Men sat in women's changing rooms

[nycfrog]

AIBU to get annoyed with women who plop their (male) SOs on the stools/seating in changing rooms?

Yesterday I needed the store assistant to help me with the back of a dress - on the way out of the changing rooms I realised my bare back had basically been exposed to a random bloke sat at the entrance. I know the shop assistant probably could have been more discreet but aibu to think they could sit somewhere else?

@Beaverdam are you really so shocked a woman doesn’t want a man sleeping in a maternity ward ? Really ?

Cocolapew You should have called him a dirty old perve in response. What the hell does a middle aged man even need to go into New Look for? Its a shop aimed at teenage girls!

I don't think a 'MAN' should be sitting at the entrance of a 'WOMANS' changing room.

"Men can sit outside if they wish" - agreed.

Their presence in the vicinity is a variable affecting whether I can manage my issues sufficiently to be able to use changing rooms on any given occasion, but that's where the line of reasonable accommodation is drawn. The sanctum of single-sex space needs to be there but to extend its boundaries beyond the changing room is an unfair imposition on other women.

I can't use changing rooms accessed via lingerie departments at all any more. I used to be able to kick myself over the mental hurdle sometimes, but the increased incidence of perceptible agp has scuppered that entirely.

Where do you suggest my husband goes while I try something on in a shop he has no interest in
I don't care where he goes. It's not, and will never be, my job to think of solutions for random husbands.

Hearhooves, I'd get your pervy partner removed from the entrance. HTH.

LyingWitchInTheWardrobe

Read what people are saying

Shouldn't be waiting outside of the changing room area

Shouldn't be in the lingerie or make up department

Shouldn't go shopping with their wife at all

Any woman who needs a 2nd opinion should buy it and return it because the husband should be sent away rather than wait in the vicinity of the changing room

Shouldn't go into any shop where a woman might be trying clothes on.

So that's why I'm posting as I am. Some posters aren't restricting their objections to only inside the changing rooms but to various departments within the shop or even the entire shopping trip.

Yes. I never knew that was the reason why. I wouldt have gave a crap if there where men on the ward when i had just given birth. I would have had a much better experience if i could have had my partner with me. Especially on that first night.

I'd get your pervy partner removed from the entrance. HTH.

Aren't you a peach? So any man waiting in the general area of a shop is a perv? I think you have problems. HTH

Beaverdam No they shouldn't, if having a male there makes 7 other women uncomfortable. One women's right does not trump 7 others, on a hospital ward.

Also it may be a non issue to you, but many women have come across men who perv in lingerie departments and changing rooms and men who do get off on women using the toilet. Why is your experience trumping the rights and needs of others?

Why just because it's a non issue to you, do you think you have the right to tell others to get over themselves and to tell them what to think and feel.

You have none of their life experience, mental or physical health, etc. So that shows your lack of critical thinking in thinking that another woman may think and feel and experience these things differently to you.

Extra clap for getting the word hysterical into your post also.

Well, that's not what you said in your last post, Hearhooves and I clarified the position in my post beforehand. You've said 'wives have the right for partners to be outside changing rooms' and I've disagreed with you. Just as for men - your rights don't trump another woman's right to feel safe and comfortable in a space designed for her.

Not a toilet, not outside a changing room, not in a maternity ward. That's not an exhaustive list either.

Women's spaces are for women and that's all I have to say on the matter really. I'm baffled that it needs repeating... to another woman.

@Honeybee85

I don’t exactly see WHY my DH is a treat for other women when he is waiting OUTSIDE a changing room

🤣🤣

@flirtygirl i disagree with you but you are entitled to your opinion.

Some people just want something to be annoyed about. Not all men are perves and yes hysterical comes to mind.

I've never taken my husband into a shop where I'm getting undressed or where other women are. He sits in a cafe and looks after the bags/kids whilst I try on in peace

What!! Hahaha such a load of bollocks! You are honestly saying your dp has never been into a department store, or a clothes shop which sells both Male and Female clothes? What fucking tosh.

LyingWitchInTheWardrobe

Outside a changing room or standing in the shop is a public area. Of course men can be there. Why conflate that with being inside the changing room, or inside the ladies toilet?

It is a public area. You can't police who is and isn't allowed inside the general area of a shop.

Igot, He'd much rather sit down with a coffee than wait for me to try stuff on. That is what I said, quite clearly really but, if there were too many words in that post, maybe this one is a bit clearer...

Outside a changing room or standing in the shop

Should read
Outside a changing room ie standing in the shop

@Beaverdam I had a caesarean with all the shit attached to me, catheter and feeling like crap in pain in a hospital gown with more of me exposed than normal and I don’t think I’d have appreciated a man beside me I didn’t know nor would I have inflicted my OH on an other woman. I thought that was just common decency ? Maybe I’m not woke enough.

Just to clarify, I don't think men should be in the changing area of a womans changing room but fail to see why they can't be outside them. They have no chance of seeing anything unless the woman walks out of the actual area. In every changing room I have ever seen, you have to go physically into the changing area, normally around a corner, you cant just see in from outside.

Got to wonder about blokes getting testerical about not being allowed to haunt the lingerie section or lurk at the entrance of Women’s changing rooms

If you can’t deal with women having space, should you be in public yourself?

Just a thought, like

MadgeMidgerson

So men can't buy lingerie or nightwear as gifts then?

Does that mean women aren't allowed to buy pants or socks too?

These areas aren't single sex spaces so in these instances if you can't deal with the opposite sex being present you should have to remove yourself. They are not single sex spaces

@Gardai didnt you have curtains? I kept my curtains closed when i was there. I didnt want to see the other women on the ward and couldnt have cared less if there were men there.

Saying that, there were men there in the day so i dont really see what the harm would be to have them there at night too.

I dont get your woke comment.

And women shouldn’t be calling other women hysterical just because they value their space - the menz call us that enough - unless perhaps you are one, it is the Internet after all.

I was in a NHS hospital @Beaverdam with flimsy curtains and anyway, why should I have to seal myself off from the ward ...it’s a maternity ward not a man’s ward or am I missing something ?

How about Boot out the pervy blokes as a slogan?

That would just be misandry. You are implying that all blokes are “pervy”. My DH is better at choosing clothes that look good on me than I am! He is not a pervert because he stands next to me in the lingerie department at M&S he is often helping me find the elusive garment that MIGHT just be in my 30F size.

My DH will stand (or sit where available) OUTSIDE the changing rooms and I will pop out and see what he thinks. If another woman comes out in a state of undress so he can see her then more fool her as anyone can and should be allowed in that space OUTSIDE the changing room... even in female only clothes shop.