to talk about food like that.

Why?

'Dislike' bin, 'can't stand' bin, 'hate' bin are all alternatives I suppose but adults and children alike tend to use the word 'Yuck' for things they don't like.

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Salene · 03/11/2019 13:39

The whole thing is bizarre .? Who actually takes a uninvited kid to a party and leaves them.? I've never had that done to me, I went to party yesterday for my 5 year old and sat outside with my 3 year old and waited as it was a craft party so not something that a extra could be added to , if it was soft play I'd pay for my other child entrance and lunch.

I'm not sure why the mum didn't just say , I've not catered for extra children so you can't leave them here.

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redchocolatebutton · 03/11/2019 13:41

I think it's a great idea. cuts both waste and bullshit.

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whyamidoingthis · 03/11/2019 13:42

I was once left 2 littlies on a pony party that the mum expected me to entertain as well as host DDs party . You can hardly leave 3&4 year olds to run loose around stables!

This is what the CFs rely on.The abandoned children are not your responsibility. Phone call to parent telling them they forgot their younger children and could they come and get them immediately as it is an unsafe environment for unsupervised children and you are concerned they may get injured.

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Gruzinkerbell1 · 03/11/2019 13:43

Marvelling at the mother’s audacity 👏

probably misses point of thread

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Hoppinggreen · 03/11/2019 13:46

I imagine there were 2 separate things happening here
The party mum had created the Yuk bin as a gun and light hearted way of letting the children who didn’t want to eat items from their lunchbox get rid of the unwanted food .
Then maybe the mum said that she hadn’t got any food for the uninvited children but they were more than welcome to help themselves to anything from the unwanted items, which in my opinion was more than she needed to do
Then one CF decide to kick off and divert attention from the fact that she had dumped her kid somewhere they shouldn’t have been in the first place.
I don’t think party mum has done anything wrong at all

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Hoppinggreen · 03/11/2019 13:46

Fun and lighthearted, not gun

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SoupDragon · 03/11/2019 13:48

Have to say, I'm on the side of the host.

How on Earth do people think it is OK to dump uninvited siblings at a party and then leave? I can't believe the CFery of some people!

I've taken siblings to a party as it was unavoidable but 1) I stayed 2) I paid (where appropriate) and 3) I fed them. (With the older siblings they took Games consoles and amused themselves) If I was leaving I would have taken the siblings with me!

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InsertFunnyUsername · 03/11/2019 13:49

It's the rude mothers fault for bringing uninvited children. But I couldn't openly carry a "Yuck bin" around and feed little kids from it, its degrading either way and you have to be a right arsehole to want to try prove a point to an adult, using a child. A simple "This child isn't invited so I cant host and feed them will do"

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SoupDragon · 03/11/2019 13:49

The party mum had created the Yuk bin as a gun and light hearted way of letting the children who didn’t want to eat items from their lunchbox get rid of the unwanted food
Then maybe the mum said that she hadn’t got any food for the uninvited children but they were more than welcome to help themselves to anything from the unwanted items, which in my opinion was more than she needed to do

I agree that this is likely. Then an uninvited child told their CF parent they'd been fed from a bin.

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Amibeingnaive · 03/11/2019 13:50

CF mums get what they deserve.

Except they don't, do they? Their kids get what the CF mums deserve in this case.

All this 'host mum deserves a medal' crap... not unless it's the 'petty micro-aggression of the year' award.

Just greet your guests on entry and kindly but firmly explain siblings cannot stay.

It is not hard. And also doesn't give the cheeky fuckers any airtime - they can't grumble when they have been thwarted in such a faultlessly reasonable way.

Verdict: CF mum is a dick. Host mum is also a dick.

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InsertFunnyUsername · 03/11/2019 13:52

Then maybe the mum said that she hadn’t got any food for the uninvited children but they were more than welcome to help themselves to anything from the unwanted items


Yes I didn't think of this actually. But if she had done this purposely to make a point, I think she should have grew a backbone instead and told the Mother no Non invitees.

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Sunflower20 · 03/11/2019 13:55

Very harsh and unkind. But at the same time she probably won't have uninvited kids dumped on her ever again.

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57Varieties · 03/11/2019 13:58

This mum had brought a little bin with a sign on it saying "Yuck Bin" with a vomiting emoji shock which she passed around for all the children to put the items they didn't like from their food boxes. Then the uninvited siblings were allowed to take food from the Yuck Bin.

She sounds nuts!

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Whoops75 · 03/11/2019 13:58

Dropping uninvited children is very rude

Two wrongs don’t make a right but imo the blame lies with the parent of the child not the host parent.

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BillHadersNewWife · 03/11/2019 13:59

I have always thought people were mean about the odd sibling. I always used to make up extra bags for the extras who I KNEW would be at my DCs parties. I mean...it's an extra balloon, piece of tat and whistle or something...not going to break the bank! How hard is it to make a few extra sandwiches too?

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diddl · 03/11/2019 14:00

It's unfortunate that the kids had to be on the receiving end, but it seems that desperate measures were needed.

The mother who "flipped out" upset the bday child by the sounds of things.

Also, more than one parent did it, so maybe not so easy to greet everyone & turn away the ones not invited there & then?

I can't see the rude mum's point at all.

Perhaps bday mum should have fed the invitees & given no food at all to the others?

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redchocolatebutton · 03/11/2019 14:00

Just greet your guests on entry and kindly but firmly explain siblings cannot stay.

It is not hard.

it bloody is, especially with rude as fuck cf who don't take no for an answer and might cause a szene/have a tantrum.

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thehorseandhisboy · 03/11/2019 14:02

I thought you were going to say that she just didn't give them any food!

Actually, it would have been acceptable if she had specified no additional siblings, people had dropped siblings, and the children with an sibling were asked to share a box with them really.

No-one would have been excluded and the host would have made a point about not catering for additional children.

How do these uninvited siblings get 'dropped' anyway? Host mum should have been on the door (or had someone else there) reiterating the 'no additional siblings' rule which she had already given on the invitations.

What the host did was pretty shit though. Although there I'm a bit Hmm at all the talk about 'host mum' - was there a partner, either male or female, there at all?

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itwasalovelydreamwhileitlasted · 03/11/2019 14:03

How many of the outraged parents on this thread are the ones who have dumped the extra siblings at a party.......🤔

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Amibeingnaive · 03/11/2019 14:04

No-one I know would 'cause a scene' if I turned away a sibling. My god, do people really do this?!

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Amibeingnaive · 03/11/2019 14:05

@itwasalovelydreamwhileitlasted I have never and would never do that. I just think it's a spiteful thing to do.

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Ihatemyseleffordoingthis · 03/11/2019 14:06

I always, personally, took a more the merrier approach. And usually on a whole class party type gig, someone doesn't show and it all works out. And am never knowingly undercatered so it's been fine.

It's nigh on impossible to tell a CF hellbent on heading to Costa unaccompanied that she can't leave her extra kids. Not when tons of other people are showing up simultaneously. It's equally horrible to have to be a bouncer at your own kid's party.

TBH this should be titled "Mother feeds kids un-needed party snacks" . Great big non story. CF mum should be grateful her kid had a nice time at the party not kicking off and upsetting birthday child.

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Lhastingsmua · 03/11/2019 14:06

More information needed.

Was it like half eaten sandwiches or food that was intact/untouched/packaged?

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